oh spring

for a while now, i knew i was going to be writing about Easter and how i recall the Easters from my childhood

like most subjects, that get in my head and won't let me alone until i do something about it---this one keeps beckoning me back

to me, as Christmas would pass, my thoughts would only be about, how long i had to endure until any true happiness appeared--until the next Christmas--

that is until it got to be around springtime---

when my imagination was in full swing again and hope was on the horizon---just about Easter time

now as i share this brief grasp to those days, i find that part of me, that holds me back as a writer--
that part that wants to apologize for not making this blog about the true meaning of Easter--

and as i sneaked that half-hearted sorry in----i have to tell you, i feel the emotions and eagerness, Easter has always brought to my soul, is because of the sacrifice that lead to my being able to see hope and a future-

when i look back in my mind's picture, this is what i see

myself on our swing-set----shorts and a summery top---sucking on a sucker and wearing my church patent leather shoes---the ones that would soon be my last years shoes--

for every Easter meant new shoes---beautiful shoes, maybe even yellow ones----it was all so exciting---and although we didn't get toys, like kids do now, in our Easter baskets----we were thrilled by them-

sometimes we would get baby chicks---or ducks, which we would play with on Easter morning, only to have to leave them with my grandmother, later that day---out in the country-----where we usually got a call maybe a week later, that they had been eaten by the weasels

those Easter dresses---how we marveled at how good we all looked-----

i remember one year---dresses with the wide belts, were all the rage----my sister, whose, waist was a tiny 24 inches, looked much better than me----so i stuffed mine in other places----

i don't think we had too many Easter egg hunts, like i do today for my family----but, it is something about the past Easters that i have never been able to recapture

maybe it was because i was a kid----or that i looked so good in my new clothes then------

but i tell you, i think the Easters were brighter then and hotter and full of a majesty, that is missing now----

and when i find i am wanting to relive those days, i only have to close my eyes and there i am, straightening my hat, carefully putting on my white cotton gloves and pulling that belt as tight as i can--