Memorial day days

this weekend will start the grilling and picnicking--family get-togethers and pool openings in many areas----

as we celebrate and remember our dear veterans that paid the ultimate price for our wonderful freedom-

my family certainly thinks and reflects on the true meaning of memorial day, but we also use this weekend to celebrate my son colin's birthday, and now his wife, kelli's----colin was born, almost on memorial day, as i went into labor with him on that day and he was born around 1 something the day after memorial day-

this is why i am always saying labor day when referring to memorial day----

when i first started blogging, i felt the need to mention all of my kids and grand-kids on their birthdays---it became too much, so this is not a birthday post per-say-----

i make deviled eggs, probably once a year if that---it is on this birthday of my son colin--as of course, they are one of his favs--

i am not yet committing to preparing them---we will see how things and time go-----a dish that my mother could whip up in no time, has always proved a huge challenge and dread for me---fact is, kelli made them for our Easter family dinner----i can't get her to do it because her birthday and colin's being so close, it is her party too-

a couple of years ago---i remember it well----robyn and i were making the deviled eggs, pasta salads and cakes--one for both colin and kelli----ahead of time---it was a Sunday and i was bone tired from church and just a long day---

that night robyn had made colin's yellow cake---it was in a sheet cake pan------it was ready to come out of the oven and the chocolalte batter was ready for the next pan for kelli's special cake--i was hurrying to get the pasta pan off the burner and out of the way of colin's cake pan----

while i was draining the pasta at the sink---i hear a noise that i do not recognize, it was an explosion kinda like a cross between a bomb with gun shots----i froze----only to hear robyn screaming----"i'm sorry mom, i'm sorry----

i was stunned, i couldn't figure out what had just happened--i turn around and glass is all over the kitchen, tiny shards of broken splattered cake and glass---the cake pan, which was the clear glass kind had burst into a trillion pieces at least-----

i went into emergency mode---talking in hushed tones as i tried to calm robyn and myself down---good-no one was hurt------but what in the world made the cake go kaboom---

oh no--in my hurry to remove the pasta pan, i had left the burner on---right where the cake pan was placed-

it was clearly my fault, i assured robyn----as tired as we both were---we had the most colossal clean up to do---

we managed to get it all done---both cakes were ruined and the pasta salad--too many crunchy glass pieces---

but thank the good Lord those dag gone deviled eggs had been put away---otherwise i might have gone crazy and i would not even be pondering this weekend about those devilish eggs--

a strange thing happened at walmart

the other day frank and i were in walmart--frank was going through the check-out line, so i decided to look at the bathing suits, for robyn---she wasn't with me----

i am causally browsing through the many suits, when up comes this young lady, probably in her late twenties--she is almost dashing towards me--"i really need some help"---

okay i think, i ask her does she mean with the bathing suits and she says yes---i look at her, kinda leery -- but am secretly a little flattered that she wants my opinion--so i start to show her ones that i think would flatter her skin tone and so on---she doesn't seem to be listening to my wonderful fashion advice, but starts pulling out, what i thought, was probably the least attractive suit they had----i tell her that yellow would look awesome on her, but she is clearly not interested----she even looked as though she might be trying to get away from me---

i look over and frank has finished checking out and looking around for me---i tell her good luck and she sorta mutters an uh huh-----

strange, so strange i think----frank and i are busy with our next stops of the day, so i forget to even mention this odd occurrence to him-

fast forward to yesterday, it came back to my mind, i start to tell robyn about it-

"hey robyn, something really strange happened to me the other day at walmart, i have been meaning to tell someone---well this lady comes up to me and wants my help with choosing a bathing suit"---

before i can continue--robyn interrupts, "mom, was it saturday, you were wearing a dark blue shirt, right--she just thought you worked there"--

now the light had just been flicked on---of course that was what it was, she thought i could help her find the right size to go with the bottoms she was holding--now that i thought of it, she did keep telling me she wore a medium--

robyn laughed until she couldn't breath---she just couldn't get that i thought the lady was wanting my advice and not just asking because she thought i was an employee--

but seriously it had not even entered my mind, that this was what was happening---

i guess the young woman, did pull back from me as i took her literally and preceded to tell her what kind of bathing suit she should get--

isn't it funny how the simplest explanations don't register sometimes--although frank and robyn say that is just with me----oh well her loss, the yellow one was definitely the best for her

the window sill

she touched the end of the window sill, wiping the dust as she did---how many times had she looked out that porthole-

the birds chirped outside, their voiced muffled against the thick glass of reflection-

she knew it was all still there, she could climb the massive oak in her dreams and pick the huge hydrangeas, spilling the water as she filled the crystal vase so carefully she tried-

the faces the hum of the conversation the company the cornbread, the rest-

in her past for sure, but equally as comfy in the shadows of  time---maybe more enjoyable yet delicate--

don't swing too high---

oh how that table would brim with delights, her tongue tingling with anticipation

she closed her eyes as a breeze rushed by----don't go grandmother--don't go uncle........

she ran her finger all the way across the sill now and gently holding  the dust and mildew under her nostril--she breathed in the past--

dana shared a poem

i read a poem today, dana found it--and shared it and touched my soul---she saw my heart and stole the fact, that i had hidden such a part of me for so long--

i sparkled and shined as i read the poet's stir and swallowed my emotion so deep down, i thought i would float--i don't know where and i don't know when--but it will return and it may be different and it may not be good--but it will be there---standing and holding out it's arms to me and saying--i do sort of remember you---you look a little older, but your longings sound the same-


i read a poem today and it transported me back and although my feelings could betray me and it be only this instant, of renewed hope and gratitude that come of this----i still know, the poets soul is restless and it bends and tears at my being to let it be

the kreativ blogger award

 thank you gina  and julie for this award --you are both such encouraging people and i love your blogs!

