Thursday, May 31, 2012

summer days

today is hot but much less humidity---makes me think of all the summer days ahead, with nice anticipation--

i know most people think of the beach and pool when they remember or look forward to their next summer days of fun and relaxation---and i do too, at least the beach part-----i have never been too much for the pool setting---

but today i was reminiscing about days that bring me back to summer in full force of recollections---

when i think of one of my best days, i always go back to the time, when our family had a lady come live with us for a while---she was a wave in the navy and our church choir leader----she was alone in our city and living in a small house trailer----my mom and dad took pity on her and brought her into our home, for i think maybe a year or so--until she moved on---

i liked her at first but grew to kinda hate her as she clearly disliked me---she loved my sister martha and showed her preference in many ways, the least of which---on my sister's birthday she gave her a piece of luggage and a diamond necklace----on mine she gave me paper dolls and gave martha some too!!

but before i was so clearly jaded by her living with us and treating me like cinderella---i was very excited to have her come live with us----on a great note, she was the one who taught me the right hand on piano --i later taught myself the left hand---

i recall the day we went to her trailer to pick up her things----it was one of the hottest days of the summer and i do not think our car even had ac ---inside her trailer was hotter than the outside, since she had no air running, she had been staying with us already and this was just the packing up day----

it  was something about that trailer and trailer park----it was magical to me----a tiny kitchen tiny sofa, tiny everything---it was a child's paradise----i looked out at all of the kids, running around under the sprinklers and tossing balls and riding their scooters---it was my first experience in a place as such-

i know that some trailer parks are noisy and impoverished and if i ever had lived in one i may not be so romantic about them----but to me then and mostly now---when i daydream about summer and life in general, i often go back to that day--and quietly let it sink in--that feeling an essence to me of summer days

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

the menu "dream"

yesterday's post mentioned a dream i had about menus---well really as i remember it--it was more like something i was thinking about before i took an afternoon nap one day---suze asked me to tell about it, so here goes

i was about to entertain for something--maybe my other son dustin's (robhye--another story)birthday---anyway, like always i was thinking and planning and kinda stressing about what to serve-----

i do enjoy entertaining, although, i am not particularly social---i know---that did not make sense---but it's true--

i was wanting to have a salad, something different, something i had never heard of before---something everyone would love and comment, how they would have never thought of putting those foods together--something amazing--

it came to me---a salad of mixed greens, beets, red onion, and orange slices---with something like a fruity vinaigrette for the light dressing---

i drifted off to my nap, only to find myself, dreaming about the salad and waking and thinking more about it and so on---

i realized i wasn't going to get any sleep so i turned on the tv---it was on some channel, that was boring so i turned it on one of the cooking channels----there was paula deen's show----now i do watch cooking shows pretty often---but i had never seen this one ---she was making a salad, greens, beets, red onions, orange slices and a dressing pretty identical to the one i had in my head-----i almost stopped breathing-

now you may wonder or think---maybe i saw this before--maybe i saw a promo for it----i assure you i had never seen this or even thought of any salad like it before in my conscious mind---

i have many theories, why this happened---one is that God was just telling me, that He could reveal, Himself in all sorts of strange ways--ways that made no difference, but to simply say, hey, I will show you I can read your mind-----I am in all of the things you care about or kinda stress about----

i did not end up making the salad----

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

after the party

okay--maybe some of you would like to know what the perfect gift was----

after searching high and low---frank and i stumbled across an old adding machine---one that probably was used as a cash register in a store at one time--

i think my son colin liked it and he really liked the old oil can we got him too----

he got a really good laugh at an old restaurant ad----i had not opened it up since it was in what i thought was a sealed plastic container---when colin took it out, he opens it and says----"who the heck is that"---

seems it was just a service the restaurant had of getting ones picture taken while they were there eating---kinda funny couple----oh well, the front was neat-------

kelli liked her stuff also----she is into owls, so one of her presents were owl earrings--i was so glad, she didn't already have them---last year i gave her an owl------now this is where robyn wasn't right-----when i saw it, i told robyn i thought it looked familiar, but robyn insisted, kelli did not have this particular owl in her collection----well she did----she also liked her owl socks and even found an owl gift bag--

i cannot tell you the joy it brings me to look for gifts for people---the other day, when i wrote about my lack of things i was passionate about--i had forgotten that----one dear blogger friend, commented about one of her passions, being shopping, and i replied---oh yeah shopping!!

