sometimes it is the little things

I was thinking about our local Christmas parade this morning and how as a child and honestly I still love all the balloons stuffed animals and cool all around stuff you can buy there

It's like at the fair-  a trip each year wouldn't have been complete without a special trinket or at least a candy Apple!

So many of my fondest childhood memories are of such times and things-

Whether it was our weekly trip to the grocery store where mama let me spend all my pennies in the glorious dittle machines or the regular stops at our quaint five and dime store to pick out that perfect teeny tiny baby doll- it was a moment of magic- a breathless sample of childhood

So as you travel with your precious children through this soon to be a frosted recollection of heartbeats-- just remember sometimes it is the little "things" they will remember and smile

"let them eat cake"...or not

Well amazing-- I am blogging again before the next az challenge- my life is a little troubled lately- nothing really that big in the scheme of life- but today I choose to write about something else


A couple of days ago- Frank and Robyn went to Wal-Mart- I stayed home with Miller (remember Robyn's baby) Frank calls me from the store- wanting to know if I wanted a cake that was marked down-

They had a red velvet and a Boston cream cake- which one- they were both under $3 so I said hey go ahead and get both- we can freeze one

Now as you might recall- I have some problems with my blood sugars- so probably should have passed on both- but was looking forward to a piece later that evening

Just before bed I ask if anyone wants a piece of those cakes and which one did Robyn put into the freezer

She doesn't remember- doesn't want any and Frank didn't either- so I decide it's too much trouble for just me- so off to bed- no cake

Next day Robyn and I are loading up Miller and all his paraphernalia in the car for a quick trip- Robyn screams like there's a huge spider or something

I rush to see what is wrong-- "the cakes- I left them in the car all night!"-- oh man I thought- we thought of lying to Frank and saying we discovered they had mold

Robyn instead confessed and Frank said it was his fault too- as they had both brought in the groceries

Oh well maybe God was once again saving me from myself!

the trip to the Zoo

Today as we mark the end of this journey- however small- it has been a journey of sorts- I end with a day- One of those days you don't see as it's happening- how many times you will look back on it

It was close to the end of the school year- my class was taking a trip to the D.C. national zoo-

The weather was perfect
I dressed that morning very carefully- making sure mama curled my medium brown shoulder length hair just to my liking

When I got on the huge tour bus- there was my classmate neighbor and best friend - she was wearing the exact same dress- we were thrilled!

I don't know if our mothers had secretly planned this or not- it was a khaki style dress sleeveless and had pockets on the top part- it was a dress that could be worn today

I remember the excitement of it all- the best part was my friend was also my trip partner- so of course we got to sit together the whole way there and back- and her mom who was like another mom to me too- was one of the chaperones!

We stopped at "Stuckey's" - I had only been there a couple of times- it was a place you could get gas- eat and buy endless trinkets and souvenirs- I can't recall what I purchased there but it may have been a pecan log

On the bus ride home another friend shared her brownies her grandmother had made and sent for the trip- they were so delicious- more like a cake brownie

As you can tell this day is indelibly etched in my memory as one of the best childhood days - even though I don't remember one poor animal we saw that spring day--for most of our treasured times are more about the journey

Yesterday

Catch a glimpse of it in the mirror of life
too quick sometimes to grab

Maybe in a scent a sideways look
that memory you just can't bring

Those days were here minutes ago you would bet your last dollar you just saw them

Even the lonely scenes the aching ones
they're all muffled together in one long yesterday

the Xs and os of it

My sister in law Joy always finishes a card -fb post or message with xoxo-

Believe it or not I was quite up in age before I realized what those two little letters meant- and being honest- I still get confused as to which one is the kiss or hug

It's quaint how some people sign their cards or other written communication to one another

My sister Ruth most always has a side note- it usually contains a bible passage- it's like "Queenie" My grandmother used to do

I have these friends and the woman sends cards frequently- we can't help but guess each time- whose name will be signed-as she randomly does not include her husband's with her's-