Now for the rules:

1.   Thank and link back to the person who presented you with the award. 

2.   Answer the ten questions below.

3.   Share ten random facts/thoughts about yourself.

4.   Nominate seven worthy blogs for the Kreativ Blogger Award.

Ten Questions:

What is your favorite song?

taxi by harry chapin

What is your favorite dessert?

shoney's hot fudge cake.

What ticks you off?

men when they do not give a women the right away--not on the road but in a store etc.

When you're upset, what do you do?

eat--cry

Which is/was your favorite pet?

i cannot answer with one

Which do you prefer to wear, black or white?

hmmm this is a hard one--i guess black

What is your biggest fear?

bad things happening to my love ones

What is your attitude mostly?
 hopeful

What is perfection?

me winning the lottery--and knowing that everyone is okay and happy.

What is your guilty pleasure?

the housewives shows--mostly atlanta ...

Ten Random Things About Me:
1. i dye my hair
2. i hate to go barefoot
3. i hate the notebook movie
4. i love a bargain
5. i wanted my daughter's dance studio to do a kinda dance moms before the hit show
6. i used to be a fitness instructor--stop laughing
7. i love love love to buy gifts for people--don't tell me what you collect, if you don't want me to got buy you something
8. i have 31 fish tanks on fishworld on facebook--but i am not actively playing--and have no fish in the tanks now
9. i played abigail from the crucible in high school
10. i love having my feet rubbed more than my back

here are some wonderful bloggers that i am passing this award to--check them out!
1.pam
2.rch
3.cleemckenzie
4.michelle
5.juli
6.donna
7.kmckendry

the best of birthdays

today is my birthday--the rest of the week i am probably going to be pretty busy--especially since robyn's birthday is tomorrow!

i just missed posting and hearing from everyone--and this is not a shameless attempt to get birthday wishes!!

i would like you if you care to comment today to tell me about one of your favorite birthdays or the worse--and maybe the greatest gift you recieved--

okay surely i will tell you the greatest birthday i had was when i went into the hospital and robyn was born the next day---

but i would like to get a little materialistic on ya today and give frank a little credit--which i may have to take back, if today doesn't go too well--hahaha


on my 26th birthday, frank gave me a huge box--it was so heavy and i could not imagine what was in it----oh wait, if you are not familiar with frank and his gift giving prowess, than please refer back to the a-z challenge and look at letter "g"-----

well i opened it and still could not tell what it was, it was rounded and bronze and as i carefully took it out of the tissue paper, i started to recognize it---it was a baby's bust---

i could not believe what i was seeing---frank and i had recently visited our local art museum, which we used to do at least once a year--it is kinda my thing----back to the baby's bust----that day we had gone into the gift shop---which i love almost as much---well who am i kidding, more than the museum itself----

i had casually, i thought, commented how beautiful it was--and of course it resembled our babies---

it was a reproduction of an artist's rendition of his son------

i am still amazed how frank thought of it and made an extra trip to purchase this wonderful piece of art i had shown an interest in----and it was fifty dollars--which even today would be a lot of money for him to spend on one gift---

i still love it----and one side note that came back to me as i was writing this---when my mother saw this treasure frank had so lovingly given me, she said--"it's pretty, but don't ever get me anything like that"---we laughed and laughed

so that gift was probably the greatest tangible material gift frank ever gave me---i know, what about the spinning wheel---well that might have been, if he had thought about it on his own :)

the weekend---

okay--so as a style of blogging--you can tell how i mostly write what i know--something i am thinking about--something that has actually happened to me--or sometimes a poem---

but as i have shared with you before--this writing stuff is kinda hard for me sometimes--because there is no way i can be honest in my writings--not totally----for one thing some people would not want me to---and another---i would look bad----

okay--the truth--sorta-----

my weekend--taught me some lessons or re-taught me---again, i can't really tell you all of those lessons---but i will try to share some out-skirts of the feelings involved-

i was going to say never build something up too big in your mind--but on second thought--maybe you should--because maybe the anticipation of things, is what is the best part of most of life's little goodies anyhow--

nothing really went wrong this weekend--robyn had her testing---it was very good----she went to the prom and of course i think she looked beautiful----and then there was mother's day---i got through it-

did the lunch thing, one of my sons came by, missed him--talked to my other son---went by the graves--put the rose they gave me at lunch on my mom's grave--daddy was really sad--i was really sad---blah blah blah--

meanwhile my poor daughter and husband tried to make it a wonderful day--and i smiled and acted very well--no i really did--after all it is not about me, right---i mean that is not what they set you up for with mother's day, is it--

i suddenly feel the need to pull back from my minute of honesty and start defending myself--remember i told you how i have an issue with this--

it is not because i do not get the attention i think i deserve---it is the day is a sad one------

okay, something so sweet that happened yesterday----during church, this very sweet lady came up to me and told me she was thinking about my five angels, today---how even though she had never met them--she felt like she knew them and how hard she knew this day was for me--

i am fairly certain this dear friend does not read my blog--and by the way she has no children herself--what a selfless person she is-----it touched me deeply----no one ever speaks of my kids---it was so comforting to know, that God had put it on her heart to remember them and me-----

so back to my lessons i may have learned or been reminded of this weekend--

it is not about me---it is not about my daughter---it is not about school----it is not about church--

it is about life--and living it and not letting your mind get too wrapped up in what you want, what you expect and what you think is rightfully yours-

life will let ya know all you need to know--so just hang on and if ya can't enjoy the ride--at least don't dread it-