calmly echoing now, the wind breathed a breath, like it could be it's last----she waited
the sky, was peppered with color---colors she didn't recognize----but they were stunning
should she step out into this lush paradise------was it a trap
her feet sunk into the soft, almost spongy grass like covering
she smelled something enticing yet frightening---what was the memory it brought screaming back to her senses
was this her sanctuary or maybe her punishment
after all, how long could one be content in only glorious surroundings----she was ready to discover
the hanging vines held the most perfect fruit she had ever laid eyes on and she knew she could not resist any longer
velvety juices ran down her hungry throat, as she swallowed for the final time
Love this, Lynn. I felt like I was there. Is it about Eve? It's a beautiful rendition.
ReplyDeleteyou know, i am not sure jackie--i think it kinda is ;)
DeleteI like that you're not sure.
Deletehaha--thanks suze ;)
DeleteNice, Lynn! Very evocative. ☺
ReplyDeletethanks so much dana :)
DeleteI truly loved this. I always enjoy my visits here Lynn.
ReplyDeleteso nice to hear--thanks so much :)
DeleteYou're quite welcome and I look forward to your next post :)
DeleteWow, I envy people who can really write (like you).
ReplyDeleteyou keep saying stuff like this and i just might think about believing it- haha thanks so much judy---and no need to envy---you are a writer!!!
DeleteWow, I love this.
ReplyDeleteawww i'm so glad you did! thanks teresa :)
DeleteHi Lynn,
ReplyDeleteIts good to be here,
I am here via this year's A to Z Blog Challenge Pages,
I have notice that you are on board this year too,
Waiting to hear and read about your posts at a to z
The post is really good and a well rendered one
I like it, By the way this years A to Z challenge is fast approaching,
Hope you are working on it, good number of posts are aired at a to z pages as well as co hosters and other participants pages
PS:
I have noticed one thing that, since you registered your name for the challenge, you need to project the a to z badge at your pages and i noticed the last years badge at your page, i think its better to embedd this years badge too, you can collect the html code from the pages of a to z
pl. embed the code at your side bar of the page,
keep blogging
Good Wishes
Keep in touch
I am
Phil @ Philipscom
An ambassador to A to Z Challenge @ Tina's Life is Good
And My Bio-blog
thanks so much phil and i will put that badge up--thanks for the reminder :)
DeleteRather a surprise ending. Did she swallow the last bit of fruit, or her final swallow.
ReplyDeletehmmm i don't want to say--but one of your choices i had not thought would confuse--but as you ask the question, i see how obvious it is to think of either! thanks joanne :)
DeleteVery descriptive writing! Is this the story of Eve and the forbidden fruit?
ReplyDeletei have to admit, the thought occurred to me about eve as i was writing--thanks sherry :)
DeleteI could just feel her internal struggle. Very descriptive. Lovely!
ReplyDeletei am glad you liked it! thank you theresa :)
DeleteBeautiful and intense.
ReplyDeletewhy thank you christine!!
DeleteYour writing is so beautiful :)
ReplyDeletethat means a lot--thank you!!
DeleteSuch a wonderful expression of paradise, and then the taste of forbidden fruit. Lovely.
ReplyDeletei appreciate that so much susan!:)
DeleteI wondered too if it was about Eve, or definitely someone that was doing something maybe they shouldn't be?
ReplyDeletebetty
haha she probably was betty--and i am still not sure if it was about eve, really :)
Deletelove poetry - you are awesome!
ReplyDeletei really adore it too! thanks so much!!
Deletethats a juicy write up...
ReplyDeletethanks deeps!!
DeleteGood night, Lynn! Put these together in a book please--your talent always blows me away and I always want to read more. And that confusion between sanctuary and punishment is so gorgeously relatable...thank you.
ReplyDeletewow thanks meredith---you really inspire me to keep on---i really do doubt my talent, plus i am lazy--so thanks again for the great pep talk!:)
DeleteStopped by to read this again today. May I send this out on Twitter Lynn?
ReplyDeleteoh i would love that---thanks :)
DeleteShe reminds me of a 60's 'beatchick' I once knew.I can still picture her running through the grassy meadow with a blanket of wild flowers.
ReplyDeleteseriously! how fun---fun times i bet :)
DeleteThis is absolutely gorgeous, I'm a new fan x
ReplyDeleteoh, thank you so much and i am so happy to have you!!
DeleteSounds like Eden to me! Beautifully written.
ReplyDelete:) thanks lee!
ReplyDeleteHey Lynn, could be the beginning of a story, great imagery, it really pulls the reader in.
ReplyDeletewhy thank you mr. rch :)
Deletethe sky, was peppered with color -- I love how this sets the tone. I love this picture of paradise!
ReplyDeleteDamyanti
Co-host, A to Z Challenge 2013
i really appreciate that damyanti!!
Delete