Then there's my dad- whenever he would send my mother a birthday card or anniversary card- if he signed it at all- he would sign- Robert Weaver-

the Whoopie cushions

A couple of years ago I found a bunch of "whoopie cushions" on clearance for 50 cents I think-- we were having a family get together that week so I picked enough up for the grandchildren-

Now I don't particularly find them amusing but I had a pretty good hunch the kids small and big ones might

They had such fun with those things - that I found myself laughing with abandonment as they plopped down on them

As a child you would not find a whoopie cushion in our house- I didn't think for a long time I was suppose to have gas- certainly not anything that could make that whoopie cushion noise

You see I never heard my mother pass gas or as she would say- "expel gas"-- and we better not refer to it in any other way either!

I didn't even know the f word- the other f word until I was grown

And as far as my daddy went- I had never heard him either- although I reasoned that he did- cause whenever we smelled something bad my mother would say "I reckon it's your daddy"

To this day if I am ever around my brother - especially in a church setting - he will turn to me with the straightest face and whisper to me - "did you expel gas"

Victory in Jesus

A few years ago my father's short term memory was failing- One of the things he had to give up doing was teaching his Sunday school class- I can't say how long dad had been teaching that class but a great number of years-

The class was passed to my husband Frank- now if you may have read some of my very early posts- you might recall how Frank has worn a lot of hats at church- much like my dad- but I suspect his favorite is teaching-

I tend to see people and situations like stories or maybe a documentary- this class is full of rich material for a bestselling novel

It consists of my sweet Dad of course--then there is a nice man that started coming with his dad- who happened to be the oldest man in the church- sadly he passed away not too long ago- I'm so happy the son still attends-

Then there is a guitarist- an artist- and a former school principal with such an amazing voice-- Dr.W is also the co teacher-- and there's one man that has the sweetest face and disposition-- he reminds me of the neighbor in the first Home Alone

There are two fellows that keep things going- one greets everyone each Sunday morning with a smile and a bulletin
The other one is the vice chairman of the deacon board and he greets everyone too

One of the class members is a pastor- not our official church pastor- but a former missionary- now he and his dear wife could have their own separate story-

Back to the artist- this man is very intriguing- I have to share his name- "Virgil"- now could there be another name with more southern charm- and he is just like his name implies

Since Frank has been teaching he has the class start with a hymn or two
"Victory in Jesus" has become their mantra
Recently our choir director asked them to sing it in the worship service

And something else sweet- they keep a basket full of candy for all to enjoy-

*I know it touched Frank yesterday as this was the last hymn sung at his cousin Larry's celebration of life service

Unity

Once again the older I get the more I appreciate unity-- of course there are things in this life that will do their best to prevent unity at any cost

Jesus said "For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother"

As Christians we should be a light to the world bringing unity where at all possible-- I think what Jesus was saying was that our belief in him would be a lightening rod for conflict-- the Bible also tells us "if at all possible live peaceably with all men"

Unity doesn't mean we have to agree but human respect should lead us to the desire of unity

I guess when you're looking at life closer to the end than the beginning the tug of peace pulls stronger

our Treasures

"For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also"-- Matthew 6:21

Where each one's treasure is- is only known in their heart- deep in the part of a person's desires

The bible teaches that if we put God first- He will give us the desires of our heart- for He certainly knows every desire

These days my desires are for family and friends joy comfort- blessings in this life and a place in the afterlife I believe and trust in

And the desire to spend more time with the ones I love- to show them more and more the best I can- how much they mean to me and the depth of my good desires towards them

Sure I still have some material desires- that neat old house- the river or beach house- where my family could spend weeks or even weekends together

As this letter comes today- I would like to dedicate it to my husband's first cousin Larry- he has gone to his heavenly home- oh how Frank treasures the childhood memories of their times together❤

the 4 Ss

The older I get the more enjoyment I have - doing things that relax me

I have long found "search a word puzzles" comforting and somewhat challenging

I think the part that I like the most is the feel of the pen circling words but the best part is crossing them off the list

I have always found "solitaire" addicting and couldn't see myself doing it on the computer- but hey I'm doing it!

