taxi

re-post

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i've been looking up music the last couple of days- music from my past-when i was somewhere between 15 and 21- probably my favorite was "taxi" by the late harry chapin- i have been crying as i listened to it, i'm not really sure why, but it has stirred up so many feelings -

harry died in 1981, as he was going to a world hunger benefit concert-- his song "taxi" talks about a guy who drives a taxi and this one night he picks up his last fare for the night- it is an old girlfriend- she doesn't recognize him at first- she has married up in life- he talks about she was going to be an actress and he was going to learn to fly-and she's "acting" happy inside her handsome home and he, he's flying in his taxi taking tips and getting stoned- he goes flying so high when he's stoned-

to me it has always been one of the saddest songs- a song of regret and life not turning out and dreams not fulfilled---as i was looking this song up i discovered the "sequel" to "taxi"- i listened to it - it didn't really answer things for me and i kinda wish he hadn't written it--

i too was gonna be an actress and a songwriter--life doesn't always turn out -rarely the way we see it at 15 or even 20--but sometimes there remains a part of us that hold that dream just beneath the surface of our emotions and something as simple as a song will bring it all pouring back into our souls and so it has been with my dear "taxi"- i miss you harry chapin<3

       

walking and dreaming

this is re-post from 2009-- "teddy" is big tommy-- today is his real birthday-- and also happens to be my son dustin and adrienne's wedding anniversary --

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i hope this blog doesn't depress anyone--by the way my husband says i really shouldn't use the dashes the way i do--i explained this to my readers in my first blog -so if it bugs you -you can refer to that or just ignore it--sorry.

my family was visiting today with someone we have adopted in our hearts back in 1994--he is at the same institution as "janie" lived-- we try to stroll him in his wheelchair as much as we can when we visit--he seems to enjoy this--between talking to him (he's non-verbal) and walking there is a lot of time to think--

today i was contemplating how i might start something i've always wanted to do (purposely don't want to share it) --it sounded great and "teddy" (not real name) looked approvingly as i chattered away --who knows it could work-- i went on and on about it, until teddy started grunting his annoyance at the subject now-- we walked on -- teddy often inspires me to dream--it's like--how does he seem so happy and content--he doesn't own a house, or an apartment--he doesn't even have his own room--but yet he is happy-- not all of the residents there are happy--but teddy is--

when i see teddy i'm sometimes ashamed of how discontented i can be--life's not fair and life's not easy--yet here is someone for whom nothing comes easy but he smiles and he laughs and he forgives all the little and big injustices he has had to go through --that's one of the reasons he so inspires me but it's not the main reason--i don't know what the main reason is but when i am with him, i feel it--kinda like he might be an angel--i truly believe there are angels among us, no doubt!

most of the stuff i think i'm going to do -i don't --but every once in awhile i find myself actually living out one of my daydreams--i wonder if teddy does.~

s'mores, 50th, the citadel, and george clooney

okay--another weekend post----

let's see--friday night we went to my son dustin (robhye) and my dil adrienne's house for dinner and s'mores --using their new fire-pit he made--it was a good time ---the kids played on their new swing set/playhouse dustin and adie recently put up for them----it rained some while we were there, but it didn't dampen the kids excitement about--chocolate--gooey marshmallows---and fire----

saturday was my oldest sister, ruth and her husband lewis' 50th wedding anniversary--we went by to see them---had a nice visit--and took a few pictures-----i cannot believe it has been fifty years and that i am that same little flower girl i was---all those many years ago----they had their picture in the local newspaper too--

hmmm let's see, what else----we were going to see my aunt who is in a nursing home in a town about an hour or so from us----but i was not feeling too chipper, so we put the visit off and went to church instead---

frank and i had quite a "discussion" in our class about the new book we are reading about "grace"----isn't it funny how we can get so riled up about grace of all things---it was more that i interrupted frank too many times----i think we need separate classes---

after church we had a nice lunch at the mall with one of robyn's friends and his brother----this was her male friend that prompted the long fb status and my "what is love" post----he had just returned from a week at "the citadel"-----he is the highest ranking officer in his school's jrotc--air-force---he was in his uniform yesterday as he tends to do a lot----his goal right now is to be president of the united states---and you know, i can see him achieve this goal----"are you sure you don't feel romantic about this friend, robyn"---


i have two george clooney movies we watched over the weekend--i will give you my opinion---