i love the thought process, the planning the looking for and the presentation of it all--sometimes i even go with a theme---i am not a gift card kind of giver---

back to the birthday party, memorial day celebration----i would like to share my menu with all of you----i am a menu nut---i am kinda abnormal about it---remind me to tell you a dream concerning menus, one day----any who--frank grilled hamburgers and hot dogs of course---we had chips and popcorn--note to self here---never again serve popcorn with grand-kids------i made a kinda like spaghetti pasta salad----baked beans, potato salad--mixed vegetables---cake and rainbow sherbert-----and yes those demon eggs-----that was a story in itself---but i will pass on sharing it---too dramatic-----

i wanted to have a humus tray and a pineapple with dip tray, since they are two of the birthday kids favorites--but ran out of time and money---also i don't want to set the bar too high, for the other birthday celebrations--especially since robyn's, frank's, and mine are usually just pizza-----

but it's just the getting together and watching everyone laugh and fight just a little and watching the grand-kids dance like everyone is watching that really is the important thing, and the joy i get and hopefully others do from the other trimmings, is just icing on the birthday cake--


Saturday, May 26, 2012

in search for the perfect birthday gift for colin

i am home now --after a full day of shopping for that perfect gift for my son colin---i am not sure if i found it, but if i did not, it was not for lack of trying---

we went to an old salvage place, we love---it has the coolest stuff in it and my son loves the place--only one problem---it is way over-priced----

the shop is in an old warehouse, it's just before you cross the river in our town to enter the downtown area--

there is a couple of art galleries, nearby and such----

today, we looked in one gallery---leading into the gallery, there were these chairs, they kinda looked to me like something out of the sixties---sorta like macrame---neat chairs but--i didn't love them---frank wanted to get them for colin---and they were only $12 a piece-----

we go in the gallery and i notice that nothing has a price on it but i can tell, it is way out of our affordability ---i tell frank, that if he is really wanting to purchase those, chairs, then he better get his butt out there before someone scooped that only deal up-

frank starts to go over to ask a question of the art gallery person----robyn and i decide to run out and stand around those chairs, before anyone else finds out that they are the only thing one could call a bargain for sure in that place---

once again, robyn to the rescue----"mom, these aren't $12  they are $1200"---i take my sunglasses off and put my reading glasses on---sure enough, they were indeed not $12---

i head back in the store to try and save frank the total embarrassment--only to hear, i have arrived too late, as the man is informing my husband----" they are $1200 but that is for the pair"--

isn't it funny---now i think how much i really love those chairs---they seemed way cooler at the unobtainable $1200--in comparison to the once $12 ones that i was not even sure were worth that-
we passed---

here's a link to "queenie's bequest" as some of you have requested i do-- this is only the first one-- there is 15 more entries that continue into march 2011-- just copy and paste the link below into your search bar--

Friday, May 25, 2012

just posting and thinking out-loud

i find myself up way too early--so thought i would try to post something, especially since i may be too busy the rest of the holiday weekend--

i haven't done my shopping for colin and kelli's cook-out yet---maybe tomorrow--

hmmmm i guess i am using my blog today as sort of a journal----well i hope you don't mind--

i have been wondering whether to re-post my short story "queenie's bequest"---i don't know if it is worth doing since if people really want to read it, they could go back and look for it---do people tend to do that---

plus each entry of the short story is longer than my usual posts-----also any of you bloggers that care to give me input----do you think it is wise to share the story on my blog---not just again but in general---

i am finding this writing thing a little tricky these days----i can't believe i am actually getting somewhat interested in the possibility of trying to get something published-----

i am also curious about this pinterest idea, some bloggers have been talking about--how you can advertize your blog on it----not sure how all of that works---i am on pinterest although since the az challenge, i have hardly logged on ---

someone--can't remember who---asked on their blog yesterday, "what are you passionate about"----

at one time i could have answered many different things----but i replied something like, i wasn't really passionate about anything, just my family----and that kinda made me feel weird, for just  about a minute--

then i thought---that's okay-----you don't have to lie or fake it, just be honest---nothing wrong about my passion being kinda limited at this moment in my life---

sure i enjoy writing ---but i am not sure i can say i am truly passionate about it---i mean i can leave it alone for months and not miss it-----but it does keep calling me back-

and i love my church, but i'm too old to fight my way in or out of anything these days-----not that there is much fighting---it's just that i am at the stage in my life---where i need to conserve my energy and time-----to things i feel God pushing me toward or leading me in----not to waste one more minute of the short time here, on any unnecessary useless battles or empty relationships--

haha sorry to get philosophical on ya---

you know---i do know something i could have really gotten into---and maybe still could-----having a playhouse you know small theatre---or been the principal at a performing arts school------

okay if you are still reading, i will try not to write in this journal--self-obsessed fashion, too often :)

