Tuesday, April 24, 2012

u is for understood


one of the most desired things one human needs from another, is to be understood---i know this is something i have always needed and missed so much of my life-

as i look back over my life, i think there may have been people that did really know, me—people i didn't recognize at the time----

i have had many occasions, where, i could simply not let something go, if i didn't feel that i had been heard or misunderstood----thankfully as i have matured or gotten old, i have learned to hide my concern about being understood—at least i am better at it--

why must we be understood—of course there is language, that should take care of it, when we are out of our infancy---but it does not---

language just may be more of a hindrance to true understanding—as we choose or do not choose our words carefully----then replaying what was communicated---but forgetting to notice the eyes, the arms folded, the shifting---the body language--

if someone understands us, we will be loved, but this is not the case at all----to know us does not always equate with loving us-----so we hide ourselves—pretending to be what the nearest companion may think they want---and then we wonder why we aren't understood--

62 comments:

  1. There is a lot of wisdom here with what we do and why we do it; your last thought about it does speak volumes about the way we all seem to live. It is hard to understand and be understood; something I need to think more about indeed!! Great use of the letter U :)

    betty

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    1. i am so glad you got something from it--thanks so much betty for all of your encouraging comments--)!

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  2. we're so complicated! great thought process =)

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    1. haha we are aren't we--too bad--thanks tara

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  3. There are definitely days where I feel like I'm speaking another language, where no one gets me. I think it's a difficult thing to truly understand another person. Maybe it's asking too much - maybe it's good enough for people to just let us be who we are.

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    1. good point--not too many do that--or they do but we don't have anything to do with each other---thanks tonja

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  4. i'd like to think i've gotten better at hiding my concern about being understood too, but i think i still have a ways to go... creative post!

    have a great day!!

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    1. yeah i know in reality, i'm not that much better at it either--thanks and you have a wonderful day too!

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  5. You make a good point. We all want to be understood, but at the same time, we're afraid of it.

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    1. yes, mainly because we don't think they would like us when they do understand--this took me a while to understand--i always was naive enough to think, if i could just make then see my point, they would.........but two people can see the very same point in different directions--thanks shelley

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  6. Great post, Lynn. :) you are right, language plays a big part in being understood,and to some extent the body language. Would be easier even if I don't understand a certain language, eyes and a smile can communicate alot, and my mind would interpret that and understand what the other person is saying.

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    1. so true--like the smile is the same in all language thing--thanks cecilia!

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  7. Awww...something I deal with on a daily basis is being misunderstood. Living in a foreign country, even once you know the language,is and always will be a challenge.

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    1. yes another kind of language barrier---thanks siv :)

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  8. I like what you said about hearing the words but not paying attention to the body language. Body language is such a part of communication. I think that sometimes emails and online posts can be misunderstood simply because we can't see the person's associated body language (or hear his or her tone of voice.)

    I'm rambling. What I mean to say is that I enjoyed your post! :)

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    1. no you weren't rambling at all--it's an excellent point--i think of that lots of times after i post--i think hey, they don't know me--hope they got the way i meant it haha---thanks dana!

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  9. I agree. If I had a dime for every time I said to someone, "Do ya know what I mean?"

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  10. haha i know, wouldn't we be rich--thanks mina :)

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  11. I'm still looking for someone able to understand me so I can ask them a few questions.

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  12. I think in some instances you have to keep certain feelings hidden in order to avoid confrontations that will never be resolved anyway. Though for the most part, you should just let your true self shine. Julie

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    1. i agree, that is what i have come to believe anyway--thanks :)

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  13. I find I desire to be understood, but, when it is not happening, reaching out to others quells the pain. Good thoughts, Lynn! Just stopping by from the challenge...
    Http://4ambassadorsofchrist.blogspot.com

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  14. Great U post. We all want at least one person to understand us. Though, it seems that one person understands some things and another person understand other things, if we're lucky.

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    1. that's so true--i guess that's one reason we need more than one person in our lives--thanks christine:)

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  15. I find it more important to understand others than for them to understand me.

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    1. that's usually easier for me--thanks paula :)

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  16. Great "U" post. I hate it when I think I have been misunderstood.
    Blessings, Joanne

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  17. Excellent topic and post. Like Joanne, being misunderstood can ruin multiple things.

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    1. yes it can certainly make relationships strained or end--thanks susan

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  18. Being understood has a lot of connection with our sense of self worth. Isn't that part of craving acceptance?

    Misunderstanding others can also be a problem, and injury may be perceived where none was intended.

    Nice U post, Lynn!

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    1. very insightful---and so true about our self worth being tied in, too bad----thanks d.g. :)

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  19. I too don't like being misunderstood. It happens to the best of us. With certain personalities, you'd come to realize it's not you...

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    1. that is a comfort at least, huh--thanks cynthia :)

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  20. being understood means we've bared our souls to someone and see the real person inside. That is a very vulnerable place to be.

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    1. and when they don't understand us, it's like we have gotten naked for no reason--thanks nancy ;)

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  21. I have found that being understood depends a lot on if the other person is really listening. So many times people are in such a hurry that they don't honestly hear what it is that you have to say. Great post Lynn.

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    1. i agree--we have to listen to hear--thanks :)

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  22. it really can be a vicious circle - hide the truth, yet be upset when no one sees it!

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    1. yes, like some people want mind readers-thanks jemi

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  23. Being understood is complicated. Even when you want to be understood, people may not want to understand you. They'd rather believe what they want to believe.

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  24. I think this might be a universal desire, and a universal dilemma. We want to be understood, but we withhold so much information it may not be possible.

    Patricia

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    1. i am sure there is much truth in what you say, patricia :)

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  25. That's why I cleary feel misunderstood
    it's the communication thing
    thanks Lynn

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    1. and even when we feel like we are communicating as best we can--it doesn't always take--thanks :)

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  26. Great post! I used to do that... the not letting go, not wanting to be misunderstood, wanting to be heard. Now, I'm like, if they get it, they get it. If not, no biggie. :)

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    1. yes it feels good when i can say that too--thanks jackie

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  27. I wish I could show this to some of my students. They're so busy playing roles, trying to fit in, they don't really even understand themselves let alone anyone really knowing them. It must be so stressful.

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    1. i know, that is when it is really bad--at least it does get better--thanks susan

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  28. My goal is to slow down enough to understand where people are coming from.

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  29. I can empathize with you on this one. I've often felt misunderstood. I deal with it better now, but it can still be frustrating.


    Lee
    A Few Words
    An A to Z Co-host blog

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    1. i deal with it a lot better now too--thank goodness-thanks arlee

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  30. These are deep thoughts. It's true. Being understood is something I want too, but sometimes I choose the wrong words. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. oh it's so easy to do, isn't it--thanks jessica

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  31. Way to be understood, Lynn (!)
    You are obviously a smart introspective person and I value these kinds of post. So very well said.

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    1. that is so nice of you to say---thank you so very much, cathy :)

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  32. wonderful post! thanks for visiting my blog while I was away with the family at Universal - my rock star daughter and son both loved the Hard Rock in Orlando - they felt "understood" ;-)
    This has been a fun A to Z month! Busy catching up on all I missed in the last week ;-)

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    1. haha i am glad they were understood! thanks katie :)

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