the lock-in

good tuesday morning everyone----i thought i would share a little about my last weekend---not my last weekend, as far as i know but last weekend haha---see--this is why i am not a proffessional writer :)

the youth had their end of summer "lock-in" this past friday night---we had six youth---they really had fun---two of the youth were visitors----even at that, it amazed me how these lock-ins, bond these kids so quickly----

our pastor's wife and youth leader, ms. cindy, had told them they had to have lights out at 1am------i was sleeping with one eye open, as a couple of the girls were sneaking out into the hall, every time i nodded off-----

the girls slept in the youth room---the same room we hold our coffee house in----since the ac is messed up on one side of the floor, the boys had permission from "pastor bob" to sleep in his office-----now that's a cool pastor, right-----

he might not have liked how they were all about his big table, but all in all they were very good at keeping the nice room in tact------

after the lights out call and many hours of putting everyone back to bed, over and over---they all appeared to be asleep-----that was when it hit me---i had to scare them---hehehehe

i walked down to the boys room--frank was also in there and pretty much slept through it all-----i started scratching on the cloudy glass window panes to their room----i could hear them asking "what in the world is that"---"i'm not looking, you look"----i was finally discovered---so off to bed again------

but i still had another plan----isn't that what i am suppose to do---it's no fun if you can't scare the dickens out of one, is it---------

they were all asleep again----i crept down the hall and enter the dark and creepy empty of people room and hid behind the copy machine---this made them unable to see me, if they dared to exit their room and venture into the desolate dark dark hallway-----

i rapped on the wall ---sorta in a weird pattern---i could hear the boys and frank----"oh my gosh, what is that"----now they were up and coaxing one another to enter the horrid hallway-----i held my place---covering my mouth as they roamed up and down-----now the girls and ms. cindy were awake too-----

i got tired of crouching behind the printer-----they were not about to enter that room---so i guess they didn't think i would have either-----i exit, laughing so hard, i could hardly breath----they shook their heads in disbelief----remember a couple of them don't really know me yet-----

now it was around 4:30-----we all go back to bed----oh i forgot to tell ya---guess who slept through it all, robyn----

at a little before 5:30, the boys enter our room, turning on the lights-----ms. cindy and i decide, we might as well get up-------

thank goodness for a rainy day on saturday, where, we all caught up on our sleep a bit--

yeah i guess i still got it if i can out stay those kids--------but i bet they weren't sick the rest of the weekend----oh well ya gotta have your fun while ya can :)

robyn wants everyone to know douglas was worse and she has the video she's keeping for one day when he's running for public office:)

if only

You looked at me and saw my need, not what i was all about or seemed to be---you welcomed me into your arms of love and taught me how to love in part-----never coming to the end of it-

i wonder as i rest in you, just how this all began, and know the answers are not there for me now or even have to be

the storm is raging as i lie beneath the pelting rain and i hear your voice speak softly to me--and i am once again comforted--

to kneel beside me only breaths away, i sometimes forget you are there---but it doesn't change, simply because i doubt--or look away--

Holy One of mysteries deep, teach me how to live---like i could ride with you on your wings of love and never even have to hold on--

it's a girl

well it's over, it came and went-----

and i did not devulge the sex of the baby to my friend--not even to the baby's grandfather when he dropped by to leave the huge gift he had-- not even when he graciously gave me money to help with the shower--i took the much needed money haha but gave no baby info----not that he wasn't good at trying to make me slip up---i have known this man for over 35 years, and i think he talked to me more in that visit than in all of those years-


i think the shower turned out nice--i hope so-----i thought everything was pretty set in my mind as to what i was going to serve and so on----until

i started looking on google and youtube at actual showers---i was freaking----i  had to do more more more---

remember i told you about my sorta obsessive nature when it comes to entertaining----it came out big time--

but like i said--all in all i am happy with the way it went-----

the morning of the shower i was busy skewering cheese and veggies and thawing shrimp, when my friend calls me--the grand-mom to the baby to be-----well she wants to tell me something----i had frank answer her call and told him to just get her to tell him what she wanted---

she insists she has some news to tell me and wants to know if i have been on facebook yet---oh yeah--that's the first thing i did this morning, in between the stuffing and the chopping and assembling of tables-----i scream so she can hear---"i gotta talk to you later"------when she arrives at the shower, she proceeds to tell me how surprised she is at how i was yelling at frank--

first of all--her memory must have gone, because i tell  her i have yelled at frank many times in her presense---but i don't have time to tell her right then, that hey, i wasn't yelling at frank, i was yelling at you!