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Memorial day days

this weekend will start the grilling and picnicking--family get-togethers and pool openings in many areas----

as we celebrate and remember our dear veterans that paid the ultimate price for our wonderful freedom-

my family certainly thinks and reflects on the true meaning of memorial day, but we also use this weekend to celebrate my son colin's birthday, and now his wife, kelli's----colin was born, almost on memorial day, as i went into labor with him on that day and he was born around 1 something the day after memorial day-

this is why i am always saying labor day when referring to memorial day----

when i first started blogging, i felt the need to mention all of my kids and grand-kids on their birthdays---it became too much, so this is not a birthday post per-say-----

i make deviled eggs, probably once a year if that---it is on this birthday of my son colin--as of course, they are one of his favs--

i am not yet committing to preparing them---we will see how things and time go-----a dish that my mother could whip up in no time, has always proved a huge challenge and dread for me---fact is, kelli made them for our Easter family dinner----i can't get her to do it because her birthday and colin's being so close, it is her party too-

a couple of years ago---i remember it well----robyn and i were making the deviled eggs, pasta salads and cakes--one for both colin and kelli----ahead of time---it was a Sunday and i was bone tired from church and just a long day---

that night robyn had made colin's yellow cake---it was in a sheet cake pan------it was ready to come out of the oven and the chocolalte batter was ready for the next pan for kelli's special cake--i was hurrying to get the pasta pan off the burner and out of the way of colin's cake pan----

while i was draining the pasta at the sink---i hear a noise that i do not recognize, it was an explosion kinda like a cross between a bomb with gun shots----i froze----only to hear robyn screaming----"i'm sorry mom, i'm sorry----

i was stunned, i couldn't figure out what had just happened--i turn around and glass is all over the kitchen, tiny shards of broken splattered cake and glass---the cake pan, which was the clear glass kind had burst into a trillion pieces at least-----

i went into emergency mode---talking in hushed tones as i tried to calm robyn and myself down---good-no one was hurt------but what in the world made the cake go kaboom---

oh no--in my hurry to remove the pasta pan, i had left the burner on---right where the cake pan was placed-

it was clearly my fault, i assured robyn----as tired as we both were---we had the most colossal clean up to do---

we managed to get it all done---both cakes were ruined and the pasta salad--too many crunchy glass pieces---

but thank the good Lord those dag gone deviled eggs had been put away---otherwise i might have gone crazy and i would not even be pondering this weekend about those devilish eggs--

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

a strange thing happened at walmart

the other day frank and i were in walmart--frank was going through the check-out line, so i decided to look at the bathing suits, for robyn---she wasn't with me----

i am causally browsing through the many suits, when up comes this young lady, probably in her late twenties--she is almost dashing towards me--"i really need some help"---

okay i think, i ask her does she mean with the bathing suits and she says yes---i look at her, kinda leery -- but am secretly a little flattered that she wants my opinion--so i start to show her ones that i think would flatter her skin tone and so on---she doesn't seem to be listening to my wonderful fashion advice, but starts pulling out, what i thought, was probably the least attractive suit they had----i tell her that yellow would look awesome on her, but she is clearly not interested----she even looked as though she might be trying to get away from me---

i look over and frank has finished checking out and looking around for me---i tell her good luck and she sorta mutters an uh huh-----

strange, so strange i think----frank and i are busy with our next stops of the day, so i forget to even mention this odd occurrence to him-

fast forward to yesterday, it came back to my mind, i start to tell robyn about it-

