the little boy mannequin

i think i may have mentioned my families pizza quest--i may not have--i guess i should have looked back over my blogs--to tired --barely able to write--so i guess i will tell you about the pizza quest in case i have not.



a few years ago we would put the kids in the car -get starbucks- play our favorite music and ride until we were hungry for dinner--we did this for years--we still do it when my husband is off on a weekend night - we used to always go on friday nights--we tried almost every pizza joint in the greater richmond area--we found our very favorite was "zorba's" greek pizza - my husband also really liked "robin inn"--but the story is not about the pizza --that's just how we came to know the little boy mannequin in carytown



i won't reveal which store he is in- i've been trying to get them to sell it to me ever since we met him --he is probably from the 1940's or 50's --i just love him - although if i did get him , it would take a lot of time for me to look at him close ,or touch him--ya know the doll thing--but still i want him--i know part of it is he reminds me of one of my little angels.



the first time my husband went into the store to inquire if we could buy him, they said no--the owner did not want to sell him at the time, but did tell my husband of a website he could go to .it seems there is this site where people that collect baby mannequins ,go to show each other how they have dressed them up etc.--my husband assured them he had no interest in this rather odd hobby--but he only wanted to rescue the little mannequin, from a store window that was dressing him in things like"the ramones"t-shirt--we like the ramones but come on .



frank said he had the feeling they thought he was weirder than the dress up mannequin people--i don't think it's strange - the poor thing needed a good home.



every few months my husband calls to check on the situation--they talk to him in slow deliberate words--no sir we still are not interested in selling you our mannequin--he still tries ,for me.



so if you go riding down in carytown you may start to look for our mannequin--i hope you find it in a way--because i don't really think most people would want to buy him anyway--and if you do see him -take a good long look at him and see if you don't think he's the sweetest little mannequin you have ever laid eyes on.

walking and dreaming

i hope this blog doesn't depress anyone--by the way my husband says i really shouldn't use the dashes the way i do--i explained this to my readers in my first blog -so if it bugs you -you can refer to that or just ignore it--sorry.

my family was visiting today ,with someone we have adopted in our hearts back in 1994--he is at the same institution as "janie" lived-- we try to stroll him in his wheelchair ,as much as we can ,when we visit--he seems to enjoy this--between talking to him (he's non-verbal) and walking there is a lot of time to think--

today i was contemplating how i might start something i've always wanted to do (purposely don't want to share it) --it sounded great and "teddy" (not real name) looked approvingly as i chattered away --who knows it could work-- i went on and on about it , until teddy started grunting his annoyance at the subject now-- we walked on -- teddy often inspires me to dream--it's like--how does he seem so happy and content--he doesn't own a house, or an apartment--he doesn't even have his own room--but yet he is happy-- not all of the residents there are happy--but teddy is--

when i see teddy i'm sometimes ashamed of how discontented i can be--life's not fair and life's not easy--yet here is someone for whom nothing comes easy but he smiles and he laughs and he forgives all the little and big injustices he has had to go through --that's one of the reasons he so inspires me ,but it's not the main reason--i don't know what the main reason is ,but when i am with him, i feel it--kinda like he might be an angel--i truly believe there are angels among us, no doubt!

most of the stuff i think i'm going to do -i don't --but every once in awhile , i find myself actually living out one of my daydreams--i wonder if teddy does.

the Christmas play

it's getting about that time of year , yes the wonderful magical children/anyone else we can grab to be in it play time of year--yes i've been writing and directing the church Christmas play on and off for over 24 years --the last 7 in a row--haven't decided as to whether i will do it this year--i know i say that every year--but by now each year i have it all written or at least the music picked out.

i like to write it , but i started writing it out of necessity--you see we have a small number of children at our rather small church--but it does seem they started coming in much greater numbers the last few years. there is much joy in doing the play--and a load of hard work . my husband who is my right hand man is the biggest help of all and one of my good friend's is always the stage manager--she provides a large number of the kids herself, and in the early years ,it was just about only hers mine,and a very few others.