"the descendents"-----well i thought it had hardly anything to do with his descendents----now i am the first person to love a movie about just feelings or an introspective look at life---i found this movie, terrible---i didn't like anything about it----i thought, with the exception of the kids, the acting was horrible----i felt no empathy for any of the characters and it lacked  guts--

"the ides of march"---now this was a good movie--the acting was pretty good---a superb job by philip seymour hoffman---a couple of nice twists---a few smart messages---- my only complaint would be the ending-- not that i have to have everything tied up at the end---but maybe i just wanted more---

have a nice monday-

what is love

my daughter robyn has inspired me to write today----she had a very long commented status yesterday on facebook-- it was mostly about having a best friend that is male----but it turned into sort of a dialogue on what is love and whom should you marry---

i am going to attempt to espond on my great wealth of love---i will be speaking of the romantic kind--

robyn---i do not know whether to tell you to marry someone that loves you more or to marry someone you are head over heels about and may have an inkling that you could love him more-

i am pretty sure i would tell you to marry someone that you want to be with all the time--over girlfriends mothers or anyone---and that he feels the same--

i think i believe that opposites do indeed attract---and that a marriage without conflict---is probably not very healthy---

respect is extremely important and honesty---to a point-

i think in your life it is very possible to love more than one person---the problem would be when it is at the same time----you gotta choose--

of course you know that romantic love ebbs and flows---so don't panic when you don't feel it or don't even want it ----

being a Christian, i certainly think God has the one for you to marry and will lead you there-----

and lastly i would share with you how romantic love--can have nothing to do with sex or excitement ---passion ---attraction---

but it is too hard to explain---you will only know this as you mature and go through many deep mysteries and challenges in life's journey-----only then will you understand the true romantic beauty in this world--

reading and "dreaming again"

one of the gifts i gave frank for father's day was a book by joseph prince--"destined to reign"--i have to tell you, he loves it and i cannot put it down--i should finish it today or tomorrow---it is about the gospel of grace--

this post involves two subjects i pretty much shy away from---religion and politics-----but something has nudged me to share---

this book is teaching me so much---it is renewing my spirit and releasing condemnation-----if you are a believer or just curious---i can highly recommend this book-

okay the other part---it has to do with my "dreams"----i hope you all are not tired of hearing me talk about my dreams----and as i have some new followers---i hope i will not offend any of you or let you know too early, how crazy i sound----

first the not political re-occurring dreams------

we have been in the home we live now, since 1986----it was sort of a quick decision to move and opportunity-----

for all of these years, i have this dream where, we give up this house and move back to the last house we had---now the house we live in now is nice--but it's not like we went from a dump to a mansion and it is not that we don't like where we are and consiously long to return to the old home--

but this dream happens about every few weeks--so i had it again the other night---this time, it was just me there--

i have also just recently had a dream several times where i am bleeding--i think i may be having a misscarriage in my dream---let me assure you--to my knowledge i am not pregnant!

okay so now the maybe kinda controversial dream---not re-occurring--yet--

certainly most of us have heard of the fast and furious thing in the news and the so-called security leaks--i only mention them, to say---they could very well be why i dreamed this next dream--

i once was political but now i am very much not political------

i had a dream where one side had a major scandal---it was like when it came to the election--it was just a formality---and the side without the scandal won of course----it was revealed to me who that was----i have had one other political dream----it was more like a vision coming to me in a dream----and it turned out to come true-----

again, i hope none of this bothers anyone---but if we write---we must share ourselves as best we can---happy reading and dreaming--

the "little mannequin boy"

 "re-post"

