Monday, January 21, 2013

will i just shut-up----not now

i don't know what i thought life would look like---glancing out at 58------not the young girl of just the other day--not the young mother of a minute ago----and not yet--as far as i know---the even older, lady of one day---

i hate self reflection for the most part-----but yet

oh well, today i am not gonna beat myself up about any of the many feelings and emotions i have stirring within me---i will just be happy that anything is stirring in me

oh youth, is it wasted on the young---isn't that what an eighty year old would say to me----there's that "everything's relative" thing again----

as i sit here at my corner of my space, i can feel the warmth of the welcome sun, but i haven't even bothered to slit the drapes--no not one little bit--

is it me that has my last child planning a wedding----who is this stranger i have become-----years ago, i would have had no patience for these kinds of questions or let alone thoughts-----oh yes i hear you, i know the time is short and i am wasting it----so be it-------maybe i am suppose to be at this place and at this junction "this" time in my journey of existence---

if you are still reading---remember my disclaimer----who knows what is real and what is an illusion---hmmmm does that remind anyone else of a song-----;)

44 comments:

  1. Yes, the song "Fine, Fine Line" from Avenue Q too. Also the wise words my sister once got in a Dove chocolate, "You are exactly where you are supposed to be." Enjoy! And maybe have a Dove. : )

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    1. haha--i don't know this song joy--i was actually thinking of another one--you are probably not old enough to remember the one haha-----i won't give it away for now--let's see if someone else knows it----you are too sweet and that dove chocolate sounds perfect---thanks for getting me :)

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  2. I feel this way too sometimes. I think no matter how old we are, we can't help but reflect on the person we used to be.

    Have a happy Monday, Lynn!

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    1. so true----thanks dana, i hope you have a blessed monday too :)

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  3. Very reflective this morning, whether fictional or fact, still reflective. I tool wonder where time has gone and how did I get to be 55.

    may today be a good one!

    betty

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    1. awww you're still a babe betty---thanks :)

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  4. You've given me even more to think about today. :) I can't believe I will be 44 in April! My son will be graduating HS in 2014. I am now trying to get my health issues under control and find myself. :) I love when people are doing what they're passionate about. I am finding it difficult to put together what I would like to do and what I actually can do.
    Hope you enjoy that warm sun and smile a lot.:)
    Marie

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    1. i am glad i could give you anything to think about---i think i am probably thinking too much these days-----yeah, that is my problem--i have no passion for anything anymore or for the moment----i hope your health issues go away! blessings to you marie <3

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  5. Okay I cheated... according to Google songs with those lyrics include Rob Thomas and the Flaming Lips. Neither of which I'm familiar. Which either makes me really old, really young, or musically challenged.

    Either way, I think we all live in a little bit of denial at how fast it all goes. On our "date" Friday, Tony and I were discussing where we should go on my 40th birthday trip.... a topic first discussed on our first date when I was 28... Seriously, where does the time go?... now we only have 21 months to save!

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    1. haha--no juli--that is not the song i am referring to either---man i must be really old----i hope someone will remember it ;)----i love it that you are still having dates--don't ever stop :)

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  6. I've been having a weird self-reflecting weekend as well. Mostly, I've come to the conclusion that I should sleep more. I really enjoy napping.

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    1. haha yeah---i sleep a lot too---it can't hurt--thanks libby :)

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  7. January kind of forces reflection upon us. We are time driven creatures. Don't sit and stew, write about it. We aren't the first nor the last to ask, 'What's it all about'? If one's brain is still active, that's what counts. (mobility helps too)

    And, our feelings ARE relative to where we are on the life-scale. So what?

    Keep talking, don't shut-up. You have my permission for what it's worth.

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  8. haha thanks d.g.---i really appreciate your take on this and it's worth a lot :)

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  9. I feel I've adapted very well to dealing with who I need to be at each stage in my life. Sometimes it takes me a while to figure it out.

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  10. DG Hudson gave you such wise advice. When I made 60 not very long ago, somehow that was liberating. Hard to explain.

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    1. wow--thank you susan--that made my day!!!:)

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  11. While I don't reflect on the past often, I do find certain events will spring open the lock on those thoughts and I will dwell on the past. Thinking that my oldest will move out in 4 short years, this past Christmas was the last for my youngest to believe in Santa, my first gray hair lol. They all remind me that time is moving quickly, so I need to appreciate every moment as it comes.

    Have a fabulous day Lynn!

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    1. you sound very wise theresa, to appreciate the moments at this young stage of your life!---thanks :)

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  12. Wonderful. I often sit alone and reflect like that. I hardly recognize myself sometimes.

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    1. yeah---i know, it's crazy--but i feel the same way--it's like--who are you, have we been introduced--haha thanks christine :)

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  13. Reflection - it's maddening and healthy at the same time. :)

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    1. i am sure that is true--at least for me jackie :)

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  14. I'm in my early 50's and have to say it's a challenging time of life. I think there is much reflection in these years because there is time to fill. Some days I enjoy that and other days I know I think too much.

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    1. i hear ya joyce---i think when we are younger we just do cause we pretty much have to---and then sometimes when we have somewhat of the luxury of time---we realize we haven't discovered what the plan is :)

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    1. you know--i really hadn't thought of it that way--thanks annmarie :)

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    1. yeah i think she may be on to something too :)

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  17. The good news is that you have a great relationship with your family, and have much to look forward to. Keep writing as your gift to them. Julie

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    1. i hope to keep writing although i don't think much of my family ever reads my writing---thanks julie :)

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  18. "As I sit here at the corner of my space"--Lynn, this is so perfect! You always floor me with these gorgeous lines that somehow manage to speak directly to what I'm feeling. And I love what you said about not beating yourself up. Thanks, Lynn...

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    1. meredith, i can't tell you how your kind comments encourage me---you make me want to write everyday--thanks :)

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  19. You and I are looking at the same number! (in less than 3 weeks for me) I'm still trying to figure out how it got here so fast!

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    1. haha i know---if you figure that one out, let me know ms. a ;)

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  20. Hi Lynn,

    I too, wonder how the years have gone by so fast.
    Great writing and think we all think and feel like this.

    Happy week
    hugs
    Carolyn

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    1. i think we all do too--i just don't want to start sounding like a broken record haha--thanks carolyn :)

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  21. stop beating yourself up! your too beautiful for marks! :D new follower, hi!!

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    1. welcome tammy!! and thanks for the lovely compliment :)

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  22. Life goes by quickly. Just enjoy every minute of it!

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    1. and the latter part goes by even quicker---thanks sherry :)

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