I play this game with myself- I see how many times I beat solitaire in a row and say I hit it six times- then I stop

A new love of mine is "Sudoku" - my grandson used to do these number puzzles when he was very young

I would look at them and think geez
I don't get it-

Now I relish the sudoku time

Lastly- I can really get into "songpop"

You hear a small bit of a song and compete to beat the time of another player
I'm learning a lot but in my picks I tend to stay in the 60-70s music- If I want to win!

Happy relaxing!

for the Record

Seems like I've used a good number of songs in my az this year

Frank has an extensive album collection from back in the day- I have not bought many records or albums in my life but here is a few that have been favorites in my life- ones I have actually purchased or been given by people who knew I was a fan-

First 45 I ever got- "easier said than done" by the essex loved loved that song

One Christmas I got - John Denver's first album- I adored his music - still could kick myself for not going to see him in my city- the spring before he died

That same Christmas- I was given Don McLean "American pie"- another one that inspired

My friends gave me a surprise bday party on my 21- they thrilled me with Coldblood's "Thriller"- Lydia Pense's rendition of "you are the sunshine of my life"- gorgeous

Now the next two were not albums but I can't tell you how romantic it makes me feel when I listen to the cd my son Colin gave me--Michael Feinstein's "isn't it romantic"

And big fan of Kenny Kravitz"baptism"-- awesome

So just a sampling of my musical influences-

Queenie

I want to mention my granddaughter with a q name- My youngest granddaughter Quinlan- I didn't make this post about her although she could fill a book! But I decided a while back not to write posts about only a particular grandchild- they could probably care less but I worry haha!


Today I thought I would elaborate on my main character in my short story "Queenie's Bequest"

If you have been a long time reader you may remember that the story is based on my paternal grandmother whose real name was "Queenie"

Just some things I would like you to know about her

She dressed around the house like a pauper but dressed up quite nicely when she went out- she saved her good clothes for others

She made corn shuck mats and piece quilts

She never ate lunch with us but instead walked back and forth- waiting on us- occasionally stopping to stand at the table and chat

She always had a garden and worked like a horse

She had many things she said- all of which we repeat to this day-

"That is a treat love" and the kinda inside joke "be sure and wipe your hips love"

As you can tell- she is remembered fondly and often

I can still see her welcoming us in and standing in the yard- waving until we were far out of sight-

First post of Queenie's Bequest



This was my Grandmother's stove-- it's in my house

Push

To push or not to push-

I think I probably should admit right off that as a parent I have tended to go the route of not pushing my kids

I recall telling my children more than once- If you are really stressing out about something- ask yourself- am I just afraid- do I want to do whatever it is- do I have to do it- and how do you think you might feel later if you choose not to do something

I figure- there is so much we have to do and so much we have no choice in - that fretting about all of it just becomes too much for kids and adults!

So there is a time to push and a time for me to try and see the greater picture

I mean ya gotta push em out of the bed sometimes- to clean- etc etc

Pushing too much can cause insecurity and fear- sometimes knowing you don't have to do something can push you right past the fear-

Only

Only- One of the saddest most frustrating little words-

If only being the worst- If only I had visited longer the last time with my grandmother-- If only I had gone to see my uncle the night before he died

Most of our "if onlys"- are regrets - things we can't go back and alter or change- things we feel certain that we would- If only we were granted one more opportunity

In a smaller way - only presents hardship too- you can pick only one- you can only have this much- you can only go if-

There is a positive look at only- in romantic songs or promises

But to me the tiny word only is most unpleasant and final

Netflix

We finally have netflix- we had some trouble getting it until my son Colin came over to the rescue

Thought you might like to know what we have been watching

First we watched "house of cards"- hooked right away- we do find ourselves fast forwarding a lot- due to some rather racy scenes we can do without