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i think i may have mentioned my family's pizza quest--i may not have--i guess i should have looked back over my blogs--too tired --barely able to write--so i guess i will tell you about the pizza quest in case i have not.-



a few years ago we would put the kids in the car -get starbucks- play our favorite music and ride until we were hungry for dinner--we did this for years--we still do it when my husband is off on a weekend night - we used to always go on friday nights--we tried almost every pizza joint in the greater richmond area--we found our very favorite was "zorba's" greek pizza - my husband also really liked "robin inn"--but the story is not about the pizza --that's just how we came to know the little mannequin boy in carytown-



i won't reveal which store he is in- i've been trying to get them to sell it to me ever since we met him --he is probably from the 1940's or 50's --i just love him - although if i did get him , it would take a lot of time for me to look at him close ,or touch him--ya know the "doll thing"--but still i want him--i know part of it is he reminds me of one of my little angels.-



the first time my husband went into the store to inquire if we could buy him, they said no--the owner did not want to sell him at the time, but did tell my husband of a website he could go to-- .it seems there is this site where people that collect baby mannequins go to show each other how they have dressed them up etc.--my husband assured them he had no interest in this rather odd hobby--but he only wanted to rescue the little mannequin boy from a store window that was dressing him in things like"the ramones"t-shirt--we like the ramones but come on -


frank said he had the feeling they thought he was weirder than the dress up mannequin people--i don't think it's strange - the poor thing needed a good home-


every few months my husband calls to check on the situation--they talk to him in slow deliberate words--"no sir we still are not interested in selling you our mannequin"--he still tries--for me-


so if you go riding down in carytown you may start to look for our little mannequin boy----and if you do see him -take a good long look at him and see if you don't think he's the sweetest little mannequin boy you have ever laid eyes on<3

"post"--father's day

good monday morning everyone---

since i didn't post about father's day over the weekend- i thought i would blog now about our father's day weekend---hmmmm i hope mondays don't become my weekend journal---

compared to last weekend, this one was a lot more relaxing----

my sister martha had my dad down for dinner at her house---we didn't go because we weren't sure about our boys--working out a time to see frank---we saw my dad at church--robyn gave him a t-shirt that said something about a cool grand-dad-and i gave him sugar-free candy---he seemed to be tickled by the shirt and held it up, in the coffee and doughnut time for people to see!

ended up my son dustin (robhye) and his family had the stomach flu at their house--we were suppose to watch the kids for adie to go to a family wedding on saturday night--but poor thing couldn't go, and dustin was working--so no see there---i haven't yet talked to them today, but at last call--no one else had come down with it-----my son colin and his wife kelli had us over for dinner---it was really good--barbecue, baked beans, corn on the cob, potato salad and cherry cobbler with ice-cream! we got dinner, and a great show from the girls! they gave frank a devotional book--it looks like a good one-

robyn gave her dad a john mayer cd---i gave him joseph prince's new book--"destined to reign"----and we gave him a "this is what a cool grand-daddy looks like" shirt--

after church, we stopped and picked up some chinese food for lunch--frank's favorite--


over the weekend we rented three movies, which i will briefly review now haha---

"post grad"---hmmm--pretty much for robyn---the movie would be "okay" for a tv one---but all i could really think while watching it, was---poor michael keeton---wasn't he a great actor once--with great roles--

"the double"--with richard gere----this one was the "frank" pick---robyn and i were determined to hate it but.......it was actually pretty good----it reminded me of "breach"--which if you have not seen it--give it a look see---i loved that movie and it is one of the very few, i have chosen to watch more than once----but i have to say, as we watched "the double"---i couldn't get away from the fact of how much robyn's ballroom owner and teacher looks like richard gere---we knew that before--but seeing him again--we realize he looks even more like him than we thought---

"we bought a zoo"---now i have to say, i think i would like any movie that has matt damon in it---i have loved him ever since "good will hunting"--which is probably in a tie for my favorite movie--along with "with honors"-----colin and kelli had told us how much they loved this movie and how it touched them---it was very sweet---the trailers for this movie, make it seem totally different---it was much deeper and solid--

well now that i have told you way more than you probably wanted to know about our father's day weekend--i will sign off for now-----ease on into this week!

re-post of "men in trees"

