Monday, May 14, 2012

the weekend---

okay--so as a style of blogging--you can tell how i mostly write what i know--something i am thinking about--something that has actually happened to me--or sometimes a poem---

but as i have shared with you before--this writing stuff is kinda hard for me sometimes--because there is no way i can be honest in my writings--not totally----for one thing some people would not want me to---and another---i would look bad----

okay--the truth--sorta-----

my weekend--taught me some lessons or re-taught me---again, i can't really tell you all of those lessons---but i will try to share some out-skirts of the feelings involved-

i was going to say never build something up too big in your mind--but on second thought--maybe you should--because maybe the anticipation of things, is what is the best part of most of life's little goodies anyhow--

nothing really went wrong this weekend--robyn had her testing---it was very good----she went to the prom and of course i think she looked beautiful----and then there was mother's day---i got through it-

did the lunch thing, one of my sons came by, missed him--talked to my other son---went by the graves--put the rose they gave me at lunch on my mom's grave--daddy was really sad--i was really sad---blah blah blah--

meanwhile my poor daughter and husband tried to make it a wonderful day--and i smiled and acted very well--no i really did--after all it is not about me, right---i mean that is not what they set you up for with mother's day, is it--

i suddenly feel the need to pull back from my minute of honesty and start defending myself--remember i told you how i have an issue with this--

it is not because i do not get the attention i think i deserve---it is the day is a sad one------

okay, something so sweet that happened yesterday----during church, this very sweet lady came up to me and told me she was thinking about my five angels, today---how even though she had never met them--she felt like she knew them and how hard she knew this day was for me--

i am fairly certain this dear friend does not read my blog--and by the way she has no children herself--what a selfless person she is-----it touched me deeply----no one ever speaks of my kids---it was so comforting to know, that God had put it on her heart to remember them and me-----

so back to my lessons i may have learned or been reminded of this weekend--

it is not about me---it is not about my daughter---it is not about school----it is not about church--

it is about life--and living it and not letting your mind get too wrapped up in what you want, what you expect and what you think is rightfully yours-

life will let ya know all you need to know--so just hang on and if ya can't enjoy the ride--at least don't dread it-







83 comments:

  1. it is about life--and living it and not letting your mind get too wrapped up in what you want, what you expect and what you think is rightfully yours-

    Thanks for sharing that lesson!

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  2. If all we get are your thoughts, Lynn, you do have some good ones to share.

    We decided to play down both 'parents' day this year as our younger daughter has four of the family to shop for in June. Her birthday is later in the year.

    Some of these Hallmark Days lead us to expect adoration, when we sometimes feel like it's done because it's expected.

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    1. are not even done at all--haha---thanks so much d.g.:)

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  3. Such important life lessons! Thank you for sharing, Lynn. :)

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  4. Lovely posting. I love reading your postings, they are truly heartfelt. You should get a little Journal and all of those things you feel you can't say, just say it to your journal. It would certainly be a best seller. :)

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    1. haha--that is a sweet thing to say!---although if someone found it after i died--i would still worry that i had hurt someone!

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  5. 'i was going to say never build something up too big in your mind--but on second thought--maybe you should--because maybe the anticipation of things, is what is the best part of most of life's little goodies anyhow--'

    Brilliant. I really like this.

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    1. haha--yeah if this is true--it is kinda sad--thanks suze!!

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  6. Sometimes you get past caring how you appear to others and what they may think. It is what is in your own mind that counts.

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    1. i know this as a writer--but can't get past it as a mom--wife--daughter and on and on--thanks!

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  7. You've said it very well, Lynn. It's enough to enjoy the moment and live it to its fullest. Here's a wonderful week ahead with all kinds of great moments to savor as they come.

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    1. thanks so much and i hope you have a week full of wonderful surprises!

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  8. Really nice post, Lynn. You have such a great outlook on things . . . a lesson I need to learn :)

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    1. awww i wish that were true, thanks judy!

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  9. Robyn looked beautiful in her prom dress, and I love the picture with you and her together. So nice!

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  10. I'm sorry for the hard day.. :( I know this is a really hard one for women who have lost babies. My prayers are with you...

    Your daughter looked beautiful, btw...

    Jo
    In Which We Start Anew

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  11. Your daughter looked beautiful. I'm sorry you had a rough Mother's day. And you're right about life's lesson.

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  12. You already know how I feel about M.D. This was wonderful. I try to enjoy the ride even when I dread it. BTW - beautiful daughter.

