Wednesday, January 7, 2015

for James

a little over a week ago I was planning to blog after not doing so for several weeks---

I was thinking how I would do something I don't usually do---make a list of new year's resolutions---

then a week ago yesterday robyn delivered her first born son-----he had died in utero---at 29 weeks---

as many of you know-I am not a stranger to death or despair----and you may recall I am a Christian--

this has thrown me into a dark dark place----that I can't even imagine emerging from---but I try because of robyn and my other children----

softly you came and went--taking the vital part of our being-----the promise of joy never wanting to feel----only echoed life's laughing emptiness--
all the plans  and images of a time in the distant future---stolen and trashed like a punished crime---no one had reported

I stood at the side and witnessed-although I couldn't tell you what I saw---or could speak any truth---for it is unwanted---unacceptable to let one's self drown for too long----the crowds on the shore would not stand for that---they would surely need the lifeline for the next big thing-----

so let me take it in---your face--your pitiful perfect body----know I would take your place---know I will never forget you


  1. I'm so sorry for your loss.

  2. I am so sorry to hear of your loss, my sincere condolences to you all.

  3. Dear Lynn,

    I gasped, and held my breath as I read this piece. My heart aches for you, for your daughter, and for the little unborn soul.
    I hold you all tightly in my prayers.

    Sincerely, Jenny

  4. Deepest sympathy for you, Robyn and the little one that wasn't allowed a chance at life. Thoughts and prayers.

  5. Words fail me. I am so sorry for the loss you all have experienced.

  6. I am so sorry; how heavy your hearts! Thank you for telling us, and not hiding far away in grief. Love, Joanne

  7. Oh, Lynn, I'm so sorry. Love your tribute to him. So beautiful.

  8. I'm so sorry for your family's loss. My have my deepest sympathy.

  9. I fully understand Lynn, our third child was stillborn. We were then blessed with twins.

  10. Thank you/ wow that was a blessing!