just thinking out loud

today i am mulling over the idea of past experiences and expectations of present time things and the relationship that memory and nostalgia has with our feelings about life

i know this is sort of a broad subject

sometimes having some knowledge of what something will be like can help us relax and have an amount of confidence in our ability to succeed at the task or occasion set before us

and of course there are those lucky---probably rare people that have no fear or need of preparation---they just seem to float through existence with no desire for a road map or dress code

it's true that vivid emotions of a past situation can cloudy the chance of spontaneity and joy

but would ice-cream and other delicious bits of living be as good if there was no anticipation or longing for what you recall as pleasurable

or is there no living up to any first

a little cooking chatter

cooking stuff today---

recently my sister martha had shared with me a stir fry dish----it is very versatile but basically you use a bag of birdseye stir fry veg. mix add a bag of broccoli florets---stir fry with korean teriyaki sauce about 1/2 bottle---serve over rice---

her recipe was feeding two or three so i increased my recipe to almost double ----i also have made it with general tso's sauce---frank preferred the general tso's sauce----we really enjoy this dish and i have added chicken and beef to it---i think the chicken works better---

with the frozen vegetables it's a little difficult to get the right consistency so i may try my wok the next time-

a really good cold pasta salad i made last week was  well received-----and very simple---two bags of frozen three cheese tortellini---cook as directed to al-dente--mix with a can of fiesta corn----toss with about half a bottle of sun-dried tomato dressing----i added a little dry dill----


the other night i brought out one of my old dishes---but it's hearty and filling----
you can make your own scalloped or au gratin potatoes----i myself use any packaged potatoes---three of them for us---prepare as directed---adding extra butter and milk----canned flake ham---frozen uncooked peas----a little mustard----half of a bag of cheddar cheese and half to top it-----

oh and i almost forgot---and i wish i had a pic of this------i made what frank and i believe to be the best chili i have ever made------couple of changes----spaghetti sauce instead of my usual tomato juice---of course i still used diced tomatoes------and this i think was the real difference---along with a package of chili seasoning---i used sloppy joe seasonings-------all eaten---unlike my last post about my chili----remember

happy memorial day to all and happy cooking and grilling

just yesterday

the last couple of days the weather has made me think of summers as a child---the minute the warm breeze hits my face, it brings me back to a vivid almost painful longing---a sense of what summer represented to me----

i see my mother starting the hot car to take us on the weekly grocery trip----i was just sharing with one of my granddaughters the other day, one of these precious memories---

as we ate lunch after the recent movie trip---she sat next to me--she carefully noticed the tiny stuffed animal she had purchased from the movie house's vending machines----i suggested she name him or her rio--after the movie we had all just seen---

i told her how when i was about her age---my mom would let me spend all the pennies i could find---some i had saved and some she had donated to my stash---i would then excitedly enter those coins into the six vending machines---eagerly awaiting the treasure i would take home----to this day i get a little thrill as that coin turns

the summers of my childhood really didn't have that much going on---unlike most of my friends, we didn't belong to a pool ---although we would occasionally go to a public man made lake----to tell the truth those outings filled me with great anxiety as i pretended to love the water while secretly and with much shame couldn't wait to go home----

we did take a trip each year to the outer banks ---my dad would leave his business in the hands of his employees for three days---we would depart on a thursday and return on a Sunday----i recall with great fondness how my father would make us get up that last vacation day, dress in our church clothes and sit through the long service---my sunburned back would stick against those hard pews in the tiny wooden un-airconditioned church-

and today as it isn't even summer yet--i hold on to all those sweet visions of a simpler time and place in my past---and i trust that the days ahead will continue to call me back

let the music play

hope everyone is having a good morning or it may be evening for some of you!

i feel kinda energetic today and optimistic---which that last part is not unusual for me---

i may have unexpectedly become a little more of a morning person---actually i am fairly good until hmmm maybe 3 or 4 in the afternoon--and then not so much good for anything---

just throwing together dinner with robyn's help most times and watching a few of my intellectual tv programs---you know the housewives franchise----remember the judging thing!

wow that's two exclamation points so far---not to worry though---i will not become "punctuationly"(see i told you)correct

as i am writing this i have music playing on an easy listening station---it is influencing me--which is why i rarely have any noise around me as i write-----the instrumental strains are beckoning me to the past and the melancholy business of life---but that's okay---it feels kinda cool to let the music move me like when we dance

and since life is one great big waltz---a twirling of emotions and crescendos --i don't turn it off---no i let it speak to me---like an old friend who's letter i am rereading---

aren't our souls and hearts quite fickle----i had planned to tell you about my dinner last night---another time perhaps----"i'm always chasing rainbows" is playing