Monday, February 27, 2012

the calling

yesterday frank and i went up at the end of the church service to ask for prayer from the congregation--frank feels like he is suppose to be doing more, like maybe preaching or something---our pastor and another pastor at church have been talking to frank for some time now and have been nothing but supportive----

over 25 years ago frank went forward at church and dedicated his life to the Christian ministry-----he was the pastor's associate for a time at our home church----but then life happened--our special needs children were born and things changed

i feel it was like--the saying "preach the gospel at all times and use words when necessary"----as you may have read if you follow my earlier blogs---we have been visiting an institution since 1989----one little girl turned into a long relationship with the residents there and in a hospital on the grounds-----frank basically did the hospital ministry alone---most of the times i would have kids with us that were not allowed to go on the floors--so we waited----we did the institution together-----i share this to say that for all of his faults (not to say he has more than i do)-- frank has been a real unseen hero for many years, esp. to people that couldn't tell anyone about all the kind and selfless things and time he has given to many through these many years-----

years ago he also had a radio ministry that he paid for himself--it was called "people need the Lord"--it was very good i thought, but we just couldn't afford to keep it--

i have always known that frank has a gift, he has an unnatural desire to read everything spiritual he can and esp. the Bible---i have witnessed that the Spirit definitely gives him keen understanding of what he reads--

-i have to tell you i have asked frank, "are you sure you heard right, and do you think God knows who you are married to" -i know i do not have to depend on my feelings or lack of them--"obedience is better than sacrifice"--i am in support of frank doing what he feels he is to do-------in my unsolicited defense--i have to tell you that i have always been there in frank's corner--telling him he can do whatever he wants, that i believe in him---i even told him once that he could cut open our roof and raise it to make a cape cod expanse--he did it even though he had never done anything construction wise in his life---again, one time i told him to go paint a mural on the boys wall--something also he had never done, never really ever drawn or painted---and he did a beautiful job!!--the point is i am an encourager if nothing else haha---but i have no illusions or romantic notions about what being a pastor or minister is, esp. in our culture---and of course i believe, like my pastor was saying yesterday, that all Christians should be ministers--

frank lost many jobs through the years, because when i or the children needed something or there were hospital times--he would take his sick days, vacation days, whatever he had to do--there was little help--so we had no other choice------he lost one of his favorite secular jobs a few years ago and probably one of the best ones he has ever had-----these last few years have been some of the hardest financially that we have seen, as so many have experienced----frank has no plans to quit his full-time job but may have to give up his second one------

i hope it wasn't wrong to brag on frank------one thing, if he is a minister, i know he will start trying to be better and better at everything--so i told him that was a bonus---he even was going through his closet the other day, tossing stuff--i think that is partly God and partly watching "hoarders" the other day--

i have a willing heart to do whatever God wants of me and so with that as my basis, i know i will be okay as a pastor's wife or whatever ministry our family is lead to be in---thanks for your prayers

Monday, February 6, 2012

if only it were jeans

wow--i am feeling a little overwhelmed by all of robyn's stuff----went to william and mary over the weekend--i felt kinda guilty taking her there to tour--even if she would apply and get in---where is the money------!!!--and the scholarship search is taking over her life and the preparing for sat's----to me it's like why don't they just come with college apps. when they are born--it would save a lot of time---robyn, says to be careful what i put here--so i will haha--but for me who believes in the "un-schooling" method (but don't worry she is in the "tag" program)---this theory is mainly in my head---anyway, you get where i am coming from-----where are the good old days when it wasn't all about this---

big discussion yesterday at church about the differences with planning planning saving saving and security sec-------you get the pt.----and the "give us this day our daily bread"---take no thought---we aren't promised tomorrow-----do not boast about what you will do tomorrow------

no answers once again--we are trusting God to provide the way if robyn is to go to a college of her choice----

i have to say though, i think the college prep is way out of line with my thinking---and yes okay i don't have an over abundance of money---and certainly not earthly security---but i don't think we are to look for that here--

just thought i would blow off some of the frustration i feel-----don't get me wrong--i want my daughter and all of my kids to do what makes them happy--to fulfill their dreams and i am right there rooting them on--but i also don't want to shy away from the things i feel are right to teach them and the values i believe in----i don't ever want them to conform in the wrong way to this world---to spend their life chasing the "american dream"--only to wake up and realize, they took the turnpike instead of the "road less traveled"