carter, mary and t

i find myself here at the computer starting to write about carter -mary - and t's birthdays-carter and mary's have already been- t's is today--i kinda wish i had not started writing on the kids and grand-kids bdays--

carter mary and t are in heaven now, so it's not like the happiest thing to write about for me-

i really am not writing this for anyone to read- so why post it here- i feel bad that i would leave them out- i have already written about carter on his death date-

as of this day i will not hold myself to any promise to write about them on special days- because sometimes i just can't-

i don't want to talk here, about what they were like- it seems to trivialize their existence -

it is one thing to talk about them but to write about them--i just don't have the words that i think would be good enough-

i loved them and of course i miss them- they for sure changed my life --a part of me still wonders if they were real angels-i hope and believe i will see them again one day-