~i know it's father's day but this is a re-post from a while back-- my mother passed away almost a year ago<3~
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i have shared with you about my mother----something she talks about has really got me wondering--you know i told you she seems to see things and people. which everyone says is a part of her disease--but this one thing seems about more- see what you think

for the last few months she has talked about these men (that sometimes have special suits on) walking (not climbing) in the trees in the backyard next door- she talks about how they are preparing and taking care of the animals and trying to save them- she talks about how remarkable it is , the job they are doing-

now i have to tell you that the last couple of weeks her mind has seemed to me to be much much clearer- she can carry on a conversation and just seems so much better in many ways to me--
my daughter robyn was saying today (after i got off the phone with mama and she was telling the same story about the men in trees) that she thought that maybe nana was seeing angels - that it was maybe the way God does it - like that most of us can't see them but that angels are around doing many of the things that we attribute to nature -- a very interesting thought--

i was reminded of a conversation that my husband frank and i had the other day- he was saying how it was so fascinating how God had designed things in nature- he was saying how for instance the wind- it moves the clouds , that makes rain- it cools the earth and also blows seeds around-

i asked him- if God could just do anything then why wouldn't He just say it be done- why the intricate nature system--and frank said maybe God just got tired of twitching his nose--

then we saw a sign outside of a local baptist church that said--"God couldn't be everywhere, that's why He made mother's"-- i guess they weren't thinking about the part about God being everywhere at once---

of course God could do everything all by himself--but wouldn't he have much more fun doing it with "men in trees"

"thirtysomething"

a few weeks ago i happened upon a video of the old show "thirtysomething"---it was ten shows of the first season--for only a dollar--i grabbed it---

i don't know how many of you will remember this show from the late eighties and early nineties---

it was an hour drama about thirty something year old yuppie people--

i had a love hate relationship with the show---i wouldn't miss it every week---but i wouldn't stop complaining as i watched it---about how weird they were and so unlike any thirty something people i knew---

the show centered around a man, wife and child--and their quirky photographer cousin to the lead male character michael-- his intellectual hippie good-looking best friend gary---the lead women, hope's best friend, ellen, who represented all of the career women that scared men off----then there was michael's business partner and his wife---

it was a very unique ensemble to say the least-----

i loved the way it was shot---the scenes were dark and shadowy --

watching it again after all these years has been a joy----it is even better than i recall---and the writing and direction was superb--although i do not think it would hold up to today's audiences---

it can be depressing and very introspective---but that is sometimes my kind of show---

i did notice as i have been re-watching these shows---that it is dark not only in the lighting but in the truthful way it lets you know these people---their struggles and regrets, insecurities and neuroses--

one thing i never liked about the show, was their theme music--i never thought it went with the story---but now as i sleep after viewing, i find the tune rolling around in my brain--

as i find the memories of what i was doing back in the days it was on and what i felt like during those thirty-something---early forty days-----it is a strange comfort and very bittersweet-

i hope i find other videos of this truly adult, provocative cozy heart show----i will scoop them up and drink in all of that painfully artistic magic-

      

sandy point

years ago, my oldest older sister, ruth and her family were staying at an old river house---they were taking care of it most of the summer, in exchange for the experience of living there for the summer---i think my brother in law lewis was between jobs-

It was a beautiful old house with an amazing view of the river----

during that summer, my other sister martha and my brother bland and i came to stay with them—i think it was just for the weekend----my husband and my sister's were working— my brother was not married at the time---

we played cards –rode bikes, and sun- bathed in the abundant lounging chairs—it was a beautiful days--

but night time was a different story---my sister martha, bland and i were on the ground floor—ruth and all of her family slept in the upstairs----

the first night, none of us on the first floor were able to sleep—we all bumped into one another in the kitchen---we had the "willies" about the house-

what had seemed charming by day, was dreadful at night----

martha, (who by the way if you do go back and read my story “queenie's bequest” is “ellen”) was scared, which really made bland and me freak out---she was the intellect and level headed one---

she preceded to say that she had a dream or some sort of vision, or maybe she just thought it—i really can't recall for sure----but that all of our parents' children being in this one place, wouldn't it be awful if we all died together----- she felt it was going to be  maniac who  was coming to kill us one by one--

we were terrified all night long - we had convinced ourselves that martha's "feeling"--meant something awful and horrifying was going to happen to us--especially if we dared to try and sleep----

nothing happened to any of us during our visit---

not long after that summer---we heard that house burned down to the ground--

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this post was going to be my "s" day on the challenge----but changed it----sorry i have been busy lately--but wanted to share <3

and you're reading this and laughing

i have been wanting to share this song with everyone, for some reason---i wrote it long ago --an older friend even played the guitar and recorded it many years ago---as it stands here in poem form---i have been hesitant to share it- for one thing, i hardly ever use rhyme in my poetry and this song has one bad word in it, that i do not want to take out-----

