Part time window box

 Back when Frank and I were first married- our tv would only get PBS channel-we basically only watched cooking shows- upstairs downstairs and Monty python-

Hence this entry today- one of the jokes - someone asked what occupation they had - he replied- he was a part time window box- that cracked us up- and still does me-

And we laughed often at the running skit about the disagreement room- no this is the contradiction room- I’m sure I’m not recalling it correctly and you had to be there!

A much different scene today- with so many shows- network- streaming- mini series-

Sometimes Robyn and I forget what we had been watching-

I’ve shared before my guilty pleasure of reality tv- I still enjoy quite a few of them -

One type of show I don’t particularly care for are game shows- but I’ll watch the wheel and jeopardy- as Miller loves them-

Back to the only PBS days- because of those limited shows - we developed a real love of cooking shows that found us huddled together on Saturdays- watching them as we had our coffee-

I still like them- especially the pioneer woman and the kitchen-

Downton Abbey was another favorite of ours- reminding us of upstairs downstairs of course-

I also enjoyed the nature shows- I don’t think Frank did as much- I still can get caught up in them- definitely if it’s about birds or Alaska-

Not sure if I’d like to go back to that one channel choice- but oh how I would love to hear Frank’s laugh as he repeated- “part time window box”

Offenses

 The Lord’s Prayer tells us that we should forgive others- just as God has forgiven us-

And we need not be easily offended-

But still we make excuses- and grant you- I’m not sure it means you will be buddy buddy with everyone that has offended you but I guess it’s a matter of the heart-

As a believer- my guide is the Holy Bible- people like to say they don’t believe in religion but instead they just try and have a good heart-

To me the problem is - God’s word says - “the heart is deceitfully  wicked- who can know it”-

And no one is good-

Now some are easily offended and one may never even know they have been the cause of an imagined offense- you can’t blame yourself for those-

I remember a pastor I highly respected saying- when he was told something offensive or was criticized- he would respond- I’ll give that some thought- and he would pray about it- if he concluded there was no truth in the advice/critisim - he would shake it off and move on

That same preacher also said that when someone had offended you- and in God’s perfect will- he couldn’t let it go- he thought it was better to blow than bury it- I tend to agree with that-

I think it’s wise to be slow to take offense and quick to forgive and to ask forgiveness when we intentionally offend or realize we have -

News

 Don’t get excited- I’m having a little trouble settling on my letter today- so I’m just going to catch y’all up on a bit of my life-

First off - I’ve been trying to eat a lot healthier these days- salads are almost a daily thing

Other foods can be any vegetables- frozen canned or fresh-soups- fruits- peanut butter- and some dairy and a few special low carb choices-

It has me feeling a lot better-

I’m reading more- or should I say audio books- the book club has turned into a long time good friend of mine who lives in a different state- reading and catching up virtually- seems to be less complicated-

I’ve started going back to my church I was born into- I’m enjoying it - but it’s kinda hit and miss with Miller!

I had a list last summer of people/friends/family I wanted to connect with - I didn’t finish my list- there are at least three I still want to get together with and continue with ones I have seen recently-

But it has me kinda feeling like maybe my time could be up- once this list is completed- 

I haven’t been writing- it seems this April challenge is the only time I do anymore 

I think I am a pretty good listener but I have tried to be more conscious of sincerely hearing people-

Well maybe I should have continued to think about this letter- because I think I don’t have much going on

Oh on Tuesdays I almost always have a call from my sister Martha- it’s been nice- I feel closer to her - like we used to be-and both of my sons call me very regularly- which is so nice

Man there’s got to be something else going on-

If I think of anything I’ve forgotten- perhaps I can use another letter to bore you with it-

What’s going on with everyone else?-

Mean girls

 Okay first off - I may change this m post- but you wouldn’t know that- would you-

I like to write about my thoughts and real experiences or stories in my life- so don’t take too much time wondering why I’m still thinking about this- sometimes I rack my brain- and the strangest unimportant things come out!

