good morning blogging friends---once again i am feeling that nudge--okay, you all know how it is---it's more than a nudge---it's more like a constant nagging, to write---even though i don't think i have anything to say, or maybe it is more honest to say--nothing i can share---that stupid old dilemma i keep coming face to face with these days----oh to be a writer of pure fiction
i started hating hearing myself, ponder the idea of writing about my less than joyful looks at life these days--although, i have to say, they are very much alive and well---alas, i push on
frank is starting over again at a new company, as his place of work, was once again sold the other day--kinda saw it coming----yesterday, i felt like a mom, with her child on the first day of school----he didn't cry or have a potty accident---so he's off to a good start------
the newlyweds are doing well and busy planning for their futures----i look at them and marvel--all the dreams and daydreams-----it all seems a little familiar----
my boys lives are very busy too----kids in school----new york trips for some----football games for both families and car problems for some----uggghhhh why can't i win the lottery----
hey you know what, i am gonna share something personnal---heck, i am old enough to do that, right and i will try to be an equal opportunity sharer, okay kids (they don't read my blog anyway--oh wait, robyn might- i will go easy on her)
i don't know if i am a good mother to my boys, one hung up on me last night and the other one---well he "de-friended" me a few months ago on facebook-----they think i am kinda like the mom on the show "everybody loves raymond"----no, all kidding aside, they love me and the reason they feel this way, is mainly my fault---my son that "de-friended" me actually did it for my own good---every time, he would post something, i was commenting and worrying ----but now, if i am bound and determined to see what he has been up to--i just go on robyn's---still have her password------and the one that hung up on me-----well i was whining about something and trying to fix a problem that is not mine to fix----although, i am "the car whisperer"-(that's another story)----hmmmm and what can i tell on robyn---she made smoothies last night and didn't share-----that little tidbit, will infuriate her---should i omit it-----naaaa,-
well that felt amazingly liberating--
We never stop worrying about our kids. And the other lesson is that we love them more than they love us. That is just the way it is. Boys are harder because they have to make their own lives as the old saying goes, "A son is your son until he takes a wife; a daughter is your daughter all your life." If you have raised them to be independent and good husbands, that is wonderful.
ReplyDeletebless you---i can say, they are very independent and wonderful husbands--yayay i'm not the worst mom after all ;)
DeleteI will say I am glad my mom wants nothing to do with a computer. She wouldn't like some things I write so I'd have to customize a lot of stuff on facebook so she couldn't see it. Than again, she wouldn't like what almost everyone posts so she wouldn't be on long.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to let kids live and learn.
haha i hear ya ruth--i cannot even imagine what my mom would have thought of facebook---although, i keep telling my dad, i think he would enjoy facebook---i have told robyn and dillon, i think they should offer a few classes at church for anyone interested in learning their way around social media----it is too darn hard sometimes :)
DeleteI am sorry that he hung up on you. I'm sure he wishes he hadn't done that. Sometimes we do things hurtful to the ones we love the most but the love between mother and son will always shine thruogh and overcome :)
ReplyDeleteawwww you are so sweet---your comment really touched me---although, i have to tell you, i am not hurt by him hanging up---i am just worried about him and his cars----and you are right--even though our sons, pull away and we are not the center of their lives (as it should be with all adult children)--the love, they know is always there :)
DeleteIt's hard for a mom to not worry, it becomes second nature while they grow up. I can always tell when I'm venturing into 'no-go' territory when they suddenly remember something they have to do.
ReplyDeleteIf they don't pull away, they don't grow. We know that, but mother-brain is hard to re-train.
my mom brain is always in over-drive---i am silent most of the time with my boys, but if they have a problem--i am like a maniac until someone solves it ;)
DeleteThat is a liberating post. You know, I've thought of unfriending my mom on FB, too. She is too into my business. The only reason I don't do it is because it would hurt her feelings. I always tell myself not to be like my mom when my boys are older. We'll see, right?