Kevin Spacey is superb and Robin Wright- well can't see anyone else as Claire- the theme music is really catchy

If you are looking for a good belly laugh and like British humor-"Cuckoo" just might be your cup of tea

I have to say "Bloodline" has been my favorite series in Netflix- Sissy Spacek stars and is wonderful- it's set in the Florida Keys-

One of the most surprising treasures has been re-watching the tv series "Parenthood" - Robyn suggested it and I reluctantly agreed

I can't tell you how much we are all enjoying this wonderful show again

Funny thing too- all the acting is top notch but the first go round I didn't care too much for Jason Ritter- him or his character- now I find him totally endearing and maybe my favorite

Needless to say we are glad to finally have Netflix!

Mercy

"With what mercy you show you will be shown"

The bible tells us this
And that people that realize they have much to be forgiven for will be the most grateful

Is offering mercy to others a challenge for you

As a believer of Jesus Christ I know the ability to show mercy comes from my understanding Jesus's great sacrifice for me

As a mother I sometimes think God puts that gift of mercy towards others in our mother's heart- for our children first and it grows outward from that point on

We are a society of justice and laws- often mercy has no place in our responsibility to the greater good of the whole

Each day though we can choose mercy in simple circumstances-

If we view others as our children then we are more likely to feel the desire to show mercy

We know that God is a just God - but people seem to not be as knowledgeable of God's constant mercies

I guess if as mothers we saw everyone as we did our own children then mercy would rule the hearts of the world

the LIMBO party

I was probably around 8 or 9--that would have made my oldest sister 18 or 19 and my other sister somewhere around 13-

I don't remember if it was my sister Martha's birthday or if Ruth was just throwing a beatnik/limbo party for her

Ruth and Lewis were still newlyweds- who lived upstairs in an old house - their apartment was very cool- I thought it was the best place ever-

I had been included in this magical night- although all the other guests were friends of my sister Martha

Everyone wore black pants and most people had a black turtle neck type sweater-

The lights were very dim and I guess there was typical beatnik style music on the stereo

The limbo was hard but not as hard when you were a short bendy kid

I wish I could recall what we used for the limbo stick- I think it may have been an actual limbo stick

This is one of those childhood times that made it into the best memory category

As I write this from the dark recesses of time- I give that evening 10 snaps!

Kindness

Kindness may be letting someone go ahead of you in the grocery line

Maybe sending someone a card- or cutting your neighbor's grass

Kindness is rarer than you might think-a dying art perhaps

Now there are people who say there is always an abundance of kindness- you just have to notice it

I think we see the lack of kindness when we are being kind- it's not that we may be doing something to be appreciated for it- but reality is reality-

If you find yourself tired of well doing - know that there is an unlimited number of people that would love and welcome any kindness- so find them

Like the bible says-- "do not return evil for evil"--- and also "don't call evil good or good evil"--

In purity of spirit we would not recognize the lack of kindness or the empty response to ours

While in this world we will surely accept kindnesses without a thought and fail to render the smallest benevolence

After all we are in a self contained me machine - one that seeks for the most part of it's lonely needy journey -  comfort at any cost -constantly measuring each kindness

June

June is my favorite month of summer- ironically the June bugs don't arrive here until later in the summer

The weather is almost perfect in sunny June-- guess that's why it's the bride's fav pic too-

My oldest sister got married in June- I was the flower girl-

We used to go on our beach trips in June and if we can manage it we still try June

One of the problems with June vacations is the school year ending later and later- way into June

June has me planning and planting- the small front yard garden looks pretty good in June- not so good by mid July

I'm looking forward to this coming June- what's your favorite summer month?