                                     and you're reading this and laughing


dreaming things that are, dreading things that aren't, holding onto words, forgetting things i saw
killing all my chances and never asking why, selling all my morals, and finding faults to buy


and you're reading this and laughing at my total lack of pride, still it's hurting you a little to see my other side


don't know when all this started, can't see when it'll end, don't really give a damn, it's the way i've always been
things get built up, to high to see the top, and trying to look over, ya find out what you're not-


and you're reading this and laughing at my total lack of pride, still it's hurting you a little to see my other side


while the sensible people, make what they wish, when it all comes out, it makes less sense than this-


and you're reading this and laughing, at my total lack of pride, still it's hurting you a little to see my other side-

just a little weekend journaling

monday morning---i just got back from maybe a record setting trip to the grocery store--

always lots of things to catch up on, when monday rolls around--

we had a pretty busy weekend----

the coffee house turned out well--we had 8 youth and 2 were new--so that is always exciting---they all seemed to have a great time----and we also had birthday cake for our "pastor bob"----

he had left the church and was coming back----frank let him leave----i don't know why----so the pastor's wife, had to call him and tell him to come back, so we could sing to him and cut the birthday cake---

i told her she should have said the church was on fire or something else to get him back, but she being very sweet and truthful, told him about the birthday cake---

which led to a kinda funny scene, which i will leave a video today of-------

we also had our youngest grandson's birthday party to attend---he turned 10!

there was ballroom for robyn and lots of church yesterday-

we had our church then robyn had her "youth on mission" meeting----there they worked on the youth calendar for the summer---an exorbitant amount of time was spent on voting and re-voting on whether to go bowling later this month or skating---bowling won out---for now--

i went by to see my sister yesterday, since her birthday is actually today---she is 10 years older than me---we made a video there of her singing a funny song my nephew had written---but i don't think i will share that just yet---

then last night robyn was invited to a youth run church service at a friend's church---it gave us some good ideas to copy!

just checking in to say hi and wishing everyone a happy productive week :) 

                                        watch the whole thing and notice the awkward moment

the coffee house-- revival

tonight our church is having "the coffee house"--otherwise known as the "lighthouse coffee house"---aptly  named so for the wonderful mural on one wall of the room it is held in---it is a lovely scene of a lighthouse ----the room is the youth room---it's filled with old comfy sofas and decorations from my attic--but kinda groovy stuff ---no lava lamps or anything as drastic as that---but just a hint here and there of another style of decorating, i left behind--

this will be the 6th coffee house we have done------this is actually a revival of sorts---back in the 70's, our church held a coffee house in an old building on the church grounds, known as the annex---the youth operated it on friday and saturday nights----it was the place to be back then---

these days it is struggling a bit, but there are glimpses of success---

we have had several kids, and young adults come to play, and sing---some, their original music----at one time we had so many people wanting to perform---we were booked until fall!

our church does not have a large youth group, so we are still working on the attendance and hoping for better participation in the future-----a couple of the coffee houses have had a rather large turn-out---due to the performers, bringing in people they know--

i can't tell you how much i love to encourage young people, or anyone really, with their talents--and this revival is partly to get youth that love the Lord together and also to motivate them in their dreams and to give them a platform for their creativity---

back in the original days, i would sing sometimes at the coffee house, with a band----i wasn't there every weekend, but when i was, it was good to be there--

this revival was my daughter, robyn's, idea, as she loves bringing back things from the past and has made it her almost mission to gather the youth together, whether they want to or not!

we hope to be having a poetry reading night soon----but i think we will forgo the bongos---

                               this is our first performer singing an original song-- she is so talented!

here  she is again-- sorry the video is so dark--

                       here is another group that performed there-- the young man on the right has his own          
                       recording and producing company-- lots of local talent:)