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lots of funny things have happened through the years-- i remember a couple of years ago i was sitting on the front row -as i always do ---i try to tell these people that a true director only observes from an inconspicuous spot in the audience--but they won't hear of it----so anyway this one year during one of the scene changes ( my friend and i actually had other ladies dressing them back behind the baptismal ) i look on stage and there is one of our few boys missing! i'm trying to get my friend the stage manager's eye and finally she sees me and shrugs her shoulders--like ,i have no idea where he is--then out he comes , costume ashew and almost at the end of the act-i was just glad we hadn't lost him--shhww

then there was the year i had the bright idea of letting them carry Christmas candles at the end of the play - as they walked in singing the last highly emotional song --well everything was going fine, until one of our kids with special needs decided it was time to wave to everyone with her candle --her candle that had a glass bulb in it--not only did she --but then her sister who has special needs also ,decided she was gonna wave it if her sister got to--and you guessed it --i saw them as they were falling , i lurched up as did others to try in vain to stop it--there was no stopping it and no stopping the numbers of other kids that followed suit--it was crazy--glass all over the stage --and did i mention the kids were barefoot--but would you believe it no one got hurt--we just played the song alittle longer than planned and out they marched each one gingerly stepping over the many broken glorious Christmas candles.

the last two years i've been so blessed to have almost all my grandchildren take a part in the Christmas play-- the first year they participated, the oldest one was 9 --well once he got to the practice he decided he wasn't having any part of nanny's old Christmas play--he sulked in the corner along with his younger brother--i tried my best to bribe him with candy and other things but he was having none of it--his brother was at the age ,he was gonna do or not do whatever his big brother was doing--okay ,okay that was fine --i look over during the rehearsal and the younger one was just blubbering to beat the band--i stopped the practice -went over to him and asked what was wrong--" i wanta be a Shepard in the Christmas play but bubba doesn't want to "--well do you want to i asked--he did and the practice went on --we even decided that older brother could be my script helper.

my grand-daughters were angels--we were pretty sure my oldest grand-daughter would be fine when it was time for she and her cousin to come in together,but the younger one took off like a bat ---- and beat her to the stage --they were so cute--the youngest of all at the time keep her pacifier in her mouth the whole time--it was adorable.

there are all ages that can be in the Christmas play--we had a wise man in a wheel chair--we've had girls as shepherds --Josephs that are maybe a foot shorter than Mary --and babies that have to be held to take a part--anyone who wants to take part can--------i don't encourage this --but one year we had these couple of families that weren't going to our church at the time--one of the fathers in the families had become a pastor--they came down the hall where they knew we met the morning of the play-to get everyone ready--the kids were so excited--i asked them would they like to have a "walk- on" as shepherds and angels --they were jumping up and down with delight--the poor new assistant pastor's wife was my costume manger that year-- i'll never forget her face as i asked her could she and her helpers get 6 more kids ready-- we only had about 15 minutes till show time.

but the very first Christmas play i ever wrote and directed--probably holds some of the fondest memories--it had just as many adults as kids --it was the first play the church had ,had in some time--i even held auditions -it was great--the night before the play we had our dress rehearsal--i was sick as a dog 103 fever aches ,chills-- i came to the rehearsal with a blanket wrapped around me--we had a party that night instead of a after party--i don't know how i was able to do it --i went home and my husband and i decided , i probably wouldn't make it the next day--all that work and time - i was so disappointed but so sick that i just knew i wasn't gonna be able to be there--my sister had the pivotal solo--well she called that night and said she had a really sick kid --she couldn't do it--just about all my family sings and entertains--so i got my husband to call my nephew and niece to see if they could fill in--i had a pretty good idea they would be busy--they sang lots at their church and others--they could do it!--the next morning my fever was gone and i was almost completely well- i made it .and my nephew and niece were thrilling - they brought the house down--at the end we had a gift bearers part of the service that went with the story of the play -- people came up bringing gifts with one hand and wiping their tears with the other--i'll never forget that play --i only wish someone had taped it --but you know maybe the memory of it is even better.

well i still don't know if i will do the Christmas play this year--but everyone should be apart of one at least once in their life.

waiting for fall

i guess i'm pretty much like everyone - once one season is almost over , i'm ready for the next one-kinda wishing the present one away--when i was young i didn't much care for fall ,but now i have to say it's my favorite season.

when i think of fall of course i think of falling leaves and pumpkins- but it's so much more now--the glow of autumn is magic it seems- it shines with a promise of comfort and excitement all at the same time.

i love the feel of fall the smells of fall and the idea of fall-- it's the time when i start planning my "chili day" each year the pot gets alittle larger-and you have to have cornbread with it and my special baked apples--last year i was so ready for chili day , i had it in september-- think i'll try to wait until october this year--so much better when the real fall chill is in the air.