but the thing that really got me--when she arrives, frank is outside directing traffic and parking cars---(trying to look good)-----he tells me later that my friend runs up to him and says "frank, i can't believe how lynn was yelling at you, i have never heard her like that"-----okay, that's not a problem---

but you know what his answer to her was----"oh lynn gets like this all the time, she gets really stressed out"----doesn't even tell her, that i was only yelling so she could hear me-----sometimes, i just don't know about frank-----he didn't know why this should have bothered me-----although, when he reads this blog, he will sulk like a baby--------

always hard to write and keep it real-----

mom

okay so i have been feeling the pull to write for the last day or two---

today it is one year since my mom passed away and is also my parents' wedding anniversary--

last year just a week or so before she died, i was still planning an anniversary reception for my parents at our church----i had even ordered the cake, which was going to be kinda like a wedding cake---

when i started my blogging, i also started the awful thing of writing on each child's birthday and grand-child--also the death dates of my little angels----at one point i vowed to stop this painful, hard to keep up with idea-----but today i am breaking my rule and writing about my mom---

lately as you have read, i have opened myself up a little more, something i don't mind doing now and then but i don't want to always have my blog about me and my trials and tribulations---so i will share some of the things i remember about mom---trying to keep them light----because, she was very very private and reserved--

it is hard to pin point one or two memories about my mother--i mean it was more that she was just there---i always knew i could talk to her about anything and even if she thought i was completely wrong, she was still on my side------

she was about the under-dog and showed great patience with people's faults, especially boys and men----to be truthful, she kinda thought women were out to get men----haha

i remember how she sang--at church and around the house, how she would shuffle her feet around and try to sound bluesy as she belted out certain classics---

i so fondly remember when i was a teenager, coming home almost every other day to find some darling out-fit for me----she loved to buy clothes for me---she was over weight most of her adult life and i think she got a kick out of dressing me instead of the dreaded shopping for clothes trips for herself-----i so understand that now that i am not the cutesy tiny thing i once was haha---i have told robyn that she is my doll i am dressing---kinda like paper dolls---

a memory that is so vivid to me was no big deal really---when mcdonald's first came out with the chef salads, my mom and i stopped to get one---we ate it in the car---i can still see her as she ate her's and hear her saying "these are the best things"-----we ate in the car a lot as kids, it was the thing to do---my dad was just relating yesterday, how my mother would dress us up like we were going to church, just to go to the "hot shoppe" or "shoney's" only to sit at the curb service ----i am sure that is why i have always been fond of eating in the car, which took a long time for frank to tolerate---

i may have shared this with you before--but i guess i would have to say, one of my best days as a child--when my mom was the best and coolest mom in the neighborhood---it was when she gave a full blown birthday party for my troll doll---cook-out, and movies for all my friends with their troll doll too---

we all miss mom so much, and can still hear her saying some of the things she was noted for saying----so thanks mom--anytime i feel inadequate or scared, i will think of your great words of wisdom--"it's good enough for those people" and "that's nice but don't get me anything like that"

lastly i leave you with the last song my mom and i sang together---it's a little twist on her woman blaming :)

                

a heavy heart

i have been avoiding writing this week----

something and someone has been heavy on my heart and mind----i will not share the particulars here---but i may share some of the feelings---

i wanted to keep my blog light, but life isn't always light, so unless i wait it out, i would not be writing for a while---

i have told you before that i believe in miracles--and i believe we are all given a purpose in being on this planet---sometimes that faith gets a little challenged, but stronger--

moms are a unique breed, we bleed not only when our kids are hurting but when others children are hurting as well---

i continue to write this blog, with no idea of what to say--maybe you are thinking, well why don't you just not write---maybe i shouldn't--

one thing i can say, is i have felt the presence of the Holy Spirit, most when in the deepest darkness and despair----i have known the comfort of His standing in front of me, lighting the way---even if i do not see the light, i know He is light, and in Him is no darkness--

i rejoice with those that rejoice, and i am to suffer with those who suffer----i simply want to do more--

sometimes we cannot understand, more times than not, we do not see the reasons, but we trust, that "nothing can separate us from the love that is in Christ Jesus"---

i only really know that the heart is a living breathing organ, capable of joy, peace, and utter pain----

our hope is in His hands and in His time-----my prayer is for in our weakness, we will be strong and in our darkness we will know that the light surrounds us and shines on us and through us---that He is the "author and finisher of our faith"---and when we see what He sees it will be knowledge--so until then we hope--

love today

love someone today that needs it--touch someone today and let them know you are there

call that someone you've been meaning to, pray for that person that's been on your mind--

you will never regret one word spoken in love or comfort--

give and give until you can't----always always forgive, as your heavenly Father forgives you--

do not take any mercy for granted--or think that your mercy is wasted--no your mercy is like an ointment for your soul----you give it out of compassion, but it heals you--

love today, love tomorrow and live as though your next breath is a precious jewel---

unconditional love is all that matters in the end and our hearts can never truly mend until we do-