Robyn in my wedding dress when she was 15

Innocence

When I look at my grandchildren I see innocence - not that they can't or don't do wrong but their hope and dreams

Thankfully the world has not beaten them and they still wake most days with the feeling that anything is possible

It is a shame that in order to normally grow and mature we lose a lot of our innocence and our dreams

Is innocence similar to ignorance- maybe in some circumstances

Ironicly the lost of innocence leads us to greater compassion and love

While the innocence of one's youth is usually short lived- the time of innocence prepares us for life

It allows us to remember and reflect on a gentler time

But without the lost of our innocence we would remain childlike

Looking for our desires our comfort our joy

So as we sometimes grieve our loss - look outward for the reasons for that inevitable loss of innocence

Honesty- Honestly?

How often do you fib- or stretch the total honest truth about a matter

I have thought about honesty a lot more lately - how it's almost impossible to know if something or someone is representing the real truth and nothing but the truth

Now I know there are many occasions where the cold stark truth seems brutal and unnecessary

But is it- would things be better if that teacher had told you how badly you really sang or your husband had told you that favorite dinner you keep making him is not his favorite and please don't make it anymore

What if your neighbor told you they hated your house color and they were the one's that reported you to the home association

Do we claim we tell the honest truth- when perhaps it is only to the people we don't care about hurting

Is the truth subjective
-
I think only our heart if seen could sort out our honest motives

But next time you are wounded by honesty-- ask yourself was it warranted does it help what can you do with it-- or was it someone having a bad day and wanting to give you a piece of their mind- I mean honest evaluation

Grapes and Green

Lately I've heard a couple of things about grape juice that are new news to me
First it seems to ward off if not prevent migraines

Also if you think you may have been exposed to the stomach virus- you should drink grape juice- it's something in it that attacks a certain bacteria-

Green - I think it was my mother's favorite color and one of if not both of my "dil's" fav too

The last year or so before my mother died she was constantly talking about how green everything was

She was convinced the green was greener than ever before and bigger and taller-
As we would take car rides she was amazed by this occurrence- and determined that we all see what she saw

I didn't

 But recently my daughter and I were saying the same thing as we rode in the country one day-

How I wished I could have noticed how much greener things have become when my mother did

Future

would you want to know the future----

I guess most of us are alike in that we would like to see into the future if it were good

of course there are good things people prefer to leave in the future as a good surprise---like the sex of a baby

then there are ones who want all the testing they can have just in case their pregnancy brings an unwanted surprise----knowing some of the future allows them to prepare to some degree

if we knew a loved one was going to die this year---yes we would spend  perhaps more quality time with them---but it would be prejudiced by the information for sure-

we could alter things but if the future was set---what would be the point in most cases----I think for the probably the major stuff it is best not to know---

and while saying that--I admit I think I would rather have an illness that gives me time to say farewells to family and friends and plenty of comfort care also

I believe some of us wouldn't have even thought of most of our major future events ----

so to me it's a grace that we don't know too much----that we wake drink our coffee or tea----watch the news and make our plans until they change-

Enough?

"Enough is enough and too much stinks"- my mother used to say this- I was never quite sure what she meant by this strange saying-

I guess enough is highly objective if not impossible to define in some situations

Is 2million enough- 3kids enough- 2 second chances to someone enough

And could it possibly be that the portion of cheesecake according to serving size be enough

Remember you can't get enough of a good thing- now that makes me really ponder my mother's dear saying

Do we ever have enough time- I guess sometimes we feel we do- do we ever have enough time with love one's

Now that stinking part- okay maybe with fish and house guests-
But not enough sunny days- not enough fond memories- not ever enough stories or quaint phrases to recall one's mother saying-- happy birthday mother-

                   My mother and me

Doubts- Dove Chocolate- Dreams

Doubts - dove chocolate- dreams

No doubt most people love chocolate- I was just talking to my sister Ruth about how chocolate really isn't my big temptation but over Easter I have to tell you that dove stuff is something else

Now if my dil Adie reads this- know that I purchased a bag of dove after Easter!