i love to go riding in the fall with a cup of "starbucks" and a piece of their wonderful iced lemon cake; it is the best!!

i love sweaters and jeans and fires in the fireplace --this will be the first fall i've had my hair red-- i think that will go rather well with autumn, don't you. i love fall weddings ,too -- two of my nieces had their weddings in fall -- they were just lovely --the colors for the flowers made everyone warm and cozy. fall is romance -forget about spring- spring is nice for young young love , but fall has an intensity of age and emotions -- it's seen life and knows life -- the song goes " the summer knows"--but it's autumn that really know us --our loves and our regrets our passions and our hopes and desires.

i enter fall with an eager heart and let it take me where it will for autumn is in my soul.

just because i said i would

hi, i'm writing tonight because i said i would try to write every day and so far today i haven't even tried ..

nothing very exciting happened today . not that it has to for me to write. again i feel like no one is listening ,or did i share that with you here or just on facebook. i'm not really sure why it is important to me to write. yeah i want to be heard but why- what do i get from that. here i go again getting too self absorbed-- i had someone tell me today -you always make everything about you--i don't really believe they even mean what they said- who knows-but i sincerely don't think i am like that- oh well.

i know what i'll tell ya what we had for dinner -- i always like to hear what other people have to eat--we had pork short ribs --baked in the oven and barbecued -broccoli and cauliflower and red beans and rice and oh yeah devils food cake and ice-cream.

i just started to tell you a story about devil's food cake , but realized it was not the time -not on this blog.

the right timing is so important--it can make all the difference in things--like this Christmas movie i just love--"the house without a Christmas tree"-- there's this one part in it where the little girl wants to get her father to let her have a Christmas tree--her grandmother tells her to wait until after he has a good supper before she asks him- cause then he would be in a good mood.

there are so many good reasons to wait for the right moment--the trick is knowing when it is-like for instance i probably didn't pick the right time to write today - this is a bunch of crap i am writing don't think i don't know it--i just guess i wasn't gonna let my dry writing day prevent me from keeping my word to my phantom readers--if you are reading this--wow you must be very loyal--well before i convince you i am a terrible writer who has nothing to say, i will close for tonight--i could of made something up--thought about it--but how would i expose myself to my readers that way and again isn't that what mostly blogging is about--night night

a girl called janie

i don't know why i have decided to share this story with you, but i kept feeling like i am suppose to today. i usually try to write about something in my day or something in my day that ties in with a story in the past--but here goes

years ago when my husband and i had our two oldest sons and our first daughter, who was also our first handicapped child--we decided we probably wouldn't have anymore children, but would adopt a older "hard to place" child--we went to all the classes - where we were warned of all the problems one could encounter with some of these " damaged " children --it didn't scare us --for after all if we were doing okay with a severely handicapped child- how hard could it be--the only thing i was sure i couldn't handle was another handicapped child--they had them in fact they had a book just full of kids with special needs. the-caseworker also said that parents were needed for children that were now in institutions--they would continue to stay there but you could visit them and make medical decisions for them. i knew that was definitely not for me - i could never go to an institution let alone leave them there!

well after the adoption classes were over ,the case worker had a child in mind for us- an older girl--it didn't work out,as she very much wanted to stay in the foster home she had been in for 5 years--she was hoping they would adopt her - i don't know if they ever did.

time went by an i found out i was pregnant again . we were very happy about it , but scared that this child might be handicapped ,too. one day we were out picking up meds for our daughter from the county medical center--where we had taken our adoption classes ( our daughter had been dropped from our insurance)--- my husband goes into get the meds and returns with a large book -- the book of hard to place children-- seems he had run into the case worker we had had before. i was so mad at him--how could he have brought this book out , me being pregnant and all--he said we could keep the book for a week-- i vowed i would not even open it!