"hey robyn, something really strange happened to me the other day at walmart, i have been meaning to tell someone---well this lady comes up to me and wants my help with choosing a bathing suit"---

before i can continue--robyn interrupts, "mom, was it saturday, you were wearing a dark blue shirt, right--she just thought you worked there"--

now the light had just been flicked on---of course that was what it was, she thought i could help her find the right size to go with the bottoms she was holding--now that i thought of it, she did keep telling me she wore a medium--

robyn laughed until she couldn't breath---she just couldn't get that i thought the lady was wanting my advice and not just asking because she thought i was an employee--

but seriously it had not even entered my mind, that this was what was happening---

i guess the young woman, did pull back from me as i took her literally and preceded to tell her what kind of bathing suit she should get--

isn't it funny how the simplest explanations don't register sometimes--although frank and robyn say that is just with me----oh well her loss, the yellow one was definitely the best for her

Monday, May 21, 2012

the window sill

she touched the end of the window sill, wiping the dust as she did---how many times had she looked out that porthole-

the birds chirped outside, their voiced muffled against the thick glass of reflection-

she knew it was all still there, she could climb the massive oak in her dreams and pick the huge hydrangeas, spilling the water as she filled the crystal vase so carefully she tried-

the faces the hum of the conversation the company the cornbread, the rest-

in her past for sure, but equally as comfy in the shadows of  time---maybe more enjoyable yet delicate--

don't swing too high---

oh how that table would brim with delights, her tongue tingling with anticipation

she closed her eyes as a breeze rushed by----don't go grandmother--don't go uncle........

she ran her finger all the way across the sill now and gently holding  the dust and mildew under her nostril--she breathed in the past--

Sunday, May 20, 2012

dana shared a poem

i read a poem today, dana found it--and shared it and touched my soul---she saw my heart and stole the fact, that i had hidden such a part of me for so long--

i sparkled and shined as i read the poet's stir and swallowed my emotion so deep down, i thought i would float--i don't know where and i don't know when--but it will return and it may be different and it may not be good--but it will be there---standing and holding out it's arms to me and saying--i do sort of remember you---you look a little older, but your longings sound the same-

i read a poem today and it transported me back and although my feelings could betray me and it be only this instant, of renewed hope and gratitude that come of this----i still know, the poets soul is restless and it bends and tears at my being to let it be

Friday, May 18, 2012

the kreativ blogger award

 thank you gina  and julie for this award --you are both such encouraging people and i love your blogs!
Now for the rules:
1.   Thank and link back to the person who presented you with the award. 
2.   Answer the ten questions below.
3.   Share ten random facts/thoughts about yourself.
4.   Nominate seven worthy blogs for the Kreativ Blogger Award.

Ten Questions:
What is your favorite song?
taxi by harry chapin
What is your favorite dessert?
shoney's hot fudge cake.
What ticks you off?
men when they do not give a women the right away--not on the road but in a store etc.
When you're upset, what do you do?
Which is/was your favorite pet?
i cannot answer with one
Which do you prefer to wear, black or white?
hmmm this is a hard one--i guess black
What is your biggest fear?
bad things happening to my love ones
What is your attitude mostly?
What is perfection?
me winning the lottery--and knowing that everyone is okay and happy.
What is your guilty pleasure?
the housewives shows--mostly atlanta ...
Ten Random Things About Me:
1. i dye my hair
2. i hate to go barefoot
3. i hate the notebook movie
4. i love a bargain
5. i wanted my daughter's dance studio to do a kinda dance moms before the hit show
6. i used to be a fitness instructor--stop laughing
7. i love love love to buy gifts for people--don't tell me what you collect, if you don't want me to got buy you something
8. i have 31 fish tanks on fishworld on facebook--but i am not actively playing--and have no fish in the tanks now
9. i played abigail from the crucible in high school
10. i love having my feet rubbed more than my back

here are some wonderful bloggers that i am passing this award to--check them out!

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

the best of birthdays

today is my birthday--the rest of the week i am probably going to be pretty busy--especially since robyn's birthday is tomorrow!

i just missed posting and hearing from everyone--and this is not a shameless attempt to get birthday wishes!!

