Wednesday, April 25, 2012

v is for visiting


like i stated in my cornbread blog—people don't visit like they used to--

i have to admit—this has not bothered me too much in my life—i think i inherited my mother's kind of anti-social gene------

but sometimes the idea of people visiting sounds very appealing to me--

it brings back my dad's stories about his family, my grandparents and his younger brother—visiting his mom's sister, every night---i mean literally every night---they would go over to aunt minnie's house straight after supper and just visit--

he recalls how his aunt would always have a cake made fresh---he and my uncle elwin, would look forward all day to that large piece of cake aunt minnie would give them and the big glass of icy milk---he said her chocolate cake was his favorite----

at that time they didn't have tv or a phone---so this was the only way they got any news or gossip of the day---who might have stopped by earlier----who they might have run into at the corner store—or what pastor martin might have been working on at the church as they walked by that day---

even when i was a child, when we went to my grandparents for sunday dinners---there would most always be a couple of visitors, while we were there--

yes it's a nice thought—and who knows maybe one day i will be just like my grandmother—when someone unexpected comes to my door, i won't panic---i will throw open the door—offer them something to eat and a cup of coffee and to please stay and visit a spell--

84 comments:

  1. I know. We hardly ever have people come over. I miss that. My husband really likes it that people aren't dropping by. I am not saying every day but once in a while is nice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. my husband loves company haha--i know, it is a lost art, it seems--thanks ruth

      Delete
  2. The more we become connected via our communication devices, the less the personal aspect seems to matter.

    I remember visiting with my parents too, when we were younger. Perhaps that was the social media of the day. They didn't read blogs, they heard it via the grapevine when friends and family came to visit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yep sometimes that was all they had, as in my dad's family and probably most families back then--thanks :)

      Delete
  3. Aw... this post brought a smile on my face. Reminded me of home. In Kenya, it's common when people drop by for a visit, the host flungs the door open, invites them in, and insists for the visitor to stay for a while -all smiles. Reminds me of my mom as well. And if there is no tea or anything like that, she will always come up with something for the guest. It's quite different here. But I guess with TV and computers and the like, it is distracting and people rarely visit nowadays.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it sounds quite wonderful--thanks cecilia :)

      Delete
  4. Visitors seem to be a thing of the past. I enjoyed the story about your fahter's visiting. Every night? It must have been his extended home. Up until a few years ago, English people went to the pub to chat. Now, the pubs are closing due to dwindling funds.

    http://francene-wordstitcher.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yes every night--they didn't live far from one another--thanks for commenting francene :)

      Delete
  5. That cake sounds delicious! I can imagine why your dad would have had fond memories of those times; imagine making a cake a day! You are right, visiting sure isn't what it used to be. Like someone else said, we do have so many other modern technologies to stay in touch, but I think face to face on a porch enjoying a cup of coffee, glass of milk, glass of lemonade etc would be mighty fine sometimes. Maybe I should make a point of doing that once a month or something (of course I'd have to find a porch :)

    enjoy the day

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i know--i am thinking of having something like you suggest--thanks betty :)

      Delete
  6. Love the posting. I moved to a Semi Retirement community so it depends on who is banging on the door. I have a gossipy neighbor who annoys me. My kids visit and love the visits by the grandkiddies but I also just like the quiet times too..

    ReplyDelete
  7. I wish I lived in those days where people actually lived as a community, sitting on porches sharing stories and a glass of lemonaid. Now we just live as hermits, afraid of the outside world, and afraid anyone might judge us by our messy kitchens if they were to come in.

    Great Post Lynn!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i know---my grandmother's house was certainly not perfect--but as i think back, it wasn't messy--like mine can tend to become--thanks zebsmom

      Delete
  8. It was a more idyllic and sociable time. It sounds nice the way you describe it and I remember much the same. My parents always welcomed visitors. I'm less sociable these day, but I wouldn't mind some visitors now and then. My wife doesn't like any visitors except for our kids or occasional family members.


    Lee
    Please help me reach 100 followers at:
    A Few Words
    An A to Z Co-host blog
    My Main blog is Tossing It Out

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i am more like your wife, it sounds--but i do like to entertain, when i have plenty of notice and help---thanks and thanks again for the shout out today!!

