Before?
It seems like the logical choice for today- but feels kinda like I’m not trying
Before what- before my life changed completely- before the foot rubs stopped- before when Saturday mornings were spent drinking coffee and planning our years together or just that afternoon outing
See why this feels kinda lazy - kinda self indulgent- but it’s okay- I’m giving myself a pass- maybe even a good pat on the back
It’s too hard not to think about before- there is a fine line between living in the past- and getting through the present by comforting one’s self with sweet memories
Before is a luxury to some- a beautiful thing to recall times places and people- a place of familiarity - a place where the events are possibly sweeter than in actuality or maybe even deeper joys that our minds can’t completely replicate
So I’m sticking with before today and wondering if we might find out that life’s in some ways just a big circle and I’m getting ready to walk into before
I do think life can be described as a big circle with some events. It certainly seems to repeat itself with history and the like. Before can be painful but I'm thinking sometimes thinking of it, in short bursts, might be healing. Kind of bring it out for a bit, think about it, then re-shelf it. I've not lost a spouse but I have lost other things of significance and sometimes I wonder about "what ifs" and allow myself a few minutes to wonder about it then try to move on. I think though we all have to do whatever we can to get through our days and the hard times we always are faced with.
ReplyDeletebetty
I always enjoy and appreciate your insights!🥰
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