i would like you if you care to comment today to tell me about one of your favorite birthdays or the worse--and maybe the greatest gift you recieved--

okay surely i will tell you the greatest birthday i had was when i went into the hospital and robyn was born the next day---

but i would like to get a little materialistic on ya today and give frank a little credit--which i may have to take back, if today doesn't go too well--hahaha

on my 26th birthday, frank gave me a huge box--it was so heavy and i could not imagine what was in it----oh wait, if you are not familiar with frank and his gift giving prowess, than please refer back to the a-z challenge and look at letter "g"-----

well i opened it and still could not tell what it was, it was rounded and bronze and as i carefully took it out of the tissue paper, i started to recognize it---it was a baby's bust---

i could not believe what i was seeing---frank and i had recently visited our local art museum, which we used to do at least once a year--it is kinda my thing----back to the baby's bust----that day we had gone into the gift shop---which i love almost as much---well who am i kidding, more than the museum itself----

i had casually, i thought, commented how beautiful it was--and of course it resembled our babies---

it was a reproduction of an artist's rendition of his son------

i am still amazed how frank thought of it and made an extra trip to purchase this wonderful piece of art i had shown an interest in----and it was fifty dollars--which even today would be a lot of money for him to spend on one gift---

i still love it----and one side note that came back to me as i was writing this---when my mother saw this treasure frank had so lovingly given me, she said--"it's pretty, but don't ever get me anything like that"---we laughed and laughed

so that gift was probably the greatest tangible material gift frank ever gave me---i know, what about the spinning wheel---well that might have been, if he had thought about it on his own :)

Monday, May 14, 2012

the weekend---

okay--so as a style of blogging--you can tell how i mostly write what i know--something i am thinking about--something that has actually happened to me--or sometimes a poem---

but as i have shared with you before--this writing stuff is kinda hard for me sometimes--because there is no way i can be honest in my writings--not totally----for one thing some people would not want me to---and another---i would look bad----

okay--the truth--sorta-----

my weekend--taught me some lessons or re-taught me---again, i can't really tell you all of those lessons---but i will try to share some out-skirts of the feelings involved-

i was going to say never build something up too big in your mind--but on second thought--maybe you should--because maybe the anticipation of things, is what is the best part of most of life's little goodies anyhow--

nothing really went wrong this weekend--robyn had her testing---it was very good----she went to the prom and of course i think she looked beautiful----and then there was mother's day---i got through it-

did the lunch thing, one of my sons came by, missed him--talked to my other son---went by the graves--put the rose they gave me at lunch on my mom's grave--daddy was really sad--i was really sad---blah blah blah--

meanwhile my poor daughter and husband tried to make it a wonderful day--and i smiled and acted very well--no i really did--after all it is not about me, right---i mean that is not what they set you up for with mother's day, is it--

i suddenly feel the need to pull back from my minute of honesty and start defending myself--remember i told you how i have an issue with this--

it is not because i do not get the attention i think i deserve---it is the day is a sad one------

okay, something so sweet that happened yesterday----during church, this very sweet lady came up to me and told me she was thinking about my five angels, today---how even though she had never met them--she felt like she knew them and how hard she knew this day was for me--

i am fairly certain this dear friend does not read my blog--and by the way she has no children herself--what a selfless person she is-----it touched me deeply----no one ever speaks of my kids---it was so comforting to know, that God had put it on her heart to remember them and me-----

so back to my lessons i may have learned or been reminded of this weekend--

it is not about me---it is not about my daughter---it is not about school----it is not about church--

it is about life--and living it and not letting your mind get too wrapped up in what you want, what you expect and what you think is rightfully yours-

life will let ya know all you need to know--so just hang on and if ya can't enjoy the ride--at least don't dread it-

Thursday, May 10, 2012

prom confessions

i don't think i will be posting anything new until probably monday unless i just can't help myself!

tomorrow is robyn's testing and then the prom and then good old mother's day--i think we have already been over this haven't we--

do you want to know something else about me--and in this day and time, it is kinda embarrassing --but i have never been to a prom---you see now days---it is like the thing to do---and it's like you have missed out on one of life's moments, if you don't attend a prom at least once--

back in my day, it was not cool to go to prom--at least not in the group i hung out with---not sure what group that was---i was part of the theatre group--but i think some of those kids went--but i was on the fringe of several other groups, non of which, would have dare darkened the halls of a school prom-----it was like a rite of passage to not go------

a little history---i was in a school the last two years of high school, that had just experienced the first and second year of school busing---things were not all that calm at the school i attended--i was even beaten up once by a girl at that----it was turbulent times and racial tension was at a fevered pitch---still i wanted to be there, not really at school but in the midst of history in the making---i was given the choice of going to a private school like my brother did---but not a chance----and i wouldn't take any of it back--i think-

