Friday, March 1, 2013

part of me

i feel like writing today--so i will---i don't have any real poetry today or great ideas, just a little catch up with all of you----

if you are a reader, you certainly have been aware of my lingering in the past lately and bemoaning my lost youth---well there is plenty more of that ---but a slightly different point of view this morning

i know, to always be looking back is not the healthiest thing one can do---but i think, mine may have some other purpose---one i must admit, i am a little confused about--

as a christian, i do believe i have an enemy in this world---but sometimes, for me, it's hard to distinguish if it is my enemy trying to get me side-tracked or God trying to save me from myself or teach me a valuable lesson--

looking back over hard times, does give us new insights and perpectives---if we are honest, at least with ourselves, about those times--

often looking back, is more like experiencing a dream of sorts

part of me thinks, i may be on to a project, that will deal with some of the high-lights in the exercise in reliving my past----

yes it can be comfortable there in the shadows of our memories, but we must not peek there too long, or we will get stuck

i will let you in on a little secret----i have always wanted to make a documentary----or have a theatre group playhouse------and it's not that i think, somehow this is going to come to past or even if i want to---maybe i will just be an encourager to someone else----or just maybe, i will venture out there again and spread my jiggly wings-

that poetry collection is still floating around in my concentrated brain also-----and that might just be more my speed, to be honest----



44 comments:

  1. I hope you do work on that poetry collection. And why not do the documentary, too? If it's something you want to do, you should go for it. :)

    I look back on the past a lot, too—especially in my writing. Sometimes I think it's a good thing and sometimes I don't, but I can't seem to stop myself. I think we can learn from our mistakes as long as we keep from beating ourselves up about them (which is sometimes my tendency).

    Thanks, Lynn. I always enjoy your thought-provoking posts. Happy weekend!

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    1. thanks for the encouragement, dana----i know, it's important we don't spend time beating ourselves up!---we have lots of other people willing to do that--;)

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  2. For many of us it is a case of being our own worst enemy. Trawling up the past can be painful but it can't be ignored. I always felt I had a purpose. It seemed inconceivable I had endured so much for no reason. I have never know what the purpose was and suspect now it may have been simply to serve as a warning to others through my book. Perhaps you have a similar purpose.

    Though writing the book and reliving some traumatic times was often incredibly stressful, it acted as a form of therapy in many ways. I can finally the problems of the past behind me and move on. But I had to meet them head on first or they would have always been lurking in the background.

    I never intended publishing a book and would have laughed at anybody who said it would happen. It is an indication that whatever path we choose in life the destination is the same. We need to appreciate more the journey. I kicked, scratched and fought all the way when it would have been a lot easier to go with the flow. Up until recently I regretted it thinking how much easier life could have been.

    At the end of the day I can't say I am glad of some of my experiences but they make us who we are and the stronger for it. Peace is simply realisation and is often instantaneous. Keep plugging on Lynn. Btw you are in print http://jprambling.blogspot.co.uk/p/a-different-class.html

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    1. omgosh--i cannot tell you how much this means to me jp----i appreciate it so ---i can't wait to read your book----i am so happy for you!!!!!!!<3

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  3. Be comforted by what you know to be true.

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    1. wow---i love that suze---i have missed you!!<3

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  4. I say 'spread those wings' and see what happens. I call those yearnings, 'soul wishes'.

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  5. I wish I had the talent to write like you and so many others. I have the talent to READ, though . . . so WRITE so I can READ!

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    1. haha you are sweet and you do have the talent judy!----thanks for reading:)

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  6. I agree with everyone that you should keep striving to write that documentary or open up that playhouse. You are a very talented writer and poet, and though you can write about your past, you must look forward to the future.
    Julie

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    1. awwww that's very sweet of you to say julie---i am thinking about doing some of these dreams :)

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  7. Follow your heart, Lynn. Looking back is natural, we all do it and sometimes it can help us mould our futures. Try to take the positives to help you move towards your dreams and goals.