"franko says"---bye bye

a couple of years ago, my daughter, robyn and i made a facebook, "like" page called "franko says"--

it is a silly page that is suppose to look like it is my husband frank---but really he is not saying anything--it is just robyn and me putting up things we have heard him say or digging  at him-----

first let me tell you why we call frank franko---when my older boys, dustin(also known as rohbye) and colin were younger ---our house was the kool-aid house----or in reality, the burrito and little debbie cakes house-

their friends were always dropping by or staying and always eating us out of house and home---great times---

well all of the young men started calling frank, franko---hollering and yelling at him whenever he would drive down our street---FRANKOOOOOOOOOOOO---he loved it and actually they still do it!

anyway this fb page----

it was pretty harmless stuff---and we thought for sure--anyone who found it and liked it, would realize it was not frank speaking and just us girls poking fun of franko-----

recently it has come to our attention---(because robyn is the executor of the page and will get a notice if there is action on the franko page)------that franko has an admirer----all the way from bulgaria---she had even posted a picture of herself ----

frank was very flattered i have to say----he hardly gets on a computer unless it is to do his bible study course---which brings me to my next point--

i told robyn, that she should explain--so she put a status up on the franko page--letting anyone that thought this was the rather cool looking older man in shades on the profile speaking---that it was indeed his wife and child---only having a little fun at old dad's expense----

even after that--the lady put a private message, asking why franko was not contacting her----okay time to take the franko page down----

so we have been meaning to do just that--even though we have had lots of people tell us how funny they think it is and frank actually would ask us every once in a while---"hey has anyone else liked the franko page"------but it must go---

he had gotten quite a bit of likes from people in other countries---which really impressed old franko---

so, soon the franko page will be a distant memory--although forever still there in facebook history-

the conclusion? of the third floor dream

okay, i wasn't sure i wanted to write this---i had thought i might write a short story about it but i don't think i will--so here is maybe the conclusion to "the third floor dream"

if you did not read my "t" day from the az challenge, you will have to go back probably, if you want to truly understand this post---i am not going to recap the dream----i am including a link to that post, at the bottom of this entry--


i hadn't had the third floor dream in quite a while--a few nights ago i had it again--

this time the friend that was in the last dream i had about the house, was in this dream, along with her mother--

the house was not as grand inside as in most of my dreams---but large--the rooms had high ceilings--the house needed a lot of work---another friend came to visit during the dream also--

everyone was telling me that i did not belong in this house, that it needed too many repairs and the location was not a good one--

this time i knew where the house was located--although in reality--the street does not have this particular house or placing of  any house---it was one street over from a real main street that i am very familiar with, but the house would not have faced the road in real life--

after i had this dream, i got up and wrote down everything i could remember, knowing that a lot of details had already gone---

during the dream, i am aware the house has this magical mystical haunting terrifying third floor---but unlike so many of my dreams about this house--where i know the third floor exists but cannot find the stairs to go to it---this time doors fling open and i point up to everyone in the dream--"look there it is the third floor" and this time i actually go up and into the third floor------

as i enter there is this old lady--she says she is keeping things in order while her brother is getting treatment in a mental institution-----i tell her she should leave and that her brother can no longer stay up there---it seems although we own the house, this unknown to us resident has a sorta squatter's rights and will not be leaving--

all kinds of creepy things are happening---one friend's mother is taken up in a tunnel device on one end of the third floor----and many things i cannot recall---i am traumatized and fearful, we will not be able to stay in this house--a house that for the most part--is our dream house------

at one point frank and i go for a ride to discuss the house issue--he is still so excited about living there and wants to stay no matter what---i--knowing it is not real but a dream at this point---tell him that this is certainly a dream and not real--

the conclusion----we enter one more time the third floor---now there are creatures--similar to gnomes and trolls---and even small people kinda like children---they all come over to us --we feel a presence like a love and warmth, very hard to explain---we know at once  there is nothing to fear and that we will be staying in the house--

as i awakened from this dream---i definitely felt the dream to be prophetic---i believe it has something to do with heaven and i believe when i have this dream it can mean that someone is about to enter heaven---i will not name the person here of course--but i was fairly certain one of my friends mothers was about to pass---