i have recently joined a facebook page, for alumni---i don't know too many people on the page but have reconnected with a few ---i think most all of the people on the page would have most surely been at the proms----most of the members are from years ahead of my years at school--had i been a junior and senior at another time in history---i may have several bad pictures of bad prom dresses to remember too and maybe an old corsage pressed in a book somewhere --

 i hope robyn will enjoy her prom as much as they seem to on glee and other tv shows and in many peoples distant recollections of those days for them-----i don't think i have ever really grieved the awful fact that i missed all of my proms----and you know something i have never thought of--i wonder if my mom missed me not going and not having the fun of picking out the perfect prom dress----sorry mom-----and happy mother's day to all of you---have a great weekend<3

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

it's all about me

good morning---i started searching through my old posts to find one that was more on the lighter side of life---since my last couple have been pretty heavy---most of the posts i thought of using, required other readings to make sense-----so i decided to just post a post about myself----

i just saw this piece on the news last night---the jest of it that i took away, was things like facebook twitter and i am assuming blogging too, are all a part of our bragging on ourselves---evidently, bragging releases things in the brain, that are pleasurable---i have never considered myself a braggart, but they say, even wanting to give your opinion, is a form of bragging--

well that stupid theory is not what my post is about, it is about me---get it hahahaha

i am known through-out my family as the wolf caller---seriously, i do a mean wolf call--

i am an adventurous cook--as far as stews, casseroles and soups, go---i will try different things with ease, and even take them somewhere on the first try-

i used to write music and sing, way back in the day and turned down a career, as i was supposed to open at one of our local concert places, for, i don't even remember the group--it was some new group, the talent agency, i worked for, represented-i guess this was kinda bragging hmmmm--that stupid theory-

i am only giving random thoughts of things about myself--they certainly do not represent any importance in their being listed or their order-

i can spot driftwood from any distance, and no matter that on second look it turns out to be dog poop--

a friend and i will one day write together, what i have always known will be a best seller--"love don't buy no tires"-

i have been known to go in a dressing room and try on a hat that was meant as a door decoration---try thinking of what you would say, when you are in the dressing room and you hear people snickering, and then you read the tag--that the hat is indeed a decoration for your front door---you exit, with something like---"i was just trying to hang it on the clothes rack in there, to see how it is going to look on my door at home"---yeah no one notices your sudden hat hair----

oh and one important thing, not really about myself, but one of the most important pieces of advice i can give one-----if you are threatening, oh i don't know, someone, like the cast of a play that is to open in a week and the actors, actually believed you, when you said they could read their parts---they not realizing it was a directors ploy to nurse them along in their confidence----

back to the great lesson---if you are leaving, get to that door first and make your dramatic exit----don't let the cast one and all (except one poor soul who wasn't fast enough)--make a mad dash and leave you in a utterly useless, director's huff--

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

big tommy

today i do not feel particularly inspired to write, but guilty if i don't-

if you are a long time reader of my blog, you may remember a blog about a boy named tim and how we have been visiting with him since 1994----his real name is tommy--we actually call him "big tommy"--since i had a baby boy named tommy when we met big tommy---

big tommy lives in a state institution--i am not sure how long he has lived there, but most of the workers believe it has been most of his life--he is in his middle forties, although he looks like a teenager----tommy is in a wheelchair and is severely disabled-

we had been volunteering with the institution since 1989--we started with a girl named jaime--she is in a much earlier blog also and her name was changed  then to "janie"----we met big tommy while visiting with jaime one day--

jaime was in the hospital one time and as we were leaving the complex, i told my husband frank, i felt we were to go in the regular unit, where jaime lived and volunteer to stroll other residents around--sing to them and just cut up and make them laugh while getting some fresh air--

to frank's surprise, the workers allowed us to do it---that was before the "hippa" law-----so we started coming every weekend to visit jaime and any others they would bring to us----big tommy was one of them-----i believe part of tommy's diagnosis is autism---but one day he purposely met my eyes, with his sky blue eyes and did a little wave---we knew at that moment, he was ours in our hearts--

forward to a few more years maybe ten or so--the hippa law came---that law may have done some good in some situations, but not where we volunteer----most all of the residents have no family involved and no one hardly ever has a visitor---so it was they who were punished, as they could not speak up and tell anyone, that they would like us to keep visiting---

