Friday, June 22, 2012

what is love

my daughter robyn has inspired me to write today----she had a very long commented status yesterday on facebook-- it was mostly about having a best friend that is male----but it turned into sort of a dialogue on what is love and whom should you marry---

i am going to attempt to espond on my great wealth of love---i will be speaking of the romantic kind--

robyn---i do not know whether to tell you to marry someone that loves you more or to marry someone you are head over heels about and may have an inkling that you could love him more-

i am pretty sure i would tell you to marry someone that you want to be with all the time--over girlfriends mothers or anyone---and that he feels the same--

i think i believe that opposites do indeed attract---and that a marriage without conflict---is probably not very healthy---

respect is extremely important and honesty---to a point-

i think in your life it is very possible to love more than one person---the problem would be when it is at the same time----you gotta choose--

of course you know that romantic love ebbs and flows---so don't panic when you don't feel it or don't even want it ----

being a Christian, i certainly think God has the one for you to marry and will lead you there-----

and lastly i would share with you how romantic love--can have nothing to do with sex or excitement ---passion ---attraction---

but it is too hard to explain---you will only know this as you mature and go through many deep mysteries and challenges in life's journey-----only then will you understand the true romantic beauty in this world--

59 comments:

  1. It's my belief, Lynn, and my experience that a relationship based on friendship first has a better chance of surviving.

    Tough subject, and your advice about experience is solid.

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    1. it is a tough one isn't it haha----thanks d.g. :)

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  2. Lynn, that was a beautiful post and wonderful advice for your daughter.

    Have a happy weekend!

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    1. awwww thanks dana---and i hope your weekend if wonderful too :)

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  3. We are pressed and squeezed like grapes and olives. Relationships and love isn't easy. Its a lot of work, but relationships are the most important thing and worthy of the presssing and squeezing.

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    1. yes--life would not be worth living without them, stephen--well said!

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  4. Breathless...I loved reading your post and great advice. :) enjoy your weekend, Lynn.

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    1. awww thanks cecilia--you have a great weekend too :)

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  5. Great advice! When I was getting serious about marriage, I thought about how choosing this man was going to be a forever kind of choosing...was I really that into him? Oh yes! 20 years later, still am!

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    1. always great to hear! thanks michelle :)

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  6. Beautiful words for your daughter. Love is so complicated. Being through a number of relationships myself and finally finding the perfect mam at 36 years old, I know how complicated this is to explain.

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    1. i am glad you found him!! thanks val :)

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  7. Very nice post. I have been married twice. The first lasted briefly but this one has been going on for over 20 years. There is a line from a movie that I totally despise, it goes:"Love means never having to say you are sorry." That is so untrue! Love means, being ABLE to say you are sorry. Conflicts arise, compromise a necessity and respect enough to be honest with each other is very important.

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    1. i know the movie you speak of---i love that movie---and although i agree we must say we are sorry sometimes---the older i get, i may see some truth in that old cheesy line--thanks siv :)

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  8. Very nice posting. I recently had this sort of talk with my daughter who is in the early stages of planning her wedding. I was so afraid that because they have a child that they were only doing it for him and just needed some reassurance myself that it was for all the right reasons. :) Enjoyed your posting today

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    1. oh how wonderful---i love weddings and the planning---best wishes to your daughter---i am so glad you liked my post :)

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  9. I know exactly what you mean about romantic love. You needn't explain it. :)

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    1. haha i am glad because i cannot really explain it, christine:)

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  10. Wise and wonderful insights. All true. :-)

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  11. You gave great advice, getting them to take it is a whole other story.

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  12. Its all too complicated and fickle for me :-).

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  13. Lovely. There are many kinds of love and finding the right romantic one is a beautiful time!

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    1. it really can be some of the best times of life!

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  14. Well said. I hope Robyn finds a lasting love that will withstand the ups and downs of life.

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    1. from your lips to God's ears! thanks sherry :)---hey you're back!!

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  15. Very well said! Your daughter should keep this forever

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    1. awwww that's sweet, thank you heather :)

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  16. Wonderful words you gave to your daughter, Lynn. Definitely too to make it a point to only want God's best for her, no matter how long the wait and to definitely have someone with similar faith. I'm sure God will lead her to the one he has chosen for Robyn.

    betty

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    1. i so agree He will, thanks so much betty :)

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  17. All great advice.

    My best advice was to marry someone who loves you more, and then spend the rest of your days together attempting to show them otherwise.

    In the end... I married my best friend the second time around. And I think the trials we went through as friends first have made us what we are today.

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    1. awwww that is sweet juli---thanks :)

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  18. Good advice, all of it! It is hard to have a daughter and try to explain your decisions to her. Why I married your dad...what attracted me to him...etc.


    Ultimately, I narrowed the talk down to: I loved the way he laughed; and, I loved the kindness he showed to everyone. This was before he knew I was watching him.

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    1. so true, it is all of the little things that are big ones---thanks susan :)

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  19. I hope everything will work out all right for Robyn. Best wishes and happy weekend.

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  20. Very right. Trust is very important.

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    1. i really think it is--thanks rajesh:)

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  21. 'i think in your life it is very possible to love more than one person---the problem would be when it is at the same time----you gotta choose--'

    This made me smile.

    Lynn, I think this was my favorite of your posts, so far. The last few lines sounded a very deep and satisfying chord within. Very nicely done.

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    1. awwwww i'm glad you liked it suze--that means a lot to me :)

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  22. "God has the one for you to marry and will lead you there"

    Very true. If we can trust that God has preordained our relationships, it will make them that much smoother. No fretting because you aren't sure you "married the right person" - you married exactly the person that God wanted you to marry. Or fretting because you haven't "found the right person" - if it's meant to be, it's meant to be, and you will find the love that God wants you to find! :)

    Very insightful post, Lynn. I'm glad I stopped by your blog.

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    1. i couldn't agree more!! i am so happy you stopped by too! thanks lauren :)

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  23. This all sounds like good advice. Shared values is very important, as is a solid commitment to commit.


    Lee
    Wrote By Rote

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    1. a great way to put it! thanks lee :)

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  24. For being married I have learned so much and still have so much to learn. We are doing a Bible study right now on marriage and they call marriage a divine collision. Two opposites that are attracted in order for God to help us grow. Not only as a unit together but as individuals. The biggest thing is commitment and a deep love to put God first.

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    1. sounds really interesting and yes so true--thanks brownie :)

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  25. I think Robyn has a very wise mom. :)

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  26. Lynn, what a beautiful and so true writing...

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  27. Good advice! I do believe opposites attract but I also think it helps to have strong similarities in certain areas like money, raising children, etc.

    I gave yo the Booker Award on my blog today. Stop by and pick it up. :)

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    1. yes i think being together on certain key points would help too---and thank you!

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  28. Stopping by to give you the Fabulous Blog Award.

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  29. sorry, i just realized i had not corrected something on this post "dialogue"

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