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    1. okay yeah--then yes you do understand!! thanks so much!!

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  13. Beautiful daughter and date!! Love her dress. I am so sorry; I didn't know of your previous losses; I know of several others that have had losses and how hard every day is, I would imagine Mother's Day would carry a lot of sadness associated with it too, in addition to all the other emotions of the day with not having your mom this year, etc. I think our children try to do well, to cheer us up or try to have us make the best of it, sometimes they "get it" sometimes they still need to understand life a bit more as they mature. But you got through the day......

    I hope today is pleasant!

    betty

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    1. thanks so much betty--yes i have had five children pass away --and you are so right--they do try---yep it was all about getting through---and yeah, today i feel lots better--thanks again :)

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  14. You are correct: It is about LIFE. Like you, I find Mother's Day a hard day. My fingers itched to punch in my late mother's phone number.

    In spite of me, the day was a celebration of life and family.

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    1. oh i know the feeling about still thinking about calling my mom--sorry if you had a hard day too susan

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  15. I'm sorry that you've had so much loss in your life. You have a wonderful outlook, and it is so important to let out your feelings before you explode. Your daughter is beautiful, and I hope she had a wonderful prom! Julie

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    1. thank you so much julie--i know, it's so important to get ones feelings out and thanks, about robyn, she did have a pretty good time, i think :)

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  16. Your daughter is stunning! These special days can be so bloody hard. I'm glad you made it through. *hugs*

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    1. awww thanks---yes we make it though--hugging back--thanks jemi:)

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  17. It must be hard for you, not to dread, sometimes, Lynn; grief isn't something that gets better, I think, we just learn to adjust, to live with it. That you still look for positive lessons, that makes you a good person and a great mum- a heroic mum!
    Robyn looked radiant in her dress, ready to follow your example :-)

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    1. oh wow--what a wonderfully nice thing to say--and i agree with you on grief--it is lived each day--but the beauty of the mysteries of life shine through--thanks so much lily

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  18. I've often been guilty of setting myself up for disappointment because I've expected things to happen differently. It will all happen as it should and that's we should learn to be content that we were their to experience whatever happened and how it came down. Life can be full of surprises.


    Lee
    An A to Z Co-Host
    Tossing It Out

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    1. i know and that is what i try to always tell myself--yes sometimes, we are comforted to think, okay we can do this or that-and we are not too afraid, because we have the past experiences to go on--but so much of life does not come with past instructions or memories--so be ready for the surprises---i do love surprises--the good ones that is--thanks for your great insights, always!

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  19. You are so right about life and living it. Oh she does look beautiful, your daughter. A wonderful and inspiring post, thank you. :)

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    1. thanks so much cecilia--i am glad you liked it!

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  20. Dear Lynn, Firstly, let me say this, I love your style of blogging! That's what makes you, you. Unique and special! Never forget you are special, loved by me and so many others. Mother's Day can be a very sad day for so many people, for so many reasons. My mum passed away just before my 3rd birthday. It breaks my heart to have not had her in my life. I am blessed, very blessed, with one son, but I do remember what it was like before I had him. How much I yearned to be a mum. How hard it was when everybody around me was falling pregnant, and I wasn't. So I really feel for those who don't have children, but want to be a parent more than anything. My heart also cry's for those who have lost their babies. It's lovely that the lady at your church remembered your very special five angels. I'm with you, mother's day is so much more than celebrating an individual. A wonderful blog post! Thank you Lynn for sharing. GOD BLESS! Love, Kerrie (aka KC)

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    1. thank you for all of the nice things you said--you are very kind and all of your sweet comments, mean so much--that is so sad to loss your mother so young--i am sorry---i am glad you are a mom too--it sounds like you have a lot of love for others--what a wonderful gift that is for you and those in your life--thanks again and God bless you too kerrie :)

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  21. Oops, I also wanted to say I'm glad Robyn's tests came back aok, she looks gorgeous dressed up for the prom. And I love the photo of you both!!!

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    1. yeah it is always a great relief when those tests are done!! thanks so much!!

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  22. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your daughter's dress; it is so beautiful!

    You're so right about living life and not getting too wrapped up in negative things; there are way too many good things out there to get too bogged down with the bad.

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    1. yes way too many--can't let them cloud out the beauty--thanks about robyn's dress- i will tell her!!

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  23. Your daughter is lovely. I know it's hard to live in the moment and I'm glad you had people near you who care about you and understood what the day brought to you.

