i really kinda hate myself for putting up this little "disclaimer" or explanation if you will---i always told the drama group, i lead, that we never wanted to neatly tie up the skit or play or scene we were presenting--to let the viewer determine it's meaning for them---etc.------but as a blogger, we are not just handing out a book in the bookstore for total strangers, whom we will never probably meet (except at an occasional book signing)----no the blogging community is sorta like a chosen family and you put yourself out there, naked sometimes----and sorta afraid that they are always taking you literally or thinking you are in some deep depression or worse-----yes i have my dark days ---but mostly when you read something that might be disturbing, it is mainly just my creative juices flowing and sometimes it is really my fears and the like coming out---as we tend to care about each other, i find it necessary to say this today
~~~~~~
she walked around that house for hmmmm many years, she wore an old lady's housecoat most of the time
she cooked breakfast and dinner everyday and cried easily-------she left in a body bag
i can see her sulking around and being silent--oh how i wish i had mastered her art of silent fighting, i think---
once she came to my school and blessed out everybody in sight---when i had been beaten up, by a girl---
she left in a body bag-
alone she had many unhappy thoughts and with me she would often share them---she was a gentle spirit from the past, not wanting confrontation, but never shrinking away when needed---
all of her clothes were painfully purchased----she once had been thin and one day would return to thinness---as she left in a body bag
as i knew she was coming down the hallway and i would choose to view this departure or go into the den---i knew what i must do------and it wasn't on a gurney ---no they carried her--rather awkwardly-----and i thought to myself----this can't be the way it ends, this can't be the last time she leaves this house, this home--never to return---she should have on her pantsuit or her flowery Sunday dresses-----but she left in a colorless body bag---i am pretty certain---although as i watched this---i told myself, she wasn't in it---
wow; I'm glad you did the disclaimer Lynn. Powerfully written; makes you wonder why "she" was. Someone you know and love (like your mom) or again your creative juices flowing. Very profound.
ReplyDeletebetty
yeah, my mom---thanks betty---i really didn't know if i would write this---but again, it just haunted me so last night, and i knew i was to write about it--gotta admit, i still held back
DeleteYou paint such pictures with your words. They always make me think.
ReplyDeleteoh i am glad--thank you susan :)
DeleteI'm with Betty: Wow. Like Betty, as I was reading, I was wondering if you were writing about your mom. I knew it had to be someone close to you because the language is too evocative and powerful for it not to be. Wonderfully done!
ReplyDeleteyeah it was mom---thanks so much dana--means a lot :)
DeleteThat's pretty deep!
ReplyDeletejust couldn't get it out of my head--thank you sherry
DeleteThis is torturous and I know the feeling. I'm sure writing it out and sharing it helps. Many will know the feeling and sometimes, not being the only one to experience it, brings a little bit of comfort.
ReplyDeleteyeah this image came to me last night of my mom---and even though i told myself i probably shouldn't write about, it--i just had to--thanks ms. a
DeleteDeep and dark. Your words create such emotion.
ReplyDeletei am glad they can touch you---thank you christine<3
DeleteA very enjoyable picture painted with words and emotion.
ReplyDeletethank you :)
DeleteGood writing, Lynn.
ReplyDeletethanks brenda :)
DeleteHi Lynn,
ReplyDeleteYou write so well and getting this out there, will help and bring comfort I imagine.
Hugs and have a great week
Carolyn
that is very sweet of you to say carolyn, thank you
ReplyDeleteVery moving Lynn. I know it is so hard to put yourself out there as a blogger. It's hard to do it in real life too. I think a lot of people get the watered down version of me because I hold back a lot.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing some of your story. It was very well written!
i know, what you mean--i always feel like i hold back some----thanks for the encouragement theresa
DeleteI hope this wasn't painful to write but instead...therapy, because this is awesome writing, Lynn.
ReplyDeleteno it wasn't hard teresa--it just had to come out---it came to me last night and wouldn't let me not write it--thank you
Deletebet you wrote (spoke) for a lot of people...
ReplyDeletethank you annmarie
DeletePoignant post, Lynn.
ReplyDeletethanks so much :)
Deletei agree that is awesome writting...thanks so much for sharing :)
ReplyDeleteawww thanks, i appreciate that!
DeleteI appreciated the disclaimer too. The writing brought tears to my eyes. :)
ReplyDeleteawwww that touches me--thank you libby <3
DeletePowerfully emotive writing which evoked memories of my own. It does make me question my own writing much of which is borne of a painful past. Touching.
ReplyDeletehey jp! i see you aren't back yet---but good to hear from you!---thanks, i think sometimes we have to write about our past--it makes us who we are
DeleteIt won't be long Lynn, as soon as I get the copy of my book cover I will be shamelessly promoting it. It is due for release in March.
DeleteI hope to restore the blog in mid-February.
oh good, looking forward to it--i miss ya!!
DeleteLynn, that is so powerful!
ReplyDeleteSorry I've been absent lately. Tending to family matters.
awww thank you so much susan--i hope things are okay with you and your family<3
DeleteLynn, many have already said what I felt reading this piece. Powerful, very powerful.
ReplyDeletei am so glad it made you feel this way--thank you maria
DeleteHey Lynn, a stark presentation indeed but an honest look at departing, keep those juices flowing. Sorry for your loss, take care.
ReplyDeletehey rch---how's it going----thank you :)
DeleteYou took my breath away. I saw this with my mother and father. Not something I want to remember.
ReplyDeletei am sorry and comforted that you can relate to this susan <3
DeleteNot every phase of life we would love to cherish, some need to be accepted too…
ReplyDeletei agree, deeps
DeleteHi Lynn. A very well written, gripping narrative here; I think you felt a "need" to write it, probably as a cartharthis. I read it twice and it remended me of my mama.
ReplyDeleteA good post.
thanks so much for taking your time to listen anthony :)
DeleteI also had to read this twice. I was shocked the first time, and was overcome with emotion the second. This was beautifully written Lynn, and I can't even begin to imagine how difficult the experience was for you.
ReplyDeleteJulie
it was hard julie, but mostly i thought of what a way to exit this house this life--how undignified, as my mom was surely----i am touched that my piece affected you <3
Delete