I think dove is better than godiva but honestly I think my absolute fav is cadbury- a bit harder to find these days

That reminds me- one time when I was pregnant and very sick- I sent Frank to 7-11 to get me one of those giant chocolate candy bars'-

When he got home with it- he tells me he saw someone we knew from church- I think it was my friend Alicia- I ask him- did they ask who you were buying the chocolate for-- Frank assures me they did and he was happy to tell them it was ALL for his huge pregnant wife- now yes I'm sure he didn't say quite that but he may as well have

I was so mad at him I only ate half of it

Okay this is running kinda long- gotta fit doubts and dreams in here somewhere-
Got it- I doubt Frank innocently revealed the massive candy bar was for me and he's dreaming if he thinks I will ever forget it!

Caravatis

there's this place in our city that has all kinds of stuff from old houses and buildings---it's a warehouse set-up with a small sorta gift shop area----now it's been around since 1939 and somehow I only discovered it about 25 yrs ago-----

I love it---it is mostly unaffordable for me but over the years we have managed to purchase two front doors and a mantle at quite a bargain----

it's something about this place that comforts me and peaks my sense of nostalgia and mystic---

they have tons of stuff----doors---fence pieces----sometimes gorgeous huge stained glass windows from area churches----there are lots of old sinks and claw foot tubs----old stoves and pedestal sinks---and an endless array of doorknobs and other ornamental objects from homes and businesses--

in the winter you must wear your coat and be prepared to get hot in the summer----only the small shop has air or heat---

My daughter Robyn

My son Colin

 

 

 

Our mantle from Caravatis

to B or not to B---

I admit I am already stumped by this letter---and I should confess this writing challenge will be a bit more scattered than previous post had stated--

babies--quite the natural pick for me this last year and almost a half-----

they are indeed one of if not the best things in the earthly life---- they change one---challenge one and comfort one-----

my story of babies in my recent past is not my story to tell but I couldn't let this letter pass without an honorable mention---- so here's to babies---whether in heaven or on earth with us for some of our journey----may the good Lord bless and keep you--

blessings----the older I get the clearer blessings become and the beauty they bring to our life cannot be overstated-----it may be a big blessing or a little one----just recognizing their existence is a blessing----being a blessing is a major blessing and something you can give others that you never run out of--


beauty-----when I think of beauty this song comes to my mind immediately----at my son T's funeral my niece Jennifer sang it with eyes closed----I shall never forget it ---how I wish I had a video of her singing it to share today--

A-Z CHALLENGE 2016- DAY ONE A

I really enjoy the az thingy---it's actually the last time that I blogged-----it's something about the set time---I don't know---it works for me

this year I plan to post each letter about things I am liking---words that fit my moods over these last few months----places---foods---it could be anything---sometimes it may be multiple ones---other letters perhaps one thing or idea----I begin with APPLE PIE

this Easter I purchased two marked down walmart apple cinnamon pies---yes they looked good--very large and the crust rose with the placement of the apples---very rustic appearance ---but I suspected they wouldn't be very good---just another choice on the dessert table---apple not being even in my top 10 list of pies--

boy it was good----tender crust---tart but soft apples----the best apple pie frank and I have ever had----great find!

ANIMAL PRINT---now honestly not a huge fan----but these shoes---well you would have to walk a mile in them to get what I mean---

when I knew it would be time for robyn to have her baby soon---I bought them---dressy enough for hospital short stays-----but the 38 day stay for her baby would challenge the best of shoes----

these shoes are probably the most comfortable ones I can remember----and I have had so many compliments on them----I keep meaning to go back and buy the black version

ANTHROPOLOGIE---the store----I don't go there often but when I do---I rarely buy anything but am always inspired so-----this last trip there I was very impressed how they had waters and the cutest vanilla cupcakes for their customers---I don't know why I didn't take one!

APATHY----now I never gave this word much thought----but recently I have been thinking how apathy gets a bad rap----this last year and a half has given me a warm place in my heart for the cold indifferent shell shocked emotion-----sometimes it's a good thing to just sit back and realize you don't have anything to say about a matter and you seriously could care less