just writing

well our family finally made the decision to leave our church- the one we have always gone to - i like to say i went there before i was born, as my parents are charter members--it was time

a lot of bad things had gotten in the way these last couple of years--my friend says it's way past due, our leaving and that she thinks God was trying to make us leave--probably so-

still it's going to be somewhat hard to leave the familiar and all-

kinda funny, my husband, frank was just about to call and talk to the people he needed to , about resigning different jobs, when the phone rang --it was a lady at church- she had called to tell frank that the church was replacing him as superintendent of sunday school- he had to laugh-- because we had already decided to leave

i hope we find where God wants us soon- but i have to say visiting last Sunday at a new church wasn't as hard as i had thought it would be--it's kind of exciting and freeing-

if you're reading this ,please be in pray for us --

day with grand-daughter

today i kept my second to youngest grand-daughter - robyn and i decided , despite the rain we would take her to walmart to shop and have lunch-she seemed to enjoy herself--she kills me though- she is just so funny -i don't know why, she just is--

she insisted mama and daddy had a new car- was hoping that was true, but it wasn't --

robyn and i split our usual tuna sub and little (gotta remember to ask kids if they mind me using names - i'll call her dana ) dana got a hot dog-

i got the other grand kids clothes i found on sale - there were no sizes for her so she got a light up pumpkin thing, to take trick or treating

little sideline now -- the other day i was having lunch with my son- robyn was telling him about the costume she was gonna wear on halloween--and he said -gee that's funny , mom never let us go trick or treating--i felt so bad-- it was mostly true---you see when he was little i had this big religious conviction about not celebrating Halloween--you get older, ya change- but still felt the guilt--oh well not a thing i can do to change that--

it was a nice day- dana had the most fun playing with my shells i have sitting around in different containers--seems she's stolen quite a few - according to my son --he's like- mom please don't send her home with anymore shells--and really mom,just why did you bring the kids beach glass- no we didn't let them have it--

well not much more to say-- i'm planning to go read the rest of my daughter-in -law's book she has written- can't wait--grand kids are fun- i recommend them to everyone

so i haven't written in a few part 2--and still nobody cares :(

boy it's true -writers do hit dry spots- but they say true writers just keep on writing , even if it's just a few lines a day
i remember when i wrote my first (what i consider ) real book --more like a short novel or really loonng short story--anyway- i couldn't stop writing, i would even be up in the night - it just flowed- like i couldn't stop it if i had wanted to--not so much like that lately--thinking about life too much i guess-

i want to go ahead and make the mark i was put here to make--and it may just be my mark is making sacrifices--and that's okay--if i know what they are--you read so much about doing what you are passionate about--but is that always possible--maybe not in certain times of our lives-

maybe our passions can change to something easier - passion doesn't always have to be a struggle - does it ?

why do we want to live out our dreams-but also fit in with society or i least i find my self still fighting myself this way--as the Bible says we are to live in this world but not be of it and we are not suppose to love the things of this world--but it's very hard to keep going in this world ,sometimes without the "things" of this world--

i really hate the crap i'm writing lately- but i'm trying to not give up on this stupid blog--

what if i'm on the verge of a great breakthrough- a breakthrough to what i don't know - heck i don't even know what a breakthrough would look like--or if it would mean anything if it came-"fish world "is so much easier -never mind that---one day all i will be concerned with will be -will be -well ,will be probably nothing even similar to my silly questions and concerns today--"vanity, vanity , all is vanity"

okay so i haven't written-does anybody care====

hi there- it's tuesday and i'm making my parents dinner again--kinda getting in a routine--making pork short ribs -broccoli rice and broccoli florets--made double for us to have--

robyn's been busy with dance so far this week - she is in the highest level --i think she was a little nervous about it , but it helps that her best friend went up also--she even got to student teach for an extra class yesterday-will continue to do so all year--she loves it -it's the little little ones- so cute-

sounds like our fall will become pretty busy- the dance studio plans some parades and performances , they haven't done before or at least since robyn has been there

pray for my family this week please- a unspoken--thanks--i don't really think it is a big deal-but why not pray- right-

my mom seems to be doing some better- she even went in the choir last sunday- she was telling everybody how she feel asleep in the choir--i couldn't find out if she slept through the choir's special- my father didn't notice --and my husband who was in the service that morning didn't either and i was in children's church--oh well -at least she made it to church--small steps--

i've got my fall mums on my porch- i was gonna get 2 yellow pots of mums-my husband said to get 1 yellow and 1 purple- he was right- then i went ahead and got a pumpkin too- i'm always wanting to get a pumpkin early, but don't - i went wild--even got a beautiful fall wreath from dollar general (love that store )

we're busy doing school and all --just thought i'd take a moment to write and stay in touch - wish you all would--

remembering carter

this is the anniversary of my dear carter's passing from his beautiful body. he was 12 years old when he left- he is my 3rd born son--

there are of course many many things that i remember about carter- i just want to recall a few of them-

i remember how your big brothers played with you- lots- and how colin always said you were his little buddy
i remember how your youngest sister, robyn used to put make-up on you and high heel shoes-until mama saw it and quickly took them off--i don't think you minded
i remember how much you liked to have your head scratched- and although you couldn't talk - you let me know , when i stopped that you had not had enough !
i remember when you had lots of curly light brown hair - we said you looked like a little lion
i remember how - the first few years you laughed and laughed-
i remember how much you seemed to like "Aladdin" and how we decided "a whole new world" was your song
i remember holding you the night you died and thinking i could memorize your face-
i remember you today and everyday- you came at such a sad time in our lives and made things bearable-we all miss you and will see you one day--the Bible says you will have a new body, but to me i can't imagine a body or spirit more beautiful than yours-i love you carter

haven't had much to say the last few days--kinda in a funk ,yesterday-probably the rain

okay schools started, my daughter has started her solo for dance competition ,and i am still wondering what to do about the church Christmas play- last week i was really leaning towards doing it - had even picked some of the music out--but now....

we don't even know if we are going to stay at our church--i don't want to slam my church here, it's just a lot of things to consider--for one thing there are hardly any kids my daughter's age there. and another thing- our Sunday school class my husband and i teach , is really shrinking--i know "where two or more are gathered together.....we've been praying about it for a good while now--one reason i think we are afraid to leave ,is we are so used to it --and the fear if we stop going there we will just stop going altogether

i wish things were different but right now they are not--i wish if anyone is reading this , they will comment and give your point of view--maybe you've gone through something like this before-- i know we have--but still don't know any answers--one thing i know--if Christmas wasn't in couple of months - i'd be gone most likely--,maybe that's my answer

my wishes for my grand-daughter on her birthday

i wish so many good things for you, it's hard to pick some to write about--most of all i wish for you a great faith -for faith will get you through so much of the things that may come along-things you wouldn't ask for , but sometimes find they were just what you needed-

i wish for you contentment and passion and of course great love --i wish you children -

i wish you good health-good friends- to stay always connected to family and those people that are important to you-

i also wish for you ,something i suspect you already have- a generous spirit-

i wish you a wonderful party tonight and the best school year ever--but most of all i wish you a wonderful grand-daughter just like you :)