fortunately, big tommy's mother, who no one had ever met and never had come to visit tommy, signed for us to still be able to visit tommy--

this past Sunday we went to see tommy--we were informed that they were being shut down, due to state budget cuts, by the governor---they thought we had heard--we had not---they told us, that the next time we visited, tommy may not be there--that other residents were already place else where---

as i understand it, all residents are trying to be placed in their county of birth---now don't misunderstand--i think that would have been wonderful if they had done that with each one in the beginning---but most of the resident's only family, has been the workers at the institution----

we are hoping big tommy's mother will be asked to sign for us to know where he will be--otherwise, we will lose contact with him forever potentially and that is too sad a thought for us at this time--

i believe big tommy lives in the moment and i know he will adjust, but something better has to be done with our disabled and mentally challenged population-----

by the grace of God i kept all of my angels at home with me---but for many reasons, one of which, people cannot get any help sometimes, if they keep their love ones at home---people are choosing to institutionalize their family-----i make no judgement except please please, just make a visit now and then---

so today's post is another sad one, and for that i ask you to forgive me---i just had to share this, in hopes that, someone might read it and know something to do---in the mean time, could i ask you to pray for big tommy and all of the other residents and workers at southside va. training center--thank you <3

Monday, May 7, 2012

reflections-a to z challenge 2012

 when my daughter-in-law  the writer and fellow blogger told me about the a-z challenge, i wasn't sure i wanted to do it--after all, sure i have always considered myself a writer--but hardly anyone else did---that has never deterred me too much though---so i said okay, it sounds kinda fun-----

and it was-i found myself looking forward to each day, especially the comments and feedback, which i am not used to getting--it was intoxicating and pushed me on--as a writer who rarely writes anymore unless inspired and tormented until i do, i knew it would certainly be a challenge for me to write every day---but then again i knew that just the thought that i was suppose to write every day, did inspire me in itself to write-

at first until probably letter p i wrote each day--then as i had times i would not be home during the writing week, i got smart and wrote ahead---although, for me that made me feel a little weaker and kind of a cheater---not that there is anything wrong with writing ahead, it was just me haha--

the challenge left me with a much larger following than my little wonderful 8 followers--i am so thankful for each and everyone--

this challenge gave me a much larger respect for all of the struggling writers out there---as i am lazy and am not actively looking to be published------

i have since followed so many new blogs, all of which have been such a blessing and i look forward almost everyday, to check them out and see if they have posted for the day--

sometimes i don't comment though, if i feel like i don't know what is going on out there--as i am learning so much about the writer and blogging world-

i thank each and everyone that created this wonderful blog challenge and look forward to joining you again in april 2013

happy writing to you all<3


Friday, May 4, 2012

He will destroy death forever. Isaiah 25:8

(this is re-posted from two years ago-- and as i was looking for something this morning-- seeing this post again made me know i needed to share it again-- this little boy has never been found-- his name is kyron horman-- i'm assuming God had me post this again for prayers)

on facebook i usually put up a bible verse from an old devotional by Max Lucado- most all of the time i go by the days date- as i did today june 21--

right before i went to put my verse up this is what happened-

i was watching a report about a 7 yr old boy who has been missing for 2 weeks- i have heard about this little boy all along- you probably have also- he disappeared from his school-

each time i hear of the story i stop and of course pray for him to be found-
today with so much time passing- i begin to think he is most likely dead--but as i prayed i begin to cry ( i believe in the Spirit) i asked God to let the family find their little boy no matter what had happened to him--

i suddenly felt that God was reminding me that He could do anything He wanted and change anything He wanted--
i begin to pray-"God you know just where this child is and even if he is dead, even if someone has mutilated his little body- You can put him back like he was and make it as if it never happened--why you can raise from the dead of course"

i cried as i was being touched by the Holy Spirit to continue to pray- i felt this awesome power as i have felt from time to time-

a friend today had put up a verse the one about not letting ourselves be conformed to this world--everything was coming together--God was telling me to let Him strengthen my faith--

of course the devil was saying to me--okay well why didn't your God heal your little children-why doesn't He command that they be brought up out of the graves they are in--

i knew that i don't have to have all the answers are even any- i just needed to ask in faith what God was telling me to ask at this time in my life-and to believe for this young boy that it was still possible for God to bring a miracle to this family-