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    1. thanks susan--i am very fortunate and i am very grateful :)

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  24. She is beautiful. Mother's Day can be so hard for so many. I find it ironic that society needs a particular day to celebrate something that should be appreciated everyday. I recently read a post in which a mom lost her only child and found that she was no longer a mother. Which of course, is wrong. Once a mother, always a mother.

    Either way, I'm glad the day was bearable for you. ((((HUGS)))

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  25. thank you so much-- that's so sad about the mom-- she is always a mom-- my day really wasn't bad-- hugs right back to you juli:)

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  26. Beautiful daughter you have there! She takes after her mother...

    You know what? It is okay to be sad on Mother's Day. God must have had a reason for that, don't you think?

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    1. thank you--she is much sweeter than me haha--yes it is okay and you might just have a great point!

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    2. btw i am going to get my daughter to make me a google plus acct. tomorrow!

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  27. Wonderful photos. Thank you for posting them.

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  28. Lynn, your daughter is lovely, thanks for sharing your photos! Yes life is too short to worry! Enjoy and embrace the little things that are good, they tend to build up too!

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    1. you are so right--embracing them takes our energy in the positive direction, away from the negativity--thanks so much!!

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  29. Just a random hit brought me over here. I'm so glad I came. Great post on life. It's not always/ever easy. Your daughter looks beautiful.
    Denise

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    1. haha i am glad you came by!! thanks denise :)

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  30. Life is such an adventure, isn't it? Your daughter is beautiful!

    Sarah Allen
    (my creative writing blog)

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  31. Lynn: I'm glad your weekend resulted in a wonderful blessing and lessons learned. God is good.

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    1. yes He is--all of the time!! thanks luana!

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  32. Lynn, I just want to give you a great big hug. Someday, I would love to hear more about your other five children and your experiences. I know so many mothers who have lost their babies/kids. And the worst thing is people not speaking about them anymore. I am glad the woman at church approached you with her words. That alone seems like a gift.

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    1. it really was a gift--it was like she was an angel sent from God--it gave me such a spiritual feeling---yes i haven't written about my kids--except on past blogs on their birthdays and a couple of other poems i think---after my last little boy died in 2005, at 11years old--i just knew i would have to write a book about the children--but somehow i never have and can't seem to find the will to do it---it is just too much to say and nothing would seem enough--but i would love to share more with you---thanks susan and hugging ya back!<3

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  33. There was a reason that woman in church approached you...you may not know it now but there was...the photo of you and your daughter is lovely!

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    1. thank you so much tracy--and i know too, that it was from God---she is a sweet person--but i don't think she has ever spoken about my children and like i said, she had never met any of them!

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  34. Your daughter is beautiful! Hang in there... I can only imgaine how tough Mothers day must be. Hugs.

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    1. oh thank you so much and hugs back to you!

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  35. ..at least don't dread it...YES! Excellent advice! I don't know your story- but I'm so sorry that you have sadness on Mother's Day. I am not fond of sadness on any day, but especially on special days. So, I'm sending you a great big virtual hug!

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    1. thanks pam---i am receiving that big hug and sending one back!!

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  36. Those are beautiful pictures, Lynn. :)

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  37. thx for putting expectations into perspective

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  38. This post is so poignant, Lynn. I just wanted to give you a big warm hug.

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    1. awww thanks patricia--accepting big hug and sending one back!

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  39. I like your attitude! It is all about living life, and some times we have to let go of everything else.

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    1. so true--sometimes it's the only thing we can do--thanks stephen :)

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  40. you daughter is beautiful, I love her dress

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    1. oh thank you--funny thing is someone at ballroom just up and gave it to her---she loved it--i felt kinda bad, that she didn't have something new but she insisted, which she does tend to do, so i won't spend money on her---but in the end i think it was the perfect dress for her!

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  41. Lynn, just getting to know you through A-Z. I was not aware of all your losses, either. My heart aches with you. I can't imagine...what a voice you would have to share with other moms, other parents who have also lost children. Maybe when you feel called to that. You are a genuine writer, and I'm so happy to have found you. such beautiful, authentic thoughts. God bless you today and always.

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    1. oh wow what wonderful things you have said--thanks for all of your caring and sweet thoughts---i have often wondered what i was to do with all of my experiences of loss---but i haven't felt a clear leading of God--maybe it is coming---God bless you mare, for taking the time to encourage me--it is so meaningful to me<3

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    2. Lynn, if you want some silliness this weekend, visit my blog for a goofy quiz. I'm making 5 homemade gifts for winners. I think you might like one. :-) Just a little something.

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