      Delete
  9. One of my girl's friends stopped by the other week, just to say hi. I felt so bad not inviting her, her cousin, and aunt into the kitchen as I was fighting a stomach bug. But it really made my daughter's day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh you are very brave--the stomach bug would have been my excuse and usually that's pretty much all you have to say, to get rid of any unannounced visitor--thanks :)

      Delete
  10. I think most of us are either too busy or too skittish to visit much. I do love it when my family is over, however, because we laugh so much. I'll have to work in being less timid and visit more often!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yes i know what you mean about timid--i would almost never drop in on someone or invite myself--even to my parents home after i moved out--thanks judy :)

      Delete
  11. We are big on visiting and company, we visit each other every day. People should try and visit once a week, instead of just holidays. We have learned that Skype is a valuable tool.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that's awesome--you two sound very sweet--thanks for commenting :)

      Delete
  12. interesting when you think about it -- before TV, you could read a book for entertainment or go seek out company. the thing with TV is I think a lot of people use it for the company they are missing if that makes sense. Well, now we go on line...:))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i know what you mean--i know i find that i don't watch near as much tv as i once did--thanks sandra :)

      Delete
  13. People sure don't visit like they used to. I remember when I was young that someone was always stopping by for a visit. If it was close to dinner time, they would be invited. When no one was visiting us, we were the ones that did the visiting. It is surely a lost art.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it is an art isn't it--too bad it does seem lost--thanks :)

      Delete
  14. I think most of us are just too busy running around with all the stuff we have to do, that we just don't have time to sit around and visit. It's a different world!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it really seems so--but i still think it sounds kinda nice in my head--thanks sherry

      Delete
  15. I really try to stay in contact with my friends and family, but there are times I run out of steam after writing, blogging, gardening, taking care of the necessities like laundry or making dinner. I still have to squeeze in exercise to keep myself from going bonkers. So I guess a lot of my anti-social behavior is a lack of time and energy. Some of my friends and family understand. Some don't. All my writer friends totally get what I'm up against.

    Loved reading about your visits to family. Such great memories.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i know, it is hard to do---i found myself having to say no to a lot more things than i used to--i thought i wouldn't be this busy in my old age--guess part of it is because i had my last child at an old age!--thanks for the comments :)

      Delete
  16. I think I will start opening my house up some. Invite people over. Make a cake. First I have to vacuum and dust and cover stuff with tarps, but then...I'm going to get social - and not just virtually. It sounds like the right thing to do again, doesn't it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it does--i have been toying with the idea of having a dessert and cards or game night---let's do it!! thanks donna :)

      Delete
  17. My mother's side of the family was like that. Sunday dinners for birthdays and holidays. They still do it. I miss the noise and excitement. They lasted just an afternoon. Perfect visit time. My father's family was anti-social and so is my husband's. I live far away from my mom and our family. I'd love to have my Sunday visits back.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. awwww i know---i keep thinking i am going to start cooking, Sunday dinners, like "queenie"---it could still happen---i wish your family was close--thanks christine :)

      Delete
  18. This is such a good post. I am like Donna--not ready for company, house needs cleaning, no cake or pie--but I would like to be that person who can have a drop-in visitor. My mom was that person.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. my mother was so not that person--but both of my grandmother's were and the house didn't have to be spotless either----i am encouraging myself with each comment--haha but not tonight--thanks susan :)

      Delete
  19. Great post. I can be completely anti-social BUT when someone comes by, I do throw open the door and invite them in. It's so rare, I'm safe. When all is said and done, I DO miss the face to face of my youth.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. well at least you are hospitable when they come!! thanks :)

      Delete
  20. Back in college I used to visit friends all the time, just show up at their dorm room door unannounced. Some enjoyed the company (and welcomed the break from homework), while others I suspect were put off by my presence, making excuses so I'd leave. But these days, my visits are always scheduled. The only time people drop by unannounced is at my in-laws'; it's a small town, so the sense of community is still much like it was 20-30 years ago.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah i am sure many college students do the same---sounds like a neat place where your in-laws live--thanks for the comments, nate

      Delete
  21. That sounds lovely. It looks like a lot of people 'visit' your blog, though. :)

    You got an award on my blog BTW :) http://writingwithshellyandchad.blogspot.com/2012/04/v-versatile.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have no idea why it spaced my comment like that but it looks kinda cool ;)

      Delete
    2. haha it does look kinda cool--gets your attention--thanks for the award!!

      Delete
  22. I rarely have any visitors, apart from one of my daughters and one of my grandsons. Think people are too busy these days, but I don't really mind. My 'visiting' now seems to be via the internet!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. well the internet is great that way--thanks paula :)

      Delete
  23. Sunday was always visiting day when I was growing up and that was so much fun; spontaneous! Not today and I also think I'm okay with that. We lead such busy lives that it's a disruption when someone comes over if the weekend is planned!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i know it's true but kinda sad--thanks tracy

      Delete
  24. Nice post! I like my time alone too. But I do love it when I meet with my writing groups (I'm in 2) and I love teaching. Once in a while, I like to throw a small dinner party, say with two other couples. Small enough so that rather than "circulating" we can all talk deeply together on various subjects!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that sounds really nice--i don't do dinner parties often--more family dinners or parties--i want to join a writing group, sound fun--thanks catherine

