Ageless

I almost sullenly start to write- like it’s some monumentous event -that will make me famous long after I’m gone- remember how I’ve shared my weird confidence about some things 

So here I go- it kinda resonates with me- ageless- but we’re not unfortunately- there is a time for each of us to say goodbye to this earthly life- 

I steal this next revelation from a woman minister I briefly heard the other day- I would give her credit but I don’t know who she is

She talked about the idea of how a 20 year old woman may be in her golden years if she only has a short time left - where as a fifty year old woman is in middle age if she’s living until let’s say 90

It gave me pause- reminding me of how our thoughts can control our lives as far as what we feel like but may have very little to do with the reality of what our life may turn out to be or how long it will last

I must admit that since my husband Frank passed away from Covid- I have felt I must not have but a couple of decades or less to hang around and ponder this pretentious stuff-

So as I contemplate how long I’ll smell the Christmas trees- how long I’ll hear John Denver and feel the yearning of my youth

I deep deep down know it’s pointless and exquisitely self indulgent- I’m still doing it-

Telling myself that April is the one time of year that this itching to be known- bubbles over into words