a few days later, the book seemed to be calling to me--i looked through it--there were so many --it was just too sad- i started to close the book, when i saw this little girl in a wheelchair- her head was deformed--it read about her--no one had visited her in her 11 years-- i cried -

when my husband came home from work that evening i was holding the book --i told him i had seen the child we had to adopt--he said wait , let me show you first the one i have picked-- he opened the book and handed it to me - it was the same little girl--we couldn't believe it--

we made a call the next day to our case worker in our county--we waited and waited--they never did anything to help us get in contact with the institution where the little girl lived--we couldn't get this child out of our minds and hearts--one day a friend of mine suggested we contact another non profit agency she had dealt with, as she had adopted children----
the next day i called - i told the woman about the book - which all the agencies had --she looked up the little girl--i almost dropped the phone when she said--oh yes , janie- i'm visiting her--in my heart i said thank you Lord--for truth be told, yes i felt so sorry for her , but if God had someone else that was willing to take her ,than i was off the hook--she told me no no that she was only visiting as a social worker--we decided to meet--

as i was due with my baby in a couple of weeks , we decided to wait until after the baby-so we wouldn't have to stop the visits for a time--i had my baby--another girl--she spent the first month in the nicu--it looked like she had the same handicap as my older daughter--we were crushed--but she came home - we loved her to death--and life went on-

in july that year we made our first visit to janie--she was so sweet--but i was very worried about taking care of 3 handicapped children --i knew i didn't want to be a parent to her and leave her there--of course for her , but also because it was so sad to come every week to this institution--i had never seen so many helpless pitiful people--i felt sick every time we went--eventually we became more and more used to it--the visits and the plans to adopt her and bring her home continued-

it seems the case worker (not the one that brought us to her ) from her county of birth was the birth mother's best friend--when we met with her she told me how the family had never come to see janie and how she had tried her best to convince them to visit--she was sure they never would--during that time i had strongly felt the Lord telling me to go ahead with the plan to adopt her, but that her birth family was going to come to see her--i asked janie's case worker to try one more time with the birth family--before we got any deeper into the adoption process-- she assured me that she knew them and it was no use-they did not ever want to see her-

then one day as i was fixing dinner the case worker that had introduced us to janie, called--she said janie's caseworker had called and she said are you sitting down-- her birth family is begging you not to adopt her--they want to meet with you--i was not surprised-i knew i had heard right

we were very torn--janie had many many medical problems and many services they would not provide in our home--she would have to be transported alot--i knew in my heart that if my children had her problems i would still keep them at home--but i also knew if we brought her home her birth parents would most certainly not be in her life- and i really felt janie would want them in her life

after we met with them - we felt some what different about them-- i still could not see how they could have never come to see her--but i also understood that stupid doctors had told them to put her away and forget about her--that they weren't capable of taking care of her--and really that was and is part of the system's problem --they made too much money to get any help with her at home but not enough for some of her needs--it's so messed up

after several visits with janie and her birth parents - we decided that we would not adopt janie- but there were two conditions- they had to agree to visit her every week and we would still be able to visit weekly-- they agreed --and until janie's death at 17 that's what we did -- her birth family came every saturday and us every sunday

i think of janie so often and wonder if we made the right decision --but mostly i believe we were just asked to be willing to adopt her-- God always knew the healing janie needed from her birth family and the healing her birth family so needed-- i can still see her smiling face and hear her infectious laugh-- she made a huge difference in our lives and will forever live in our hearts.

" kids say the darnest things "

i was talking to my good friend today- trying to cheer her up --she had just gotten home from the hospital, - her grandson had surgery

we started remembering things about our kids etc.-- so i thought i would share some of the better most embarrassing things our kids and kids we love have said, maybe someone else needs a laugh today

one time my daughter was having a medical test done- she was not very happy about it and became very - well let's say gassy-- we were at a catholic hospital and there was a little nun in the room with us ( for some reason ) --i turned her way and explained --yes she has some gas it seems--my son says mom mom i know another word for gas--and me with my mind on my daughter preceded to ask - oh really what is it --FART, he cries out- certainly loud enough for the people in the next room to hear and most definitely the sweet little red faced nun !

then there is another son of mine that managed to top that, one fine day at our baptist church- i was keeping the nursery with a dear prim and very proper older lady of the church--snack time arrived with it's usual crackers and juice --my darling little one exclaims--at home we like BEER with our crackers--she only smiled and nodded as i told her i didn't know where he could have got that since we most certainly did not drink

but probably one of the best worst ones came from my cousin's little girl (thank goodness) - while shopping in a very nice small jewelry store her daughter looks at the man who is waiting on her mother and then looks at her mother and asks-- mommy does he have a PENIS-- but the worst part is my cousin, not knowing what to say -- answers -- i don't know honey--