      Delete
  25. I'm not crazy about having visitors, mainly because I'm never prepared for them. I like to know way in advance if someone's coming over; I need that much time to clean and bake and do all the things I like to do before company arrives. Once they're here, I have a great time. It's just the preparation that gets me. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i am certainly like that also--but gonna work on being a little more spontaneous with it--haha i just realized i said something stupid--oh well ;)--thanks dana

      Delete
  26. How much fun it would've been to have a slice of that fresh baked chocolate cake every night?! Your great aunt was such a wonderful hostess! Julie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. she must have been--by the time i came--we didn't visit her that much--thanks julie

      Delete
  27. Some sweet memories you share here... For me, I prefer scheduled visits. It would be uncomfortable if someone showed up while I was focused on a task or not in the mood to chat that day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. me too--i am just going to work on the scheduled ones--and trying to be tidier just in case - thanks cynthia :)

      Delete
  28. I think its a little bit sad that Americans in particular are so scheduled they can't stop for a 'visit'. Even going for a coffee with a friend has to be planned.

    In the UK if a neighbor was outside when I walked past they almost always invited me in for a cuppa and a chat (or chin wag as they sometimes call it). Its nice. Friendly. Slows down the pace of life for a minute or two. I miss that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. awww that does sound really nice--like something i have read about! thanks joyce :)

      Delete
  29. This is the key--do you have a porch? I wish I did. I think a porch encourages people to say hello and sometimes stop by

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i don't and i think you are right--but i am going to have to work past that! thanks :)

      Delete
  30. We 70 minute drive from one daughter and 8 hour from the other.
    A visit once a year would be nice, but nooooo, we visit them. The one 4 blocks from the beach, well I don't mind the 8 hour drive.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha i wouldn't mind that either! thanks anthony :)

      Delete
  31. So true, we truly don't stop by and visit much anymore. We didn't do it as kids either - probably because my parents were immigrants and didn't have family here. I can't imagine doing it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it is really a lost thing in many societies---thanks jemi ;)

      Delete
  32. I'd love to have people just drop by to visit! Maybe I'd keep my house a little tidier if there was the chance it could happen at any time!

    Thank you for visiting my blog. Sorry I took so long to get here!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Oh! I just signed up to follow your blog and the number says you have 100 followers now! That's me: #100!! I'm waiting for the fanfare to play and the balloons to fall from the ceiling...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. cool!!!and so glad you came by---yayay 100 thanks bel :)

      Delete
  34. Hey Lynn, well I've certainly enjoyed visiting your blog and your visits to mine, thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  35. My husband comes from a family of visitors. They think nothing of popping by and saying hello, nothing formal, just catching up. I really admire that about them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. my husband's family would tend to be more this way than mine--yeah that's pretty neat--thanks cathy :)

      Delete
  36. It sounds like it would be fun, but not every night! A few nights a week, maybe.

    Sonia Lal @ Story Treasury

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i know, i wouldn't like it every night either--but maybe when i was a kid-especially if i got to see my cousins like my dad did--thanks sonia

      Delete
  37. I aspire to that kind of openness too, but do the same as you; panic. When kids are added to the equation tho' it is different because they don't really care. They just want to play! And that is ok with me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. so true--kids don't care what your house looks like--if you have cake!--thanks :)

      Delete
  38. It would be nice if things were like they were back in the days. I remember going to visit people as a kid. It was the best when they didn't have television because then my sister and I got to play using our imaginations. Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  39. I LOVE this post!...the story of visiting Aunt Millie every night...and I mean EVERY night...especially! I'm like you - I totally panic when people stop by unexpectedly...or expectedly, lol!...because my cleaning skills and interest in improving the same are way down on my list of priorities. And who among us doesn't have a to-do list a mile long to accomplish before jumping in to bed at night? But a good visit with friends or relatives is like a shot of an energy drink to the soul! Maybe that's why the enemy fights us so hard in this area? Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  40. This was so great! We are having our first real visitors to the new house next weekend and I am SO EXCITED!
    My grandma used to say that the point of having company was to get the house clean. I say it's an excuse to bake, but the getting the house clean part is a nice side benefit :)
    I'd totally love to come over and visit your house - we'd have great fun!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. your grandma thinks like me--sometimes i am glad we are going to have a big party--cause it means i can get my husband to do lots of work--especially if it's his family--thanks!

      Delete
  41. I'm much more anti-social than I used to be - not sure what changed, but I do get bouts where I suddenly want to whip up some big feast and invite a bunch of people over, and just talk and talk and talk.

    I really need to be more social!

    :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. me too--i think about being more social--i know my husband would love it--thanks ann :)

      Delete
  42. I must have the same anti-social gene. Unexpected company might as well be a band of roving vampires. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha you wouldn't believe the things i have done when that horrid thing happens--maybe i will share on another blog someday or let one of my characters do it!!

      Delete