i think most all christians know this but sometimes i forget what kind of God i have--i believe that there are angels all around that we can't see and i believe that God is hoping each day that we will allow Him to give us the faith to see miracles--
they don't have to be a certain kind of miracle- just to know that God is in control and that to us good or bad, nothing happens without God allowing it--

so when i read today's verse and how the commentary also talked about a boy being called back to life -i knew that God was telling me to keep praying and believing-that He was right there beside me and He could do anything in His plan and even change His mind if that is what He wanted to do--and also that death was not to be feared but to trust Him--and not to think He doesn't know the pain of these parents or any other parent here on earth who is experiencing great pain and loss--

i pray for this dear little boy to be reunited with his family-and if this is not what God chooses to do, i pray for God to give them a great faith and the great Comforter<3

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

okay so this is how i got her back

okay this is how i got her back

if you are a follower of my blog, you may remember my story for the letter “w”---

after that blog, i had many comments wanting to know how i got my sister back, from the washing machine incident----now i will tell you a couple of the ways--

first i must confess, there was some tension already in place, as i- believe it or not-was not the perfect little sister, all of the time---

one little offense has stayed with my mean old sister for years—why, she brings it up every time we are together, if there is birthday cake--

you see as a child, everyone always had the lovely birthday cakes with the beautiful icing roses---well everybody knows, you just go ahead and eat them---but not my fastidious sister, no she saved hers----

once when she wasn't home, those delicious roses called to me from her room inside the little jewelry box, inside the tiny cardboard box, where she thought she hid them so cleverly----well this is pretty predictable---they were not even that good tasting any longer---as a matter of fact, i had to choke them down-----

as i recall, she pretty much choked me that evening----

back to the wmi, as it will be referred to from now on, because i am lazy----

well i thought and thought, for what seemed like months, as to what hideous thing i might repay my dear sister with---i had it, but could i pull it off----oh boy did i-

there she was, all prettied up waiting for her handsome date---i think it may have been their first date—that is what i choose to remember------well she steps out of the front door—giggling as he held the door for her--- blushing slightly as he helped her with her all too preppy" tally ho" sweater--

and there i was, she looked across the porch at me, with a look, like---yes i am lovely am i not and don't you just wish you were me--

that look was all it took—any reluctance on my part, to do the horrid deed i was about to do, left me in that instant--

i pulled up the garden hose and blasted her until she dripped, just like i had that fateful day in my adorable candy striper uniform-----dripped she did, in front of her stunned boyfriend-----

i don't really have a clear memory of what happened next---i may have blacked out—-as i remember it, she did end up going on her precious date-----but i had won—--and no matter what awful, life-threatening thing she could do to me, --nothing could  dampen my warrior's win!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

after the challenge, the challenge of may

hey hey hey----yep i am sitting here writing--the day after the a-z challenge---not really knowing what i want to say but knowing i want to write---hmmmm maybe that challenge did do what it was probably intended to do--

i am kinda stressing about the month of may--now i know, hold your excitement---

i think may may be my busiest month, right there after good old december---

first there is mother's day----now let me es-pound on my feelings a little on mother's day----I HATE IT!

sorry, just had to get that out-----now don't hate me or decide i have lost my mind-----i will share, some, not all of my deep reasons i hate it------

as an adult my first memories are of being pregnant with what would become shortly there after mother's day, a miscarriage----

then there was the mother's day my baby was still in the nicu-

there was one mother's day that it's  memory  i cannot share now---

but these and many more are some of  the reasons, i do not care at all for mother's day-----and this one will be the first one without my dear mother--

i am not a downer type of person, so i will get to the other may business ---- robyn's GOLDEN birthday, my son colin's birthday and my daughter-in-law kelli's, and my youngest grand-daughter's second birthday this may---

there is also robyn's end of year testing for homeschool, and her prom------

all of this takes time and lots of money----any of these family members reading this-----don't be offended---if you know me, you know that if there is one thing i like to do, it's buy gifts for people-----i am just ranting today----and trying to keep up my blogging-----some people actually think i am serious about all i blog about----

gotta go for now and start a list for the week----i love lists and checking the things i have accomplished off---

i had a really funny thing i was ending this blog with--but in order to not upset anyone, i have decided not to share it---see that is what holds me back from being a serious writer, i cannot be honest-------and i am not fond of writing fiction----

 hey i forgot one thing about the month of may----my birthday