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    1. i totally agree---to follow one's heart, is scary but ultimately what matters most--thanks so much suzanne :)

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  8. It's only natural to reflect on the past. We are all full of woulda, coulda, shoulda's, but those thoughts push us forward to do better in our future. Starting a documentary is a wonderful goal. I do hope you will make that goal a reality some day!

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    1. it is natural--after all some people believe that in the end all time is as one---thanks so much theresa :)

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  9. My ailing dad keeps looking back, and it's hard to convince him there are blessings wherever we are in life. I, personally, look forward to the freedom of being done with this life and in heaven, where all will make sense and there is no suffering. This life is so difficult at times. And yes, make the documentary! I would like to follow that. :=)

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    1. awwww i feel for your dad and i am sure it is very hard to convince him----i know what you mean about heaven---i guess if we were too happy here, no one would want to go----haha thanks for the documentary encouragement mare :)

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  10. A documentary and/or a theatre group playhouse would be awesome!

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    1. i know---i can't tell you how many times i have planned on at least one of these happening--thanks jackie :)

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  11. I know what it's like to get stuck in memories. I think with age, I've gotten better at living in the present and enjoying than I did when I was younger. If only I listened to my elders more as a young person!

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    1. well you hit on part of what i am going through, christine---i find the older i get, the more i want to know about people in my past and those who have passed on!

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  12. I do think you should pursue the documentary, Lynn. Could be interesting how it would turn out. I look back a lot on my past, I try to see what I can learn about it rather than try to fixate on the (many) mistakes that I made and wish I could redo a lot of them. Its hard sometimes to get stuck in the past and then not move forward, if that makes sense.

    betty

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    1. it does make perfect sense!---thanks for the encouragement betty :)

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  13. You need to follow your heart and go for it! Why wouldn't you? Keep going...

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    1. you are right marie--why wouldn't i!---thanks :)

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  14. there you are ....in introspection mood
    i think it s good to go back once a while...we may come out with many creative things :)

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    1. yeah it seems i have been in that kind of mood lots lately--thanks deeps :)

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  15. Deeps took the words right out of my mouth - you really are introspective in this post. Introspection helps me in so many ways :)

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    1. i think it can be a help sometimes too---thanks so much for reading :)

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  16. If you want to make a documentary, you should do it!

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    1. i know--i am not sure i want to actually do the filming now--thanks sherry :)

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  17. Hi Lynn,

    The quote I have on my blackboard today is "Know in your heart, all things are possible.
    Do hope that you will make the documentary... good luck.

    Hope you are enjoying the weekend
    hugs
    Carolyn

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    1. that's a great one carolyn, thanks!!

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  18. When you look back into the past and get that feeling of dread, just remind yourself that you did the best you could at that time. Good luck with whatever endeavors you are growing in your mind.

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    1. that is something i have to try and remember--thanks so much cynthia :)

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  19. I'd love to write my biography with nothing left out. I'm not sure if it would be interesting enough to be dramatized, but there have been many moments of drama. I'd guess all us bloggers have the writing bug otherwise why would we do it. I'm happy enough to leave a record for future generations.
    Good luck with whatever you write and publish.

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    1. i know, at least at this time that i could not leave an honest account of my life---this is one of the things that holds me back as a writer----good luck with yours too!

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  20. I have something I'd like to accomplish that has been on my heart for years. I think many things keep me from it, but in the end it's probably me most of all. Just yesterday my hubs asked what I was so afraid of. He is the king of going after what he wants, and lives a more fearless life than I do. I'm working on it though : )

    I encourage you to try to make your dream happen.

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    1. it is wonderful, how your husband encourages you to go for it!! i really hope you do it! thanks joyce!

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  21. It definitely sounds like you're being stirred up for something to emerge. Exciting!

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    1. i do feel that way too, thanks joy :)

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    1. hmmm, i like that! thanks annmarie :)

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