Years ago there was this woman who came to our church- pretty regularly- for at least a year or two- she came in the Sunday school class I was in- and my husband Frank taught it-

I remember thinking she was a super Christian and I doubted very much- that I was anywhere near her level of devotion- I liked her-

Every time I would interact with her- she would apologize and ask me my name again- admittedly I don’t recall her name today- but back then- I always remembered hers’- 

After probably a dozen times of her asking my name again- I started to think she may not have liked me- or that I was very forgettable at best-

She never was at a loss for Frank’s name- and I started to take notice of how complimentary she was towards Frank-

At the time Frank was losing weight and as always he dressed up for church 

I on the other hand was quite overweight- although I dressed in church clothes also-

Well after much thought as to why she was ignoring me or pretending to forget my name- I decided to play her game- the next time - and the last- when she struggled to come up with my name- I told her Debbie-

She looked like she had been caught- she never asked my name again and never met my knowing gaze again-

Last time

 I picked last- I can’t talk about some last times- I’m not comfortable enough to delve into some last times- so although it’s still emotional and bittersweet- I decided I would feel okay with the idea of my childhood home last times-

As we sold our parents house a few years ago- I found myself going there several last times- to go through old stuff- marked with the occasional treasure- or a long forgotten piece of childhood that echoed with a mixture of dread regrets and sadness- and not without a sprinkling of fear-

Wondering how I got to these last times- did I ever foresee the future as I sat in the soft chair- looking at the Christmas tree- almost always after Christmas- and suddenly feeling the Christmas spirit-

Did my reflection in the picture windows ever stop to truly see myself- would it recognize the woman pondering these memories today-

Last time in my hallway- last time in my bedroom-in the pink bathroom- in the paneled den - last time- take it in- don’t resist the endless pangs of illusive moments-

So I touched the door- looking back as I closed it-like watching the last scene in a long running sitcom-

And I promised the child within me- that I would try hard to give reverence to all these last times

Kitchen talk

 Of course we all know- write what you know- that’s especially good advice for me -as I have more than once admitted to being a lazy writer at best- -so research would not be my choice-

Now again an admission of sorts- I’m not really that versed in the kitchen-

But kitchen seemed to be kinda a safe k word

I was doing cooking videos off and on over the last few years since Frank died

At first it made me feel a bit guilty- as I couldn’t boast of having a home cooked meal waiting for Frank each night

For a while I was really into them- and finding a new/old interest in food preparation-

I made crockpot recipes- stove top one pot meals and occasionally some harder tries- such as enchiladas- tomato pies- and stuffed shells- but nothing too intricate -

I also found myself immersed at times with crafts- which was so not like me-

I mean I used to do children’s church- I always loved thinking of a craft and purchasing the supplies- but almost never partook in the implementation-

I have discovered the beauty of soups- so versatile and economical-

I might go back to the videos this summer- we’ll see 

Hmmm maybe if I find myself blogging next April- I can work it out- to just show a-z cooking videos-

-

Jellybeans

 Okay I know my oldest grandson loves jellybeans- and popcorn and tea-

This year as always I try to find little treats and things for everyone’s  Easter basket- or containers- whether they be bags- beach bags or tote bags-

My girls and granddaughters mainly get objects- with some special candies thrown in- my boys and older grandsons mostly get edible stuff with the occasional funny socks included-

This year my oldest son and one of my grandson’s Easter bags got switched- I saw the look on my grandson’s face as he retrieved Twinkie popcorn out and my son eyed his son’s Reese’s pieces and combos!- I assured them they had gotten the incorrect bag- they laughed it off!

I told them just to take the bag that was meant for them- but they seemed to be enjoying exchanging items-

As my oldest grandson pulled out jelly beans teas popcorn- popcorn seasoning and more jelly beans- my grandson with his dad’s bag- started to wonder- does my nanny even know what I like or not!

Now remember they by this point were aware that the bags were mixed up- anyway- he continued to hold up stuff that was meant for his dad and say things- like “hot sauce- for real”- and the coffee for his dad- he was fine with that!

But I sensed- maybe he hadn’t seen all the things I had remembered he liked and didn’t like- 

I assured him again- you know I know you hate popcorn- you know I know you don’t care for hot stuff- but did you see the beef jerky- and not the spicy kind-

He smiled as he and my son traded the ritz socks for the doggie socks and my grandson’s gummy lifesavers for my son’s jellybeans-