ReplyDeletehaha---it did hurt my feelings the first 10 times my son defriended me---but then i got used to it--i think this one is gonna stick---he did the right thing---i might hate to tell you susan, i am so much more like my mother as i age :)
ReplyDeleteLynn, this post was all over the place and I LOVED IT! Srsly, I really enjoyed reading this because you are so, so true, girl.
ReplyDeleteHa! We posted to each other's blogs at same time. :)
Deletehaha that's weird huh---so funny---yeah i was all over the place wasn't i! thanks for loving it suze :)
DeleteIt's not easy when they sail off and grow lives around themselves. And I have two daughters! I kept in touch with my daughters by going to lunch with them and chatting. We still do it that way.
ReplyDeletethat sounds lovely joanne--i hope robyn and i always enjoy time together, like we do now----i wish i could do that with my sons too--i don't know if you saw the movie with barbara streisand about taking a road trip with her son--i asked mine if they would do that---they got a big laugh :)
DeleteIt's so hard not to worry. Sometimes it is better to not know once they're grown and on their own.
ReplyDeleteoh, in some ways i so agree---they all try to keep me in the dark about problems as long as they can--and hey sometimes, i really appreciate that, susan :)
DeleteI feel for you. My son is seventeen and some days he needs me and other days he knows it all and I need to chill. LOL!
ReplyDeletehaha---that doesn't change about wanting us to chill, marie---they think i over-react to things---there could be some truth there ;)
DeleteMy kids don't need me, except for money, or babysitting, so don't feel like you are alone.
ReplyDeletehaha, me not having much money to spare, am needed even less---but it's okay--we all just want our kids to be happy----thanks for letting me know i am not alone ms. a ;)
DeleteGood luck to Frank in his new venture.
ReplyDeleteAs far as kids go, once they've flown the nest they're on their own and it's difficult to interfere. Free advice can soon be ignored. Compromise is a necessary requirement. Maybe the smoothies didn't turn out so good ?
wonderful advice, friend---it's just that i want to fix things, i am pretty absent until i know they have a need----haha, you know after robyn read my post--she was quick to say, they weren't very good----i will pass your well wishes to frank--thanks :)
DeleteA new job can be exciting! Best wishes on it!
ReplyDeleteIt's a very difficult thing to do, not comment on my daughter's Facebook postings. I will speak to her in private about some of it, but have to tie my fingers up sometime not type something spur of the moment. Our moms probably had it much easier NOT seeing everything their kids were up to thanks to lack of social media back then!
oh i know---my mom would probably not have let me have a facebook! thanks for the well wishes on frank's job, theresa :)
DeleteWhen I say something that irritates my grown kids, they shake their heads and say, "Oh, Mom..." I am not sure what that means.
ReplyDeletehaha, i think i kinda know what it means, unfortunately, susan ;)
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about your kids! I'm sure they love you deep in their hearts even though they may never admit it, trust me. Parents worry all the time.
ReplyDeletewww.modernworld4.blogspot.com
oh you are right, i know they love me---and if they are happy then mommy is happy, thanks gina :)
DeleteI had a good laugh at this and am so glad you seem more upbeat. A lady car whisperer? That gave me the biggest chuckle :P
ReplyDeletebest wishes
haha i love that you got, i was trying to be amusing, jp :)
DeleteWorry should be my middle name. I would be the exact same way as you! My kids are still under my roof so I have a few more years of Mom control...In a few years though it'll probably turn into "Mom patrol" Good luck! I love how you are getting around the de-friending thing!
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Joanne
oh yeah, the worry doesn't stop, til i forget i am a mother---yeah, i have learned my way around that de-friending thing pretty well, thanks for noticing, joanne ;)
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ReplyDeleteI left a comment with a wrong email, so I'm trying again! I find it's hard to move out of my son's lives as well. Daughters kind of stay close, but sons make a break of sorts. It's appropriate that they to this, but it tugs on the heart strings. My oldest son lives out of state, and I think I'm better off not being in the details there. :-) A mom is always a mom, right? Our kids won't get it until they have kids of their own.
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