Tuesday, March 30, 2010

virginia ashley would have been 26

ashley died when she was 17-- it was just over a week before Christmas--

ashley was my first girl, i hadn't known what i was having, i had 2 boys so we were very happy about it- it did not take long to figure out something was very wrong--and so it began-

many years of believing God would heal her and i do believe He answered my prayers- just not the way i had thought it would be-

she was so beautiful and sweet-

she loved to laugh the first 5 or 6 years of her life--then later not so much-

i definitely had plans for her that didn't come true, but i always struggled with the idea of not wanting her to feel she was not the way i wanted her to be-but if any child is sick i know any parent would pray for healing- it was just not easy to come to terms with the dreams i had to let go and maybe she did--i still feel guilty to say at all that i didn't want her to be just the way she was--if you have been reading my blogs , you know i went on to have more children who had the same thing as ashley--

it wasn't as hard with them to accept them and to not always be thinking they would be healed-- i still always prayed that they all would--

ashley i love you and want you to know you were just the way God planned for you to be, i don't know why and i didn't want it that way for you -- i hope your life wasn't too unhappy -- i love you<3

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