i will tell you, a part of me was sorry i had solved the mystery----of the third floor----but what i assumed was over may just be a doorway -----
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http://lynnproctor.blogspot.com/2012/04/third-floor.html

facebook woes

yesterday after a long day, i peek on facebook to see if anything is going on and to write a status about my day---

there i see my son colin's bloody toe---with a caption--"never saving a chipmunk again"-----i panic-----

of course i try to call him--no answer--i call his wife kelli--no answer-----i even send a fb message---what do you think---

okay, i may be a little paranoid about wild animals or even domesticated ones, when it comes to the possibility of rabies----of course it is deadly and there has been only one reported case of rabies that has had a human survivor------

i ask robyn to google it for me and see if chipmunks do indeed carry rabies---i knew that they probably did---but was hoping-----

i start telling my husband---"okay frank, you are going to have to tell colin that this is serious"

i preceded to tell frank to let colin know that if they did not save or catch the chipmunk then colin would undoubtedly have to undergo the series of rabies shots--no question!

frank is reluctantly agreeing and kinda getting a little scared himself i think---

phone rings, it is kelli---she is laughing-----"did you think the chipmunk bit colin's toe"---

now why would i assume such a thing---a picture of his injured toe, with a statement concerning his trying to help a chipmunk---

of course i thought the dag-gone thing had bitten my baby boy----

she continues to laugh and assures me, this did not happen---it was only as colin was trying to get the little chipmunk from his cat charlie's mouth--colin hit his toe on a bike tire-----hmmmmmmm

i am not sure i believe this and i ask kelli about 6 times, is she telling me the truth---she, between laughing, tries to promise me that she is being truthful-----she even adds how colin was so mad when he kept getting notifications on his phone, where i was either commenting on the picture, sending him a fb message or calling him----she tells me he says--"is that my crazy mom again!"---

call me crazy---i would pester him again if i thought i could save him from rabies------

moral of this story---and i know, good writing does not always have to have a moral----

don't be friends with your kids on fb---it saves on a lot of unnecessary worry and misunderstandings----not that i want to take this advice---cause for me, kinda like a car wreck---i just gotta know what's going on---i hope he doesn't defriend me after this-----it won't be the first time----haha another story for another day :)

repost-- january oh january

i was just sitting on my sofa sipping my coffee when it suddenly hit me, that i wanted to write--that i thought i had something to say-- here is what i think it is (kinda)------

january is the month of dread--also the month of endless dreams, of plans that may or may not take place----it's kinda like that list that you made a while back and crumpled the paper into a tight ball, threw it in the corner and never quite came over to pick it up and toss it, because----because maybe just perhaps, you could actually accomplish some of those crazy lofty ideas you had floating around in that autumn brain of yours--ideas that quickly lost value when compared to the heavy duty of the endless holiday, Christmas season---the list that was always there for someday


and january is that someday, today---within january's dark endless days, days where all you want to do is eat waffles and sleep on the sofa and breath in and out, till the next day passes---days when you don't want to think of the junk room that is now two junk rooms or the cloudiness that lies in the sky and your weighty head-


but alas the cold air comes at you like a dare, a dare to do something, anything--to change something, to believe in something again, anything, everything, someone--

so january sits before me and beckons me on, and whispers to me--it won't always be this way-love me enjoy me, i am only thirty-one days, don't hate me---i could have been june, would that have changed me, would you dread me any less--


so i uncrumple the paper, rub the cynicism from my watery eyes and read the thought of an eager heart, that heart of autumn--and discover the heart is the same, the list still distinguishable and i go on to trust that this january too will pass but this time i will watch as it does

                              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i've been busy the last couple of days so i haven't been able to write-- been in sort of a poetry mood-- not sure how this will resonate in june:)

surrender

surrender to your problems, the solution's around the bend
unfurl your clinched hands and hold them up to heaven--if only for a moment-surrender

release your inner most struggles-choose to be free-

don't wait until that perfect day---those days have lines still waiting, nervously--

surrender to your breaths as you take in the air of redemption --as you move toward that thing in the unseen reveal--

loosen that tight hold on the thing that is not holding you in place---

and fall fall